


A Better Sort of Happiness

by RedRavens



Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (2012), Thor (2011)
Genre: F/M, Female Loki, FrostIron - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-07-22
Updated: 2013-08-11
Packaged: 2017-11-10 12:32:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 47,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/466297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRavens/pseuds/RedRavens
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cycle Begins Anew

**Author's Note:**

> This is an answer to this prompt: http://norsekink.livejournal.com/6420.html?thread=12116756

**Tittle** : Better Sort of Happiness.

**Fandom** : Iron Man & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

**Pairing** : female!Loki/Tony

**Summary** : After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

 

**The Cycle Begins Anew**

 

There was something missing in the world, Odin could tell the moment he woke up from Ragnarok. There was something missing, and he couldn't tell what it was. Everything was in peace, everything was golden and his empire was building itself from the ashes of destruction. But there was still something missing.

He couldn't help it, he searched the realms, he searched for that one right thing that would let him rest, the one right thing which would make the worlds perfect.

He knew Frigga felt it too and Thor, when the babe was born also felt it. Something missing, a part of them missing.

It was only when Jotunheimr's war came and went and Odin touched the Casket that he gave voice to what had been bothering him since the beginning of this time.

“Loki.” He whispered, and the whisper carried through the nine realms. Loki was their missing link, their missing element, their missing god... despite the chaos and war and death around him Odin suddenly found this existence much too peaceful. Where was chaos? Disorder? Where was _Loki_?

(~o~)

“Loki.” Thor murmured, memories coming back and wondering where was his little brother.

(~o~)

“Loki.” Frigga whispered, memories of a boy that had never been breaking away from the bonds of another time. She stared ahead, eyes filling with tears, where was Loki?

(~o~)

“Loki.” Sif hissed, eyes narrowing down and touching her golden hair, momentarily distracted from battle. Vile trickster!

“Sif?” Tyr asked, stopping his attack as his companion stopped dead on her tracks. “What is a Loki?” The god of war blinked, recollection coming back after a moment's pause, his eyes wide.

(~o~)

“Loki.” Sigyn whimpered, cradling her empty stomach. There was never a child there, and there would never be. She stopped the tending of her gardens, sitting down, not caring about the silent tears falling.

(~o~)

The eight realms stopped, each one wondering what had become of the Trickster. He had been big, bigger than life, he had been a hurricane going through life and changing each person in a fundamental and, sometimes, unpleasant way. He had been Loki. Loki Odinson, sometimes Laufeyson, Loki the Trickster, the deceiver, the liar, Loki Skywalker, the Ragnarok, mother of monsters...

But where were the monsters if they could not be bought forward by Loki? Who would the nine gather upon to battle against?

(~o~)

“Loki.” Hel muttered, her hand clenched in a fist. She had known Loki as mother, father and betrayer. She had known that Loki had died the moment it had happened and yet... and yet...

Hel searched through her own realm, moving souls and bonds and rocks and skies and fumes and realities out of the way for a sign, for something... and came out empty handed.

Her mother's soul was not in Helheimr, should she weep? Should she contact Odin? She had been sure Loki's soul had not passed through the rebirth process, it had been stored away for the moment when Laufey and Farbauty joined together for the first time.

But Jotunheimr's first prince wasn't a runt, it wasn't Loki, but Helblindi. Hel considered. There was no Loki in this reality, there was no mother, there was nothing. No relations to anyone in the nine realms, no brothers, no family, no uncle and grandparents... and Loki's soul was nowhere to be found.

“Lady Hel?” Came the inquiry, a voice she had never heard of before and yet had, her grandfather's voice.

“Loki soul is not here, it does not reside in the halls of Helheimr.” She said, going for apathetic but sounding hurt.

“He's not in Valhalla either,” Odin said, sitting down by his supposed granddaughter's side. Were they still family? There was no Loki to bind them.

(~o~)

The ninth realm was the only one where life went forward as it is wont to do. An orphan was born to no known parents, raised by nuns in Iceland. Fair skinned, dark haired and green eyed, left on the doorstep of a Convent, on a lukewarm spring night, pink blanket branded with a golden lock.

“Laesa,” the nun whispered as she brought the baby inside, the door locked behind her and Skuld smiled to herself, leaving Iceland behind.

(~o~)

“Laesa,” Tony Stark of Stark Industries muttered, glancing through the curriculum in his hand and at the girl in front of him. They were the same age, barely twenty-three, but he was the figure head of Stark Industries and she, she was the one applying for a job as an engineer. A woman, barely out of MIT herself. “That's it? No last name.”

“I'm pretty sure it's on the CV, Stark.” Laesa said in mildly accented English, eyebrow high and daring the genius before her to argue, “Nafnlaus.”

“That's not a name, that's a translation. I could use google and get either 'nameless' or 'no name' which is pretty much the same thing, so which is it?”

“All of them,” Laesa said, unconcerned, “the nuns which took me in were not very imaginative.” She shrugged, eyeing the engineer before her. “Do you have any relevant questions or should I show myself out?”

“Nuns?” Tony asked, Laesa hardly looked to be the nun-type.

“Are hardly the topic in hand, Stark. You're the one who told me to keep things impersonal.”

“And now I'm changing the rules, so... nuns?” Tony asked with a pleasant smile, but the woman before him just scowled.

“I won't let you change the rules, Stark.” Laesa said, scowling and reaching for her purse.

“All right, all right! Touchy! No nuns then... why do you want to work here, then?” Tony asked, leaning back on his chair, letting his eyes take on the female shape before him. She was hot, smoking hot! All curves and full breasts which he bet would fit in his hand and legs... if there was one thing Tony Stark was a fan of was long legs which could wrap around his middle and bring him closer, and those eyes!

“... and then you show the rumours are true and you care nothing for what I have to say.” Laesa's speech suddenly raised him from his daydream, her legs doing something worth of Sharon Stone and getting up.

“Hey wait, were are you going? What are you doing?” Tony snapped after her, the woman walking purposely to the door and yanking it open. “I thought you wanted to work here!”

“Not anymore I don't. I rather work for Hammer industries!” Laesa snapped, narrowing her eyes. “At least Hammer will not be a chauvinist _pig_ the way you're behaving! I'm not yours to ogle, you stupid shit!”

“That means if you were mine I could?” Tony couldn't help but snap back, walking after her.

“I wouldn't be yours even if you were the last man on earth!” Laesa growled, stalking out of the room and banging the door behind her, her lips pressed together.

“That went well...” Tony muttered, watching her go and turning to the next hopeful Stark Industries Engineer.

(~o~)

“That went well,” Laesa sighed, unknowingly echoing Stark's early words as she entered a bar hours after the fact. She glanced around and, locating the bartender, sauntered over, ordering a Screaming Orgasm.

“I could give you one if you wanted.” Laesa glanced to her side, eyeing the man up and down and sneering.

“That's a horrible pun.” She said, shaking her head. The man was nothing grand, nothing intriguing, pretty common and forgettable. After Stark she needed to at least end the day with something to gloat about. He would do.

“Doesn't mean I'm not right.” The nameless one shrugged, and Laesa smiled invitingly at him.

“I wouldn't know, would I?”

“And neither do you want to.” Came another voice, this one Laesa knew well enough having heard it not even five hours ago. Tony Stark. Laesa gritted her teeth.

“And who are you to tell me what I want or not?” Laesa said, voice low and vaguely threatening.

“Your future employer.” Tony shrugged, taking the seat vacated by the nameless man.

“I don't want to work for you.” Laesa shrugged back, temper already going up.

“I'll double your salary.” Tony said, looking the woman over, smirking as she almost chocked on her drink.

“You're mad.” Laesa hissed, cleaning her face with a napkin. “I just refused the job why would you offer it to me again?!”

“I saw you... I reviewed all your answers and the tapes up from the very first interview. You're intelligent, probably the best out of the ten you were with, and I only hire the best.” Tony said seriously, blue eyes staring into green ones.

“Probably?” Laesa said, frowning.

“Now you're just being picky, I complimented you and everything!” Tony rolled his eyes, snapping his fingers and calling the barman. “I'll have a 7&7.”

“It's not a compliment I'm looking for!” Laesa cried, banging her drink and turning to Tony, “you're a pig, Stark, it's not about money-”

“You're broke.” Tony interrupted, leaning forward, eyes narrowed.

“Yes, I am... stating the obvious here.”

“I'm offering you double your salary and you're refusing... how does that make sense?”

“Oh please, you're only offering after the interview, after you disliked every single one of the candidates and decided randomly that, not only the woman but the woman who turned you down needs the job so you can get your eye candy. Why should I take it?” Laesa said, hands fisted, her short nails digging inside her palm.

“Temper, temper.” Tony tutted, “I'm offering because I can see you'll take it seriously, I can see that you'll enjoy it. I saw your tests, Laesa, I know how high your IQ is, I know what that does and I know that you'll never be bored at Stark Industries!”

“I still don't want to work with you!” Laesa said, turning around and grabbing her purse. Seemed like she was always running from Stark.

He couldn't leave well enough alone, could he? Tony also got up, leave a $100 bill to the bartender and leaving him the change. For a woman in high heels Laesa sure could run!

“Must you be so damn stubborn?!” Tony cried as he ran after her.

“Yes, your very presence is annoying me!” Laes hissed, stalking away from Tony, rubbing her arms at the sudden chill. Tony just rolled his eyes, placing his jacket on Laesa's back.

“You're so rude!”

“To people who annoy me.” Laesa shot back, glaring at Tony.

“I want you to work for me. Hell you won't even have to see me! Look, I'll add another $500 to your salary!” Tony cried, throwing his hands up and still stalking after Laesa.

“Stubborn mule... fine, I'll think about it.” Laesa said, crossing her arms and refusing the look at Tony. “I need to go home to think.”

“No being rude with you employer!” Tony tsk-ed, hauling a cab. The both of them stood, waiting, breathing heavily and glaring at each other.

“I want seventy-thousand a year, at the very least.”

“Make that eighty and come to the R&D.” Tony countered.

“No thank you, I'd have to see you every day if I did.” Laesa snorted derisively.

“Would that be so bad?”

“You're a pig, Stark. The only reason I even want to work in Stark Industries is because it is the best, and I want to make it better, that does not mean I want to look at you every day.”

“Who wouldn't want to look at me every day?”

“Me!” Laesa shouted, looking away from Stark and to the cab suddenly there. Tony blinked at it, opening the door to the cab to the woman and handing the cabbie a $100. “I can pay for it myself, Stark.”

“No you can't, you're broke, and I've already paid for it anyway!”

“You're infuriating!”

“So are you, do not be late tomorrow morning, ask for Pepper and she will show you around.”

“I'm never late, Stark.” Laesa snapped.

“That's good to know,” Tony leered at her, getting a facefull of his jacket in return, “rude!”

“Infuriating, how did you manage to hold your position for so long?”

“I'm a genius baby, a genius! Oi, give me your number!”

“So you can bother me later? No!” Laesa said, recoiling from Stark's presence.

“Do as I said, I'm your employer!” Tony grinned, it had been a while since he had encountered someone he liked to annoy.

“That line's getting old, find a new one!” Laesa said, but got a paper from her tiny purse and scrambled a number in it anyway, “there, do with it whatever you want! Cabbie, to the Hilton.” Tony grinned, triumphant, as the cab rolled out of view he took the paper, opening up, his smile sliding right out of his face.

“You win this round, Laesa. You win this round.” Tony snickered to himself, pocketing the digits and texting Happy. It had been a productive day all in all.

'3.14159265'


	2. As far as second meetings go...

 

**Fandom:** Iron Man & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

**Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

**Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

As far as second meetings go...

Laesa sighed, closing the door to her flat and leaning against it. Three months. Three months working for Stark Industries, and by god she HATED weapons. She had a license to shoot, wonderful, but she hated it.

Laesa sighed again, wondering about her life. She loved engineering, she did, but with the amount of harassment from Stark about her looks she couldn't  help but want to be born a man...

She chuckled, a dry and mirthless sound, reaching for her phone, at least she had Pepper to talk to on days like this, she reached into her pocket, fishing out her StarkPhone. Another thing she had gotten out of her job, a brand-new, if customized, StarkPhone. She dialed a number automatically, holding it to her ear.

Occupied.

Fuck.

She dialed another number, ordering Thai and finally entering her flat and taking off her shoes, jacket, watch and throwing her purse away. Might as well work on a side project.

She opened a Stark tablet, typing and opening a jumble of blue schematics, her boss' face showing up on the upper right corner. It was a pastime really... Shooting darts in Stark's face when he got too annoying. Bitting her lip in a moment of mirth, she opened another window, glancing briefly at the calculations before leaving her tablet on the couch and opening a laptop.

Dexter, her greatest pride yet.

Named after a cartoon, but so what? She still liked it, an automate system which would be able to take care of her house and be almost sentient... She had heard rumors about a similar system made by Stark but she didn't want something _that_ sentient.

Laesa liked her privacy which is why, when there was a knock on her door and she opened only to come face to face with Stark holding her Thai, she banged the door on his face.

(~o~)

Odin stared ahead, looking at nothing and yet at everything. Was it odd that he considered this unknown version of Loki his son? That he still loved the Trickster, the Changer, the Ragnarok without having met him?

The events... They were changing, the lack of Loki was already causing an uproar on the realms and Odin was not sure he liked it. His people certainly didn't. Freyja had had to marry Thrym, the Jotun builder, since none of the Æsir could deceive him as well as Loki had in other lifetimes. 

Odin wasn't supposed to remember, but he did... The time Loki had bought them Mjolnir and Gungnir as gifts in a golden boat. Sometimes he resented and Thor  and Sif for that, all that work, all those gifts, the bet the needless punishment... All because Loki had cut her hair.

Hair, something that would eventually grow back.

Odin snorted, holding Gungir... Strange that the weapon didn't hold the same meaning that it had before. It held fondness for someone he didn't know, it held sadness and parental longing for someone he had never met before. He had images in his head, of a young boy running after his blond brother, of a dark haired child swearing he hadn't eaten sweet cakes when his mouth was dirty with powdered sugar.

Of a young man quietly learning magic in the library. Odd that Odin couldn't remember ever having taught or played with his son and his magic, he had, after all, always used magic...

He remember a child, hugging a stuffed mountain lion, asking to sleep with his parents with a tear stained face, he had been annoyed while Frigga had cuddled the child.

He missed his boy, even thought Loki wasn't his boy this time around. Even thought he hadn't been quite a good father.

What had happened after all? Why was Loki not born? Why wasn't he with the Frost Giants? Why had Laufey never given birth to him? Odin knew he hadn't, he had asked, had demanded to know where was Loki. Laufey hadn't known. Had never given birth to anyone by that name.

Frigga had been devastated and so, apparently, had Sigyn...

(~o~)

"Don't be like that, Laesa, come on, let me in!"

"Absolutely not! Stalker!"

"It's Stark! I just want to talk... You've been different, you've been... Not what I thought you'd be, you've been the same as every other engineer, that's not what we signed up for!"

"What?!" Laesa cried, opening the door to be faced with a smug Tony Stark.

"Well finally." He said, stepping inside the flat and arching an eyebrow, "tiny..." he muttered.

"Cozy." Laesa snapped, "Now what do you want?" Laesa asked, crossing her arms.

"You do know I'm your boss, right?"

"Unfortunately..." Laesa mumbled, shooting dark looks in Stark's direction.

"Hey now!" 

Laesa snorted, a little smile tugging at her lips. "I hope you brought your own food, because I'm not sharing." She said, closing the door behind her.

"You're so rude!"

"Yes, what of it?" She shrugged, grabbing her take out and leaving them in the kitchen counter. Laesa debated with herself for a minute, bitting her lower lip and grabbing two forks.

She casually left the second one on the table, grabbing the green curry and preparing to eat.

"No chopsticks?" Stark asked, grabbing the fork and another box with something smelling like chicken and coconut.

"I'm not that skilled." Laesa said, mumbling about the curry, "not with chopsticks anyway."

"Weapon of choice?" Stark asked.

"Screwdriver." Laesa smirked, "preferably sonic, but I'm not picky." She winked, wondering if Stark would get the reference. He did.

"Haven't invented that one yet. When I do, you'll be my companion, sounds good?"

"Sounds better for me to invent the sonic screwdriver, and you can be the tag along."

"A female doctor?"

"hm-hmm..." Laesa agreed, mouth full.

"So, what's going on with you lately?" Stark asked, leaving the coconut smelling dish on the side, suddenly leaning forward. Laesa blinked as intelligent blue eyes stared at her with sudden intensity. She wasn't used to it. She would much rather think of Stark as a womanizer CEO that didn't really get much of anything involving projects.

"What do you mean?" She asked instead of answering, stalling.

"Please don't take me for a fool. I thought you knew better than that by now."

"Easier to think you a fool, all things considered." Laesa shrugged.

"I'll be a fool for your loving no more." Stark said, smiling faintly.

"Whitesnake." Laesa replied, without missing a beat.

"Honestly now, I can see you're unhappy, quite different from the woman which started working for me. What happened?"

Laesa shrugged, avoiding Stark's eyes. There was no point in answering, not like Stark would--

"Tell me, I hate seeing brilliant minds going to waste like yours is doing."

"I hate building weapons." Laesa replied then, looking at her food, playing with her food. "I think I'd like it better in the tech division, phones, tablets, computers, non destructive tech." Laesa shrugged, suddenly with no appetite.

"See, it wasn't that hard, was it? I'll see what I can do about it, ta!" Stark said, suddenly getting up.

"Stark?"

"There's no point in letting you into a department you hate, doing stuff you hate. I'm not sure why you'd seek to hide it, thought."

"I've never thought you'd let me go from the area I'm working in. You've made your interest well known." Laesa shrugged, torn between shame and acceptance.

"I'd rather have a brilliant mind doing stimulating things than having eye candy." Stark grinned, putting his glasses back on - who used dark glasses at night? - and leaving her flat.

Laesa looked lost for a moment, blinking at the cartons of food. Had he actually...? She snorted, disbelieving. Poking at her curry and staring at the coconut dish. She barely noticed her phone ringing, it was automatic to pick it up and answer it.

"Laesa?" The female on the other line asked. Pepper.

"You're not gonna believe what happened." She muttered, smiling stupidly into her food. And all she could think of was how she hated coconut dishes.

(~o~)

Tony stared at his employee, smirking. It had been over a month since Tony had informally introduced himself to Laesa's life, and she had proved to be as annoying and as intelligent as he had secondly thought - after he had checked her out of course.

Currently she was arguing with Neil, frowning, ears going red, hair slipping from the braid. Well that was the problem with R&D engineers, they always thought they were in the right, and often enough, Tony knew, they weren't.

"Oi, Laesa!"

"What?!" She snapped.

"Come here," Tony pointed, grinning like a loon.

Laesa at least had the sense to look mildly ashamed, walking up to him and glaring. "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him."

"I know, calm down, love."

"Ugh, don't call me that!"

"I do because you hate it."

"I would really like to call you some things now, but I can't."

"Good, because I'm in boss-mode now."

Laesa bit her lip, her eyes lighting up in glee, she sort of liked when Stark entered boss mode.

"Yes, Mr. Boss-man?"

"Smart mouth, what happened?" Tony asked, nodding in Neil's direction.

"Disagreement, he wants to put braille on the phone, but that's impossible! It would ruin the whole design!" She huffed, eyes narrowed and hands on her hips. "It's easier and cheeper to sell it as an add on, no point in ruining things for people who do no have the disability."

"I see." He was silent for a moment, clearly thinking. "What if we made a smaller amount of  phones with braille instead?"

It was Laesa's turn to think, and, Tony thought, it was always interesting to witness, the faces she made as she thought, her thought process, the way her mind worked... If he didn't have a clear policy against dating his employees, he would definitely be all over her.

"Nope, wouldn't work. We would have to sell the enhanced phone about thirty percent higher than the normal one just to cover production costs, while producing the add on would only add about fifteen percent and be specifically directed towards a target audience, besides," she smirked, eyes far, far away, "we won't have problems with customers buying the more expensive phone thinking it will be better, only to realize it's the same deal with a braille screen."

"Lawsuits?"

"Yep."

"We could use SI's team of lawyers..."

"True," Laesa conceded, nodding, "but we shouldn't have to when we can do things in a easier, cheaper and with a guarantee of profit that will work."

"Why not leave it only with the VoiceOver feature?" Tony asked, eyes sharp and trained on her.

"Because that's an Apple feature, if it's all the same, I'd rather not be called a copycat."

Tony smirked. Yes, taking Laesa out of the Weapon's Vault was one of his best decisions yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler chapter, but I like their interaction.


	3. The Stirring of the Wheel

**Tittle:** A Better Sort of Happiness

**Fandom:** Iron Man  & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

**Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

**Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

The stirring of the wheel 

It was Urd who found her first, tending to the well as she was wont to do on the cold days, gently stirring the water to see present and the myriad of futures that could happen. But these days she was only interested in one individual, had, in fact, only been interested in only one individual for the past thousand years even before his death.

Loki.

They had worked together far more times than Loki had ever realized and, at the end of everything, Skuld considered him a friend and sometimes crush. Loki was very, very dashing after all. All versions of him, and this one was no different. Skuld could see Stark's interest going up as the days went by, charmed by the very things Asgard has shunned Loki for. She couldn't help the little flare of jealousy that swept her as she stared at Laesa but... This time it was more sisterly than the flare of jealousy of a lover. And Loki was happy. She didn't realize yet, but she was happy, happier than any of her incarnations had ever been.

Oh yes, that had been one of her best decisions yet.

"What did you do?" Urd asked once she was close enough.

"What I promised to do, that's all." Skuld shrugged, unconcerned.

"Skuld..." Urd sighed, exasperated. "We're watchers..."

"No, we're not." Skuld denied with a shake of her head, dark hair flying. "You're the watcher of things that have passed, the one who remembers it all. The one who sees what Verdandi and I create and how beautiful and deadly it can be."

"We," she said, "Verdandi and I, are the creator of things to be."

"And you have altered Loki's Destiny."

"Aye."

"Why?"

"Because that's a secret between me and Loki."

"And Loki doesn't remember."

"Yes, a secret is best kept when only one person knows, don't you think?"

(~o~) 

Laesa laughed, shoulders shaking as she leaned against Pepper. Dark hair falling on her back, mixed with red hair as Pepper also laughed herself silly.

"And then he goes and shouts, 'I didn't want to do it anyway!' and stomps off." Neil grinned, eyeing the two ladies. It was a regular Friday night out, dance, drinks, jokes and sex, though not between them, least things got weird.

"Oh geez, you're the best, Neil!" Laesa grinned, downing the rest of her drink. "Do you guys want anything else? Drink? Food? Round's on Pepper..." she winked.

"Oh thank you very much! Why don't you pay for your own drinks?"

"Because it's better if I someone else buys them for you, spoils or something." she said, shrugging.

"And who do you think should buy your drink? Me?" Pepper said, her smile beautiful and enthralling.

"I kid, I don't take drinks from girls, Pepper, no matter how lovely they are." Laesa winked, moving to the bar.

"What of gentleman?" A voice interrupted her, and Laesa couldn't help but roll her eyes even as she smirked, coming face to face with Tony.

"I see no gentlemen here, Mr. Stark. Do you?"

"I do see a very gifted engineer, what do you see?" Tony grinned, hands in his pockets.

"My boss... Who's looking rather dashing tonight. Are you buying me a drink?" Laesa grinned, hands on her hips.

"Maybe if you dance with me." Tony grinned back, teasing.

"Blackmail!" Laesa cried out in mock outrage.

"Oh yes, to the highest degree!" Tony snorted, ordering two double shots of tequila and handing her one. "So, dance?"

"What do I get out of it?"

"Your drink? Maybe?"

"No way!" Laesa said, grinning, green eyes full of mirth staring into Tony's blue ones. _'I do like his eyes,'_ she thought, blinking.

"Oh come on... For me!?"

"No way, Tony I work for you."

"Promise not to hit on you?"

"You are impossible, did you know that?" She complained, smiling.

"Wrong adjective, sweetheart, I think you meant impressive? Genius? Amazing?"

"No... I'm pretty sure I meant impossible."

"How about incredible?" Tony asked, downing his shot and leading Laesa to the dance floor, swaying the dark haired, green eyed woman to the beat of the music.

"How about no?"

"You're impossible."

"No, I'm pretty sure that was you." Laesa laughed, twirling on the dance floor, Tony's hands at her waist, her body molding to his.

Skuld's projection glanced at them, lips pressed into a pleasant smile. Loki was doing fine now, and would continue to do fine if Skuld had any say in her life.

Pepper and Neil stared at the scene, Pepper blinking in amazement and Neil frowning in bemusement.

"I had no idea she was in a relationship with Stark."

"She isn't." Pepper sighed, crossing her arms, eyebrow going up.

"Then...?"

"As far as I know they're friends, but given what's going on over there," she tilted her head in their direction, seeing as Tony's fingers traveled down Laesa's back, and Laesa rolling her eyes at him. "I don't think they're that far off from a relationship..."

"Pity..." Neil sighed, shaking his head, "care to dance?"

"Absolutely." Pepper smiled, taking his hand.

(~o~) 

__

_'Danger,'_ Tony thought, hands gripping Laesa as they danced. It had guitars and drums in it so Tony was betting it was a rock'n'roll tune, not something he recognized at all. 'I'm getting attached, I can't.' He mentally shook himself, getting attached to his employee was bad business. He needed to let go, needed to-

"I love this song!" Laesa said, grabbing his hands and throwing her head back and forth, body twisting to the rhythm. 

"I know this," it was somewhat slower and more rock than the previous ones, "wait."

"Yes, it's a rendition of 'Enjoy the Silence'"

"Oh god... They didn't! You just don't do that to Depeche Mode!"

"Oh stop being a prude, this version is just as nice!"

"To dance... Maybe," he agreed with a sour face, and Laesa laughed, turning around in his arms.

"That's what we're doing, isn't it?" 

"Can I interrupt?" Came another voice, and Laesa turned to stare into blond hair and green eyes and a fit body, she grinned, taking his hand and with a muttered 'see you later' to Tony.

Tong just shook his head, staring around himself and the myriad of long legged women around him, he grinned, moving towards the bar again and ordering a shot of whisky before he left to enjoy the rest of his night.

(~o~) 

Tony woke up the next day next nursing a rather mild headache and next to a dark haired woman, he hugged her, drawing her close and nuzzling her hair...

"hmmm, yes please," said the voice he was not expecting. Tony opened his eyes, wide, staring into the raven hair, the curves oh so different from the ones he held onto last night, more curvy, heavy breasts... He usually preferred the type, but he had wanted someone a little more slim, C-cup breasts which he could hold onto to, not so curvy, he wanted green eyes shinning in happiness...

(~o~) 

Laesa woke up without a headache, on someone's bed yes, but not the bed she wanted.  
 _Which bed do you want?'_ she asked herself, yawning and stretching. _Don't be a fool, you know very well which bed you want, and it's not this one.'_

Stark, of course it was Stark's! She had wanted him since he had appeared in her doorstep, if she was honest with herself. The man had a genius to rival her own, complementary tempers...

"Don't fool yourself," she muttered, "it's not gonna happen."

"Hm?" Came another voice, someone she didn't know. Someone she didn't care to know, "what was that?"

"It's nothing," she smiled, yawning again. What was his name? Patrick? Pierre? Pietro? He sort of looked like a Pietro. She got up again, looking around for her dress and shoes, uncaring of the green eyes on her.

"You're not gonna stay? We could do it all over again." The man, maybe-Paul, said, his hands on her waist, lacking the sureness and the pressure Stark had used with her. Why had she gone home with him again? Oh yes, she wanted to get laid, wanted to forget the stupid crush she had on her boss.

"No, thanks..." She replied with a smile, twisting around in his arms and slowly leading his hands to safe ground. "Gotta work, ideas to implement and all."

"Hm? And what do you do?" The man asked, hands on her sides, sliding up and down.

Laesa sighed, she knew that if she went with the truth, he would either feel threatened or want a job for himself. She would rather lie than face that again.

"Personal Assistant for a Director at Hammer Industries," she shrugged in apparent half-shame. No one would willingly work for Hammer.

"Oh," he muttered, glancing at her.

"Yeah, I know, right?" She laughed, shrugging and giving maybe-Pablo a kiss on the cheek. "Now really, I gotta go."

"Hey, can I get your number?" He asked, watching her leave.

"Sure, call me, maybe" she winked, writing Pi on a piece of paper and handing to him. As soon as she left the flat she threw out his number, grumbling under her breath as she walked home.

She was half-way to her own flat when her phone started ringing, the tune for Black Sabbath's Paranoid ringing in her purse. She knew who it was, only one person had that tone. Stark.

"Hey boss-man."

"Hello, darling. Are you free? We have something to discuss." Stark's smooth voice was only interrupted by the loud sound of a door closing on his end.

"Are we talking physics?" She asked, voice coy as she entered the elevator, nodding in acknowledgement to her neighbors.

"Ah... I was thinking math and mechanics..."

"Oh, I do so love when you talk dirty to me... What are we working on?"

"I thought about starting a new project, but I wanted your input."

Laesa agreed, sending a quick text to Pepper, rescheduling their lunch date.

(~o~) 

Pepper blinked at the text, reading it again. Tony needed input, was that it? Tony? CEO and local genius of Stark Industries? The most annoying, self-centered and self-assured person she knew? That Tony?

Pepper snorted to herself, sending _'ok, see you next week'_ to Laesa.

If they weren't in a relationship by the end of the year, she would quit her job.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, the version of 'Enjoy the Silence' they were listening to is by Nada Surf.


	4. Down The Rabbit Hole

**Tittle:** A Better Sort of Happiness

 **Fandom:** Iron Man  & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

 **Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

 **Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

**Down the Rabbit Hole**

The loud music was not unexpected, nor was the female laugh. The fact both of them were coming from Tony's personal workshop however...

"J.A.R.V.I.S.," Pepper asked, the click of her heels unheard due to the loud music, "Who's with Tony?" She asked. Tony never let people in his workshop, never.

"Ms. Nafnlaus." J.A.R.V.I.S. said, the British accent sounding like Laesa's. "Master seems to have found a new toy." J.A.R.V.I.S. stated in his dry voice.

"I think you have it wrong there..." Pepper snorted, going down the workshop, Laesa's laugh and Tony's voice guiding her. "J.A.R.V.I.S.? Don't tell them I'm here, okay?" She asked, smiling to herself.

"Certainly," the AI said.

Pepper found them in the workshop, both of them playing with schematics and holograms, it looked like something out of Star Trek. Both of them were sitting by the image, Tony with one hand supporting his head and the other drumming as he analyzed the blueprints wearing only a wife-beater and jeans; Laesa, she could see, was wearing _Tony's_ long sleeved black shirt and shorts. Pepper honestly hopped she was wearing something else under the shirt.

"It's an interesting idea," Tony said grudgingly, Pepper could tell.

"But you're not gonna do it." Laesa sighed, clearly disappointed and Tony's frown deepened, Pepper smiled to herself.

"We don't deal with toys, you know that."

"Like we don't deal with computers and smartphones?" Laesa said, smiling. "And I was thinking along the lines of video games rather than high-tech action figures."

The three of them were silent for a moment, Pepper watching and the other two staring at each other until Tony sighed.

"It's not viable for Stark Industries, too much research in a field we don't deal with and the's no chance of-"

"Then let me do it on your lab!" Laesa interrupted, staring at Tony with an intensity that scared him. It was the look he himself had on the occasions he believed he was in the right and with a good cause.

Tony sighed in defeat, shoulder dropping slightly, but it was all the signal Laesa needed to jump from her stool and hug the billionaire, kissing his cheek over and over again. Tony found himself wrapping and arm around her waist, looking at the mad schematics in front of him.

"On that note," Pepper interrupted them, walking forward with her tablet, noticing, with a certain amusement, that they didn't jump away from each other, rather Tony had tightened his embrace and a set of blue eyes and a set of green eyes were staring at her. "It's time to actually work instead of thinking crazy plots."

"Pepper, what day is it?" Tony asked, blinking at her.

"It's Monday, around 10am at the moment." She smiled at them beatifically, the smile getting wider as she looked at the put upon look on Tony and the forlorn look on Laesa. She knew manipulation when she saw it. "No use giving me that look, Tony you have at least two meetings today and Laesa you have work to do on the new tablet. Come on, honeymoon is over."

Pepper couldn't help but laugh as they finally let go of each other with a certain haste.

"Send the blueprints to my tablet?" Laesa asked, already moving towards the glass door.

"Sure thing, J.A.R.V.I.S.?"

"File uploading." The AI said.

"Oh, you _are_ a dear!" They heard Laesa's voice moving, and the AI reply, sounding smug. If an AI could sound smug.

"Stop spoiling my babies!" Tony shouted, smirking. Pepper found herself wondering what happened during the weekend. But she could pester Laesa later if needed.

"J.A.R.V.I.S. make sure Ms. Nafnlaus has access to the lab and related areas," Tony asked before turning to Pepper. "What's on the agenda today?"

Pepper raised an eyebrow at the order, but related the agenda anyway, wondering what had happened to them.

(~o~) 

The next months were... Daunting to day the least. The odd dance between Laesa and Tony could be felt by everyone and the pressure was really on when Laesa was promoted to Project Supervisor (it would take another two years to be promoted as head of department and then another five to get Director under her belt) and rumors started floating around of her sleeping with Stark.

She made sure her own team knew that hater were gonna hate and her bosses also knew she had won the position by her own merits. That's what mattered at the end of the day, when she spent time either in Stark's workshop, working on blueprints or in her own home reading up on fields totally foreign to her.

At least she had started yet another degree this time in Neuroscience. It would, however, take over ten years for her little pet project to complete.

(~o~)

It was on one of the nights she spent in Tony's couch that she was to finally meet James "Rhodey" Rhodes, she had her personal tablet on her lap, feet tucked in under her, sitting on Stark's couch, schematics dancing on the screen as she muttered to herself, the image unknowingly resembling someone else's design, and the question 'Can brainwaves work like that?' on the back of her mind, a little seed of doubt.

"Okay," a voice interrupted, a voice Not-Tony, somewhat deeper and not with the same level of cockiness. "You're new, who are you and where's Tony?"

Laesa blinked, looking at the dark man in a military uniform. She didn't think Stark had law-abiding friends...

"I'm Laesa, Tony's in the workshop. Who are you?" She pointed to the stairs, where the faint sound of music could be heard. Definitely not the blazing and ear-splitting sound Rhodey was used to. Did Tony put up soundproof walls?

"James Rhodes, Tony's BFF. Pleasure." He smiled unconvincingly, walking towards the workshop.

Laesa shrugged to herself, "J.A.R.V.I.S.? He really is who he says he is, right?" She asked. It never hurt to ask, just to be sure.

"Indeed, would you like to see what they're talking about?"

"Invasion of privacy much?"

"Sir has given you access." Neutrality, as always, with Stark's underlining snark, but in British. Laesa smiled to herself, tucking the tablet away.

"Well, in that case... Just don't tell on me."

"Oh, never!" That infliction again, neutrality. Laesa smiled bitterly to herself, she hated neutrality, as the tv begun to show what was going on in the workshop.

(~o~) 

"So you didn't get soundproof walls." Was the first thing Rhodey said as he stepped inside the workshop.

"Nah, why?"

"You're listening to music and it's not causing deafness. Why?"

Tony smirked a bit, glancing at the mainframe where J.A.R.V.I.S. was kept and where he ran everything, "the lady asked."

"Yeah, that's another thing. Who is she? And why are you not upstairs entertaining her? Usually when you have a girl over that's not Pepper... Well you know."

"I do, but thank you for reminding me of my reputation, really appreciate it!" Tony said with a self depreciating tight smile.

Rhodey rolled his eyes at him. "She's not, you know..."

"Lesbian? I'm fairly sure she isn't, I have seen her with males before."

"Dude, you sure you're alright? I'm fairly sure you haven't nailed her, else she wouldn't be here. She didn't break you or something, did she?"

"Nah, just..."

"Tony?"

"It's nothing, inner musings and all that." Tony sighed, rolling his eyes again.

"If you're sure..."

"Yeah, we'll talk later. So how was it?"

"You know I can't talk about it."

"Oh fine, just kill the mood. Score anything?"

"Tony, mission?" Rhodey laughed, no, Stark had not changed at all.

"So? Doesn't mean you can't score anything." Tony winked at him, looking at the engine in front of him. "I think it needs more speed, and to be slicker, don't you agree?"

"What are you messing with?"

"The Jaguar, it needs more speed."

"No, it doesn't."

"Fine I just need a distraction. Things are chaotic, we're releasing stuff."

"I know, I heard the big ones were all with their panties in a twist, all waiting with batted breath and wet panties for Stark's latest toys."

"Okay, stop. That? Not an image I needed, like ever!" Tony shuddered, thinking of a few fat colonels he had unfortunately met.

Rhodey stopped, clearly trying not to laugh. "Man, your imagination is scary."

(~o~) 

"...ith my imagination." Stark said and Laesa smiled to herself.

"Okay, turn it off J.A.R.V.I.S. it's late and I need to go home."

"Mr. Stark has said you could remain here if you wished." Neutrality again.

"I know but... It might be dangerous." She sighed, rubbing her arms, a bad habit she had since she was a little kid. It would be dangerous. To fall for Stark would be a mistake, she knew that, but he seemed to get her in a way hardly anyone ever did. But Tony was dangerous. To get in his web was...

"Mr. Stark is not working on anything that might explode, miss." Neutrality, but it surprised a laugh out of her.

"I know, dangerous in other ways though." She said, voice still with a hint of laughter. "Besides," she continued, "I kinda of miss Dexter."

"Your AI, is that right?" was that... Was that animosity? Laesa snorted, trying to keep from laughing.

"Yes, yes he is, nowhere near your level though," who would've thought, soothing an AI's ego. J.A.R.V.I.S. really was Stark's creation through and through.

"Undoubtedly." The AI agreed, and now Laesa could detect a hint of smugness which was not there until now.

"Yes, yes... Tell Stark I'm leaving, would you?"

She smiled to herself, getting her backpack and throwing her books and tablet inside, suddenly feeling like a schoolgirl on a sleep over. _'Stop being melodramatic'_ she told herself, shaking her head. "Bye J.A.R.V.I.S.!" She called.

"Oi! Wait up!" Tony called, running up the stairs with Rhodey running after him and trying to smother laughter. "Laesa? Hey!"

"What?" she called, halfway through the parking lot.

"Where are you going?" He called, walking up to her with long strides.

"Away from you," she replied, smiling. "No, seriously, I need to go home, it's been what? Over two days since I slept in my own bed."

 _'You could remain here for a while,'_ Tony thought, stopping himself from pursuing her further. _What!?_ "You could stay, you know... Your room is still here."

"I know, but I miss my bed, my house, Dexter."

"Dexter?"

"My own version of J.A.R.V.I.S." she replied, smiling, "but nowhere near as intrusive."

"J.A.R.V.I.S.' not intrusive!" Tony cried, finally catching up to her. Rhodey watched them from afar, amused.

"Of course he is, he runs everything in the house with no filter and no privacy. In fact," she sighed bitterly, "I bet J.A.R.V.I.S. is listening to us right now, isn't he?" 

"Yes," he agreed without shame, "but J.A.R.V.I.S. is far better than yours, I've seen the schematics for your Dexter."

"Shame on you Mr. Stark!" Laesa cried in mock outrage, she had known the moment he had looked, had allowed it even.

(~o~) 

"Odin," Hella said with a slight nod. One ruler acknowledging another.

"Hella." Odin returned, he knew he had never had parental feelings towards her or any of Loki's children, but to have the possibility of something ripped away from them like that... It left a bitter taste in his mouth.

Oddly enough it seemed to him that Hella and him got along better now than they ever had in previous incarnations.

"How can I help you this time, Odin son of Borr?" Hella said, a hint of respect, a hint of animosity. One ruler to another.

"I came about Loki."

"Again?" A hint of surprise, a hint of sorrow, not for Odin, but for her and her siblings which were not siblings.

"Yes, Frigga has been having dreams."

"And that should be worrying? Frigga has always had dreams, some bear truth, some do not." Hella shrugged, feigning aloofness. She still had to stop herself from calling Odin and Frigga grandfather and grandmother. They should mean nothing to her

"These are different." Odin sighed, conjuring a smaller throne for himself. Since the lack of Loki had made itself known Odin had started practicing more and more magic. "Frigga has been dreaming the past. She has been seeing through another's eyes."

Oh. Well then... That changed everything. Frigga's dreams were ruled either by Verdandi or Skuld, dreams of present and future. Never by Urd.

"And?" Hella said, leaning forward. "What did she see?"

"Green eyes, black hair, a mortal body. She knew it to be the past Midgard."

"You think Loki is in Midgard." Not a question.

"Yes, it wouldn't be the first time."

"Yes, but as a mortal? An unknowingly mortal carrying the soul of a god?" Hella scoffed. It was unlikely if not outright impossible. Despite similarities in appearances a mortal's body would be too weak to house the soul of a god, least of all the god of fire.

"It has been known to happen."

"Yes, for Loki to go down to Midgard and pretend to be a regular human, not for Loki to be reincarnated _as_ a human! There's a difference. Had Loki truly been reborn as a mortal, then his powers would manifest too fast, Loki would've been killed." _'And I would have felt it.'_ she added mentally, she had yet to feel something, anything regarding her missing parent.

Did Loki even count as a parent anymore?

"And if someone had bound his powers? Allowed it to mature before releasing them?"

"Who would?" Hella countered. She had never heard of someone with that ability besides Odin and Loki himself.

"There are more powerful beings than us, Hella, surely you've learned that lesson."

"Death and Life themselves and bellow them the Norns, yes. The Norns do not interfere directly with anyone, despite the web of fate, you know that."

"And if they did?" Odin countered, staring directly at the woman who, in another life, could've been his granddaughter.

"Do you honestly believe they would? Tell me All-father, do you truly believe the Norns would move for one god?"

Odin shook his head, getting to his feet. "I do not, but any possibility is viable."

"Is Asgard that dull without Loki?" Hella asked, suddenly amused.

"You've no idea." Odin smiled bitterly. All of the Aesir had noticed stagnation. No one had the willpower to do anything. "I have put a spell on Midgard," Odin continued, "a geas, if Loki's powers manifest in the young ones we will know."

"Heimdall?"

"Yes," Odin said, getting to his feet again, vanishing the throne.

"Why only the young ones? Loki, if Loki truly is in Midgard, could be any age now. Frigga has been dreaming of the past." Hella pointed, sitting back on her own throne.

"The young ones lack control over certain sorts of powers. Specially the ancient soul of a god." Odin sighed, turning away from Hella with a nod of acknowledgment. "And I need to have hope we will find Loki."

Hella watched as Odin turned away and vanished from her helm. She shook her head, thoughts swirling in her mind though only one demanded attention.

"And what would you do if you found Loki? Bind him again? Lock and kill his children? What would you do if the Loki you expect is not the Loki you find, grandfather?" She hoped against hope that Odin would never find her mother.

(~o~) 

Laesa found herself pressed against Tony, his lips on hers, his hands holding on to her hips, her legs entwined with his, their breaths mingling.

It had happened somewhere around winter, this partnership between them. Tony had been drinking alone, Laesa had been drinking, watching Tony by the corner of her eye. Two loners together near New Year's eve. Oh there had been a party, but it had winded down over three hours. The guests had left, Rhodey had taken Laesa's guest room, Pepper was on leave, so that left only Laesa and Tony, alone and drinking.

It had been a lapse in judgement, unplanned, and Laesa had never regretted it either.

They didn't know who had asked, but they had found themselves naked, traces of semen on the inside of Laesa's thighs, and a rather blissful night of sex and sleep. It had been awkward, waking up next to Tony, naked and sleeping. Or... Not so much sleeping but pretending to.

"Don't pretend to sleep when you're clearly not." She had said, stretching herself. He had remained silent, eyes opened slightly, staring at her.

"Oh honestly." She had sighed, getting up and moving to the shower. "You're welcomed to join me while I'm in the shower, we had sex yes, but it doesn't have to change anything between us."

He had joined her, but she had been wrong. It had changed everything between them.

The change from friends to friends with benefits, had, of course, been nice. No more sleepless night, feeling horny and having to satisfy herself (thought Tony did like to watch, the bastard) but something much more important had developed. They were always touching now.

Be it at work, be it on Tony's workshop, at parties, everywhere. Either with Tony by her side and a hand on her back or, as was the case now, with Tony pinning her to a wall, kissing her breathless and ignoring the guests for his own party.

"Tony," she sighed into his kisses, "Tony not here."

"I want you." He growled, hands on her back, one going lower.

"I want you too, darling, but you know I don't care for people being voyeurs when he fuck."

"Fuck,"

"That's one of your gifts, yes, but not now." She smiled, enjoying his ministrations on her neck, tilting her head back to let him reach further.

"I want you now." He breathed against her mouth, and Laesa laughed, breathless, pushing Tony away.

"Me too," she laughed, it was insane to be able to admit it not only to herself b it. To Tony as well. "But we've got a party to attend to."

"Laesa..."

"No! Later... Promise I'll make it worth the wait." She smiled, giving him a quick kiss before darting away, the shadow of Obadiah Stane watching them with fondness.

"Hey Tony!" A voice interrupted him, Rhodey standing just a few feet from him. They hugged, Rhodey clamping hard on Tony's shoulder, the other hand holding a drink. "Happy birthday man!"

"Thanks," Tony grinned, eyes searching his dame around the room.

"Man you're hanged on her."

"No, I don't do the whole relationship deal, you know that."

"Says you... I bet you anything if Laesa turned up with a boyfriend you would kill him." Rhodey grinned, watching Tony glare at nothing. "Man I love it when I'm right!"

Tony just sighed, staring at nothing, if one could deem nothing as Laesa mingling around, talking and being a rather sociable.

"Go for it, man... She's into you and hey, she's worth it!"

"Are you saying the rest of the women in my life aren't?" Tony snorted.

"Let's put it like this: with how many of them can you discuss the finer points of your operational system over a cheeseburger?"

Tony smiled, then laughed outright, getting a few weird looks in his direction. "Fine, I concede, you might be right."

"Might be?"

"Well I've no idea if she's interested or not."

"Tony," Rhodey sighed, arms around Tony's shoulder. "You might be a genius, but for some things you're as thick as Forest Gump."

"Hey now!"

"I mean it! Anyone with eyes can see she's just as hanged up on you as you are on her. Just start dating already!" Rhodey muttered, "If you do it now I'll get ten bucks over Pepper!"

"I love how you two bet on my love life." Tony laughed again, downing his drink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long, I've always found it hard to advance relationships, but I hope I did this one right :)


	5. When Similars Attract

**Tittle:** A Better Sort of Happiness

 **Fandom:** Iron Man  & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

 **Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

 **Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

**When Similars Attract**

"What are you planning?" Skuld asked, approaching Urd at the well.

"Someone has to right the wrongs you've caused, Verdandi seems disinclined to do it."

"Verdandi has no clue about what's going on with Loki."

"She writes his present." Urd argued, shaking her head.

"And I write Loki's future. Tell Frigga if you have to, the gods of Asgard will not stop my plans." She smirked, oddly reminiscent of the god of fire.

"Skuld this is madness!"

"No, Urd, this was a promise." Skuld said, turning her back to her sister.

"We do not focus on only one being. Least of all a god."

"Would you have me focus on a mortal then?"

"I would have you focused on the whole of existence instead of your pet project."

"And I would have it that you would leave my affairs alone." Skuld said, staring at Urd with bright black eyes. "But it is no matter, only one more tweak with Loki and I shall be done. Loki will have the ending he truly deserves."

"According to your view." Urd said, eyes narrowed.

"Yes, according to my view." Skuld agreed, stepping out of reach.

(~o~) 

Laesa sighed, stretching herself and making a grab for her tablet. She took a moment just staring at it, the design twirling slowly around itself, the egg, the humanoid, the Valkyrie helmet.

It was a good design. The fact all the info had taken around nine years to compile and put to use, however...

She smiled, feeling movement on her back and an arm curling around her waist. _'A little over ten years then.'_ She grinned, biting her lip. A little over ten years ago she had walked out on Stark, refusing his advances. Who would've thought.

"What are you thinking of?" Came a sleepy voice in her ear, a sleepy voice she had come to adore.

"About the first time we met." She muttered, mouth still full of cotton, or so it seemed.

"Sentimental." He yawned, drawing her close.

"Hypocrite." She countered, laughing. "Anything special you wanna do?" She asked, entering her e-mail and groaning.

"What?" Tony yawned again, drawing her close, setting Laesa between his legs and looking over her shoulder. "Oh, fuck no." He moaned.

"Oh yes, poor you, gonna get another award." She smirked, leaning back.

Ten years. They had come a long way in ten years... Stark Industries had entered the information market for good, with portables, desktops, smartphones, thinkpads and tablets. All in all Laesa was rather proud of making it happen, since they were, generally speaking, her creations.

She had moved into Stark tower, and had made Dexter available to everyone. If their information was available to her whims as well... No one needed to agree with the terms and conditions of Dexter. The devices were just as fine without Dexter. With him they were unbeatable.

The only thing was that Tony still manufactured weapons. She still hated that side of Stark Industries, and had become very, very glad she didn't work in that part. The dreams she sometimes had were enough to turn her off from weapon manufacturing for good.

"We've got around a month to prepare. It's gonna be in Vegas again, they always give awards in Vegas." Tony muttered, nuzzling Laesa's hair. "I wonder if they know that there are, in fact, other places on earth."

"They do, they think you like Vegas though."

"I do like Vegas."

"Besides alcohol and games, I mean."

"And women." Tony said, grinning. Then yelping as Laesa pinched his thigh.

"I'm still in the room, darling. You might want to review your concepts." She laughed a little, turning around and giving Tony a quick kiss, disregarding their morning breath. This wouldn't be the first time.

"Fine, then I don't like Vegas. And might I point out that while I might look, I don't touch." Tony mock-whined, rubbing his thigh. He had changed. He had changed a lot since they had become friends, even more so when they had become lovers. Sometimes Tony wondered if the title of 'Playboy' was even his anymore.

It had been around five or six years now that he had taken Laesa as a lover, four since he had last taken someone else to bed without her knowledge (their biggest fight yet) and three since she had become a main part of his house. They were friends and lovers, it was that simple. Companions, not boyfriend and girlfriend, _never that,_ Tony thought with a shiver.

They hated labels and every restriction that came with it. It was also a plus that both Pepper and Rhodey had lost the ongoing bet.

"Where are you, darling? I lost you for a moment." Laesa's voice pulled him out of unpleasant thoughts, and he couldn't help but kiss her again.

"Unpleasant thoughts." He said, shrugging at her look, "labels."

"Please tell me it was at least Black Label." She whined, nose scrunched up in mock disgust.

"Nope, something far more unpleasant."

"Red Label then?" She smirked, and Tony couldn't help but be pleased with how much she knew him, inside and out, with no need to talk about feelings. There was no need for masks, no need to be anything other than himself.

"It was a label." He half shrugged, beard scratching her shoulder. Soft skin under him, wrapping a core of steel. He loved it.

"Now, don't start. I'm gonna be late."

"I thought you had your own hours now, since the board had made you director." That was the deal. He couldn't be directly involved with Laesa's promotions, conflict o interest, _sentiment_ , getting in the way. But that was their only deal.

"True enough, I suppose." She smirked, her toes going up and down his leg, her smile coy and green eyes bright. He hugged her closer, lust stirring and hands beginning to wander. "Just a moment, darling."

She made a grab for her tablet, leaving it on the nightstand and ordering J.A.R.V.I.S. to let Pepper, Happy and Millie know they were gonna be late. Probably, maybe.

They were late.

(~o~) 

Laesa sighed, reclining in her seat and staring out of the window, at the sea of clouds under them. She was on the way to inspect Stark factories in South Africa, being Director of Research and Development of Stark Industries somehow equaled being responsible for production instead of the production guy being responsible for production.

Figures.

But it was a way to get her out of the US. And she needed it. She had been feeling restless for a few days now, ever since they had gotten the e-mail saying Tony was to be awarded something or other.

It was probably nerves, but still.

She snorted to herself looking around her. Tony's private jet. Luxurious with no pretence to be anything but, just like her Tony.

 _'So odd thinking of him as mine,'_ she thought with a blush, burrowing in the seat.

"Ms. Nafnlaus?" The flight attendant asked and Laesa took a moment to admire and wonder why in blazes did Tony need such cute flight attendants. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Just water for now, I'm nervous enough without adding alcohol to my system." Laesa sighed, closing her eyes, feeling her head starting to ache. "What are we having for lunch?

"There's a selection of sushi, sashimi and takoyaki or za'atar and minced meat sfihas and kibbehs with Syrian rice."

Laesa blinked at the odd selection, choosing what she knew over what she had no idea how to even pronounce. She watched the attendant leave and sighed again, an eighteen-hour flight with only the pilot and the two girls as company. She couldn't work during the flight, and there was nothing interesting on Netflix. Eighteen hours, no... Seventeen hours now with nothing to-

"Ms? There's a call for you."

"Yes? Okay, patch it through," she clicked her receiver, glancing out at the sea of clouds again. "Hey Millie."

 _"Laesa, Mr. Rogers wants your input on the prototype of the new phone, Mr. King came with yet_ another _idea for the tablet."_ Laesa chuckled, cutting her secretary.

"I take it you don't approve?"

 _"It's a stupid idea, he wants to make it bigger. Like, a quarter inch bigger. How is that gonna change anything? He just wants to see his po-"_

"All right, all right," Laesa cut her, snickering. "What else?"

_"Rudolph sends his apologies for sending you instead of making the trip himself, he sent us an e-mail with the protocols for the trip and what he was investigating. Neil says he might have uncovered something to deal with the copper problem, just a heads up too, says he's scheduling a meeting to catch up and discuss the solution."_

"Awesome, it's been a while since we could chat in peace, schedule him for lunch on the first Monday after I get back. If you can, Millie, tell Rudolph that this is the first and last time I do him a favour, anything and everything I find of use in South Africa is mine."

 _"Uh-huh, uh, okay, he's not gonna like that. Mr. Stane sent you the quarterly report, he's asking you to please look at it and see if you can't team up with Mr. Stark on the presentation of the Jericho in Afghanistan, make him look good for the soldiers or something."_

"I'll see if I can fit it in my schedule. They like to send me to hot places. They never send me to, like, Finland or wherever," Laesa whined, rubbing her temples. "And I'm not even part of the weapons division!"

 _"They do, poor boss-lady."_

"Millie I can hear your smirk, anything else?"

_"Mr. Stark wishes you a good flight, he asked you to call him when you get to the airport."_

"He can be thoughtful when he wants to." Laesa mused, to the laugh of her secretary. "I'll deal with Stark, you hang on until I get back there."

 _"He wants in your pants, you know that, don't you?"_ she sounded aggravated and Laesa wondered how she would react if she knew Stark had been in her pants, kinda regularly too.

"I know Millie,"

_"All right then, I reserve the right to say I told you so if he breaks your heart. Have a save flight boss."_

"I will, bye Millie." The dull line greeted her again and Laesa sighed. Sixteen and a half hours to go.

Her tablet vibrated, and she couldn't help but grin again, so she might have company besides the attendants.

_'Did you get my message?'_

_'I did, you're rather sweet today, aren't you?'_

_'I don't do sweet, you know that.'_

_'You do with me, don't argue.'_

_'I won't.'_

_'Smart.'_

_'I am a genius, sweetheart.'_

_'So not impressed... You're in the middle of a board meeting aren't you?'_

_'Not really, just listening to some people's stupid ass ideas.'_

_'It's not King, is it?'_

_'Nope, Andrews.'_

_'If he wants to build another bullet proof vest that can't withstand your missiles, tell him no.'_

_'Worrywart, you know nothing's gonna happen. You're not in the weapon division sweets.'_

_'I worry, specially when you do presentations for the army. Just because I'm not in the weapons vault doesn't mean I don't get it. The Jericho was my idea, wasn't it?'_

_'Point. But nothing's gonna happen, just another presentation, the army buys it, I go home.'_

_'I just heard Obie wants me to go with you.'_

_'How about... No?'_

_'Wasn't planning on it.'_

_'Good, what are you wearing?'_

_'Tony... We're not having sex by message.'_

_'Spoilsport, ruin my fun, why don't you?'_

_'I'm planning to Mr. Stark'_

_'Why am I imagining you talking to me in that voice?'_

_'Because you're rather smart, I take it. Anyway, my lunch's here. Take care.'_

_'You too darling.'_

She sighed, fighting the urge to send him ILY. Maybe it was time to let Tony know, maybe. She turned up her nose at the sight of sushi, it was only nerves. Only nerves.

Afterwards, as she heaved on the toilet, Laesa clung to the idea of nerves.

(~o~) 

It was a rather eventful trip. Laesa had always had a knack for finding stuff she wasn't supposed to, this trip was no different.

Child labor, horrendous hours with the paid salary and, what she gritted her teeth the most, sexual favours.

She had had a shouting match with the one responsible for the factory, before swiftly replacing him with one of her people.

The first thing she had done was contact Tony at the airport, and, afterwards, a video call with all the directors. She had known them in one way or another for years, so she knew which ones were saving face in front of college as and which ones weren't. She had never been so glad of her talents as she had been when she had seen Tony's stormy face...

_"So, that's the situation." Laesa sighed, rubbing her temples and feeling a migraine coming her way._

_"Any corse of action you recommend?" This came from Rudolph, the World-wide Production Director. He had been nervous, she could tell, though not with her._

_"I have a few ideas..."_

_"Tell us." Obadiah had said and Laesa fought the urge to narrow her eyes, he had been saving face._

_"Replace five of the management guys, promote some others and have a direct line between the one responsible and you Ruddy."_

_"Good start, anything else?"_

_"I was thinking of calling the cops on some guys, but I've no idea how effective that will be here, I'm not... I'm not..." she had sighed, her hands fisting her hair in a sign of nerves. "I don't know how effective it will be here."_

_"Effective enough," Tony had said, "I'll throw my political weight around a bit, you warn the police and whoever else you need to."_

_"I was thinking," Laesa begun, looking skyward so she wouldn't have to look at their faces. Nerves. "We could start charity work here."_

_"Charity work how?" Howard, from Marketing._

_"The Maria Stark Foundadion, start with the kids, go up to the mothers, teenager, you know, the whole deal."_

_"You feel guilty about the situation." Howard had said with an understanding smile, Tony's eyes had narrowed further._

_"Yes, in a way. According to some, this has been going on for years, we should have heard about it before now."_

_"Yes, we should have," Obadiah had said, understandingly, "but I'm glad we're finding out now instead of later. Avoiding disaster and all that."_

_"Do you feel comfortable remaining there to implant what we need, Laesa?" Ingrid, from Human Resources, one of the few females in the director board, and one of the snakes too, Laesa did like her, though._

_"Honestly? No. But I will remain until you can send someone,"_

_"That's my girl!" Ingrid had said with a vicious smile, Laesa couldn't have helped but grin in return._

_"How soon can I expect someone, though?"_

_"As soon as we figure out the right person to send, or hire." Tony had said, blatantly glaring at her now._

_"Don't send in a female." She had warned them, "they hardly respect me, I doubt they would respect another woman."_

_"What happened?"_

_"Screaming match with the one responsible for this mess. He had the gal to tell me I didn't understand how things worked. I told him he didn't understand how things worked for Stark Industries."_

_"That's my woman." Howard had said, and Laesa grinned._

Some more pleasantries and the conference had ended on a much lighter note. She hadn't talked with Tony since, and now, three days later, she was going home. She missed him. She truly, honestly did.

And she was scared as fuck to face him as she was.

Laesa was in the jet's bathroom, sitting on the toilet, a simple test sitting in front of her, each second seemingly like a minute.

She had been feeling odd since she had stepped on the plane, but now it was time to face the reality that it might no be nerves making her stomach churn in the mornings, it might not be pity throwing her emotions in a roller coaster, even thought she hoped it would be.

The seconds ticked by, but she remained with her head held high. There was no use hiding from this, it either would be truth and she was... Well. Or she was with some sort of sickness.

She couldn't even think the name. She wasn't fit for this. She hoped it was sickness. Anything but the other option. Laesa looked at the stripe again. Had the five minutes passed? No, not yet.

If she was, what would she tell Tony? They had been using protection, she had been on a pill, there was no way for her to... To...

"Ms? Are you all right?"

"Yes, yes... Just some stomach ache." It was even true. She ached to know how it had happened, if it had happened at all.

The beep alerted her. She had looked away to stare at the door as the girl had called and now... Now...

"Come on, Laesa. You're no coward. Nanu didn't raise you to be a coward... You're not a coward, you can look, you can look at a pregnancy test." She told herself, holding her hands together so she could barely feel them trembling.

"You can look, if you're having a baby you can keep it, even if Tony doesn't want it. Or you can abort it."

She took a deep breath, steeling herself for whatever result and looked... 

Pregnant.

Fuck.

She fished her phone from her pocket with trembling fingers, sending a message to Tony. She would be strong, she had to be strong, she needed to-

"I don't want a baby." She muttered to herself, her hands shaking.

_'We need to talk.'_

_'Famous last words, Stark Industries, or...?'_

_'About us.'_

_'Are you all right?'_

_'No'_

Laesa put the phone in her pocket again, ignoring it as it rang over and over again. She knew how it had happened, of course she did, but still. She was on the pill, they had protection, there was no way, no fucking way.

It was another half an hour before she could move, drag herself from the bathroom and try to blend in with the seat, the test firmly in the trash where it belonged. She grabbed her tablet, quickly sending a text to Millie. She needed to be sure.

_'Get me an hour at the clinic for as soon as I get back, I don't care who you have to wake up to do it.'_

She needed to be sure. There was no use saying anything or getting rid of anything before she was sure.

Ten hours to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting somewhere! I thought we would get to Iron Man this chapter, we didn't.


	6. Negative Variables

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I owe you all an apology, since this chapter is so late in coming! But honestly... all those feels, dude. The feels! It was hard to write it all...

**Tittle:** A Better Sort of Happiness

**Fandom:** Iron Man  & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

**Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

**Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

**Negative Variables**

For someone who easily missed appointments, Tony could be annoyingly punctual when Laesa didn't need him to be. He met her at the airport, him and Happy and Laesa could see Millie's dark head and Pepper's red hair in the car.

She couldn't help but sigh, irritated.

"Laesa?"

"Hm?" she greeted him with a kiss, on the cheek.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know," she lied, looking at him.

"Don't lie to me." Tony said, stepping in front of her, blocking her vision of anything not-Tony. "You know better than that."

She did, but she couldn't tell him the truth, not like this, while there was doubt in her mind.

"Laesa... I'm talking to you as your boss right now, is there anything you wanna tell me?" Tony asked, not touching.

"No, not about Stark Industries. Everything's going accordingly."

"And with your boyfriend?" He asked, eyebrows raised in question.

"I can't tell you." Laesa muttered, side-stepping Tony and heading for the car.

"Laesa!" Tony shouted after her, grabbing her arm and turning her around. "Talk to me. I'm worried, you got me worried!" He sighed, one hand holding on to her while the other ruffled his hair. "Tony Stark does not worry."

Laesa grinned weakly at him, leaning into his touch for a moment. "I can't tell you. Not right now, I... I want to confirm something first. Millie, Millie got me an appointment at a clinic today, Don’t… don’t make me say it, not now while I’m still unsure of things myself.”

“Laesa… come on,” Tony sighed tugging at her hands. “You don’t have AIDS, do you?”

“Oh gods,” Laesa whispered looking away and trying to wrench her hands away from Tony, “no, no. You’re the only one I’ve been sleeping with for the past six years, you know that.” She whispered looking away from Tony.

He gently turned her face to his, eyes softening at the sight of tears. “No, no… I hate to see you cry. Just tell me what you need, I’m a billionaire, I can get you whatever you want.”

Laesa snickered, closing her eyes, “Millie made me an appointment at a clinic. I need to go, please?”

"Right. Clinic. Okay... Yeah, okay, we can do that. Happy?" Tony said, turning to Happy with a pleading look. He turned back to Laesa, frowning, “are you sure it’s not AIDS?”

“Positive,” she smiled, teary eyed. They moved to the car without another word, Tony holding her hand and Laesa wondering if this would be the last time.

(~o~) 

“Pepper, what’s going on?” Millie asked the older PA as she stared at her boss and Stark Industries’ CEO cuddle on the way over to the car.

“Oh yes, you don’t know.” Pepper said, grimacing at Millie.

“Know what?”

“They’re together.” Pepper said, tilting her head in the direction of the couple, watching as Tony led her friend by the hand. Laesa looking fairly terrified. “Have been for at least three years, if not longer.”

“Lo-longer?” Millie stammered.

“They’re pretty good at keeping secrets when it suits them.” Pepper shrugged, smiling at the way Tony opened the door and let Laesa inside. Her friend’s face was serious, eyes red but Pepper knew how proud Laesa was, she knew the Director wouldn’t let her tears fall, not now in ‘public.’

She was surprised, however, when it was Tony who took the lead. Usually when it was her business, Laesa took over, Tony happy to let his lover lead. Not this time though.

“Ms. Aley?” Tony asked, drawing his lover near, hand idly caressing her arm in an offer of comfort, “Laesa told me you’ve made her an appointment at a clinic?”

“Yes, yes I did, Mr. Stark.” Millie said, giving Happy directions and going from office gossip to efficient in a way that left Tony arching an eyebrow and would normally make Laesa laugh.

It was a fast drive, there was no traffic, being almost 10pm, and they got there in under ten minutes.

Laesa hadn’t said a word to anyone.

Millie tried to pretend she wasn’t there, that she wasn’t watching her bosses cuddle and that she wasn’t privy of the biggest gossip ever (the rest of Stark Industries was silently betting on the Pepperony, Millie would enjoy dashing their hopes with the Torrid love affair of Laesa and Tony.) Pepper and Tony shared a look, both worried at the female engineer and the way she refused to accept comfort.

The trip to the clinic was tense and thick with silence, each of the four people contemplating what might have happened.

Tony Stark was far from stupid, however, he knew one of the worries would be Laesa's pregnancy. Thought it really was impossible, Laesa was on the pill and they had been using condoms all the time. All things considered it shouldn't even be a worry.

They got there to be met with the head doctor, fawning over his patient as Tony helped her out of the car. _'Leech,'_ he though, letting her take the lead as they stepped inside the doctor's office.

"What can I do for you this night?" The man, doctor something or other asked, Tony couldn't help but dislike the man.

"I, I need a test." Laesa muttered, Tony couldn't help but look at her. He had never seen Laesa stammer before, had never seen her so nervous. She swallowed, it felt like swallowing a rock. "A pregnancy test."

The man's eyebrows raised up to his hairline, looking at Laesa and then to Tony. Tony could see the man resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "All right, a blood test, right?"

"Yes."

Tony kept himself quiet, if Laesa feared the worst... What was he going to do? He wouldn't make a good father, quite the contrary. He blinked at Laesa, watching as she got up, back stiff and fists clenched. He could see her fighting the urge to look at him, they knew each other too well to miss mannerisms such as those.

He got up from the hard chair, grabbing her wrist. Gentle, still in shock by the request to do anything but comfort the woman he loved. And didn't that fucking scare him?

"Tony?" Laesa asked, looking at her lover with a mix of shock and hope. He just shook his head, leading her to the room and watching over her as the nurse pierced her arm with a needle and drew blood.

Now it was just waiting time. Up until that moment, Tony would swear that those were the worst moments of his life.

(~o~) 

"They've been together how long?" Millie asked, watching Laesa sitting on the couch and Tony with her, holding her fists.

"Honestly? The only ones who _do_ know are the two of them, I myself only found out about it three years ago, Happy found out around the same time." Pepper said, watching her friend and knowing it was time for Tony to comfort her, not for friends.

"But you suspect more?"

"Well, yes," Pepper said, as if it was obvious. "They both know how to keep secrets, better than anyone I've ever met. They could have been together since the beginning and people wouldn't know."

"And how did you find out?"

"Kinda hard to miss when you catch them kissing in Tony's workshop. I know I only found out because they wanted me to find out, they're devious like that" Pepper snorted, getting a _look_ from Tony but only shaking her head at him. They both knew this would be all over the gossip magazines, if not due to Millie, then due to the doctor, the nurse even the receptionist.

(~o~) 

"When did you begin to suspect?" Tony asked, refusing to look at Laesa.

"During the trip to Africa, I took a simple urine test on the plane." Laesa muttered, looking anywhere but at Tony.

"But... How? I mean, I know _how_ but we use condoms, you're on the pill, I've seen it! How could this have happened?"

"I don't know." Laesa muttered and they descended into silence again, waiting news from the doctor.

It was the longest hour and a half so far, and when it ended, there was no relief, only more tension. The doctor had quietly handed them the paper – referring to Laesa as Mrs. Stark and getting two panicked looks in return – and quickly left, sensing the incoming storm.

Laesa opened the envelope with trembling fingers, almost ripping the paper in two before she handed it to Tony. She didn’t look at his reaction, couldn’t look. She knew very well his instance on children. She knew what he would do, she had seen first hand what had happened to his previous lovers.

Paternity test, which came out negative 99 times out of a 100 and, in the odd percentage, followed by abortion. Laesa refused to believe that with her anything would be different, she was his longest lover yet, yes but overall…

“We should get home.” Tony said, voice cold – or so it seemed – and got up, paper clenched in his hand.

“We should.” Laesa agreed, also getting up and heading to the car.

“Laesa?” Pepper asked, coming forward, looking worriedly between her and Tony. They were both quiet, tense, on the edge of something.

“Not now, Pep, I just want to go home.”

“All right, should I get Happy?”

“Do so,” Tony said, tangling Laesa’s fingers with his and leading her outside, his foot tapping as he waited for Happy to bring forward the car, getting inside as soon as he could, waiting for the girls to enter as well.

Laesa entered, subdued, Pepper and Millie traded astonished looks before they entered too.

Another silent trip followed, Happy had left the girls at Stark Tower, with instructions to get a cab while Tony and Laesa headed for the top floors.

“So, what happened?” Tony asked, banging the door closed.

“We had sex, an accident happened and I’m pregnant.” Laesa grumbled, holding herself tight and refusing to look at Tony.

“An accident, figures.” Tony snorted, pouring himself a glass of whiskey before he threw himself on the couch.

“You know it wasn’t on purpose, we were careful, we’ve always been careful!”

“Not careful enough!” Tony grumbled, staring resolutely at the glass in his hand, not at the woman standing a few feet from him. “Are you going to keep it?”

“I don’t know.”

“My vote is no, don’t keep it. Give it up for adoption or get an abortion.” Tony shrugged.

“I wouldn’t. It’s either keep it, or abort it. I was put up for adoption, Tony, you know my history.”

“Doesn’t mean it would happen to him… her… whatever!” He sighed, leaning back against the couch, staring at the ceiling.

“I still wouldn’t.” Laesa shook her head, thinking. If she decided to keep it, it would be all on her. She knew Tony wouldn’t help at all. He wasn’t the father-type.

“I’m not the father type,” Tony snorted, drinking.

“And you think I’m ready to be a mother?”

“This is a mess!" He sighed, downing the rest of his drink.

"Don't you think I know that?" Laesa snapped, glaring at Tony, sometimes she really did hate him. She knew sometimes he hated her too. That was how they rolled.

"Please tell me you have a plan."

"Plan A is to abort it. Plan B is to keep it." Laesa shrugged, looking anywhere but at Tony, missing his annoyed look.

"I meant-" he started, only to be interrupted by Laesa.

"Would it really be so bad to have a kid?" She asked, looking down at her hands.

"Yes," Tony said, face closing off and staring into the distance, into his own childhood and the ridiculous number of nannies and tutors and how utterly alone he had felt. Did he really need to put a kid trough that? No, no he didn’t. It was better for the fetus to die than to have them as parents. He knew Laesa was just as messed up as he was. "We're inventors, not parents.”

“I know.”

“Do you need-?” He trailed off, gesticulating towards her belly, eyeing it in distrust.

“What? Help to abort the fetus? Money? I don’t know, Tony.” Laesa sighed, prodding gently at the lower part of her abdomen, there was nothing there to feel. Not yet, maybe not ever.

Tony nodded, knowing Laesa couldn’t see him. He felt like crying himself, they had been so, so careful! How could this have happened?! As much as he liked to brag, his semen wasn’t powerful enough to rip through condoms and fight off the pill. “Are you sure it’s…?”

“Yours? Yes.” She sighed, squeezing her abdomen as if the action could expel the being inside her. “I told you that, and you know I haven’t been sleeping with anyone else. As improbably as this whole mess is, it’s true.”

“I need a drink.” Tony sighed, heading straight to be bar and pouring another shot.

“Get me one?”

“You’re… you’re…” He gestured again, pointing vaguely at her mid-section.

“Yes… but I’m thinking of going with option A, so all in all…” she trailed off, staring at the ceiling as she leaned back on the couch, hand resting on her abdomen.

Tony stopped, just looking at her. The ice gently cracking in the glass, “are you sure?”

“Darling, I’d be an awful mother, you know that. You have issues, I have issues. Hell even J.A.R.V.I.S. and Dexter have issues! Can you imagine what it would be for a child to grow up around us?! Two nutters for parents and AIs as older brothers.” She snorted to herself, looking at her partner. “Gosh, I don’t know! I don’t know what to do!” She cried, closing her eyes to fight the tears.

“Hey, hey now!” Tony cried, forgetting his drink and going over to his lover’s side, kneeling in front of her and taking one of her hands on his own. Entwining their fingers together, feeling her tears fall and feeling himself at a loss.

How did one deal with such dilemmas? In the beginning, when accidents happened, his default setting was to make the girl get an abortion. He didn’t care about them, about their wishes, about their _pain_ , about the consequences of their actions. It was different when you cared.

And he did. He cared about Laesa, he cared about the impossible female in front of him, he cared… and that, aside from the pregnancy, was what scared him the most. He though he liked her as much as he liked Pepper, well enough to amuse him, to keep around, but not enough to depend on.

Looking at her tears, though, was like taking a sledgehammer to the stomach.

“Don’t cry, please don’t cry. I hate seeing you cry.” He whispered, gathering her in his arms, feeling salty tears dampen his shirt, her free hand grabbing hold of his shirt with no intention to let go. He had no such intentions either.

“I don’t know what to do!”

“We’ll figure it out, both of us, together. Just, please, stop crying?” He pleaded, kissing the dark hair on his shoulder, their fingers still entwined. “Come, we need rest. J.A.R.V.I.S. heat up the bed, forget the alarm for tomorrow, tell Pepper and Ms. Aley our day stuff is canceled, neither of us is in the right frame of mind to deal with those arseholes.”

“Sir,” the AI replied, “that might lead to consequences that-“

“Yeah, yeah. Let them think whatever they want.” He replied, shrugging and taking Laesa in his arms. He knew she could walk but still… 

"Tony?" Laesa asked, eyes wide, staring at him.

"It's alright, bed, sleep, we'll both have clearer heads in the morning." He whispered, carrying her to their bed.

"Don't leave." She commanded, Tony knew it wasn't a question, it was a command.

"Wouldn't dream of it." He sighed, sitting beside her.

"Tony?"

"Hm?"

"I can tell when you're lying." She sighed, turning her back to him, "if you want to go, then go. I won't hold you back, you know that."

"Not right now. I need to leave, yes, but not now. Right now you take precedence over everything," he sighed, laying beside her and drawing her close. "It has always been like that, you know that."

(~o~) 

Everyone in Asgard knew it was bad form to lose track of the King's pets. Worse, it was bad form to lose track of Slepnir.

"Have you found him yet?" One of the servants asked the other, they were roaming the forest, communicating by low-level tracking magic.

"Nope. You know how the beast behaves, he goes where he pleases, and he comes back when the king needs him."

"So we should stop looking?" the first man asked, staring pleadingly at the other.

"By the Norns! No! Do you wanna meet the Queen of Helheimr?!"

"Looking for the beast it is!" The man agreed with a sagged nod.

(~o~) 

Laesa woke up to a cold bed, tucked under the blankets and a note pinned on her arm with tape. She snorted, feeling her eyes puffy and too big on her face, she was thankful that Tony had canceled their schedules for today, she didn't think she could take Pepper or Millie or anyone down in Stark Tower.

It was one of those days she really needed Malibu, not New York.

She read the note, smiling slightly at the message, Tony really did know her, better than any of her friends, better than the nuns that had raised her. She liked to think she knew him just as well.

"Ma'am?" J.A.R.V.I.S. said, his slightly accented British voice calming to her like nothing else could. If anything he was an extension of Tony's brilliant mind and skills. If Tony couldn't be there, she could always count on J.A.R.V.I.S. to at least keep her company. And boy had she missed J.A.R.V.I.S. and Dexter during her time away from home. And wasn't that weird? Thinking of Stark Tower and their house in Malibu as... Well... Theirs? By all legal rights it belonged to Tony only and yet... And yet...

"Yes J.A.R.V.I.S.?"

"Sir has arranged for you to fly to Malibu in twenty minutes, Mr. Hogan will come and pick you up."

"Okay, thank you." She smiled slightly, getting up and grimacing. She hadn't forgotten they still needed to decide what to do about the thing growing inside her, but it was a decision to be made along with Tony. "My suitcases?"

"Already waiting in the car."

"Efficient as always, J.A.R.V.I.S."

"Thank you, ma'am." The AI replied,and Laesa did love how he could sound smug.

She got up, took a quick shower and headed to the car, ridding their private elevator down to the garage. She smiled at Happy's presence, alone, no photographers, no reporters, nothing to stress her.

"I heard you're taking me to Malibu?"

"Yes, orders from the boss." He smiled, taking her to the car. She, unlike Tony, preferred the less flashy cars, so no Lamborghinis or Ferraris for her, they took the black Mustang, she in the passenger's seat, Happy driving, she was happy to let him drive, no matter the bad pun.

The trip from NYC to Malibu was a rather fast one, Laesa with her headphones on the max volume, the sound of guitars and drums drifting through the almost empty plane, poking the lower part of her abdomen and wondering how a life could be there.

She looked at the window, watching the sun shining over green and yellow fields she wondered how could she ever be a good mother. She had no examples of what to do or not. She had no idea if she even could love another being, regardless of the fact she loved Tony, as scary as that though actually was. She sighed, hand dropping from her belly and head now leaning against the window. She smiled as Dolores O’Riordan’s voice came through the phones, closing her eyes…

Tony sighed, stopping his car and parking right there on the dessert road. What a mess, what a fucking _mess!_ Laesa was pregnant, he had been in shock yes, but now he couldn’t help but think of the consequences. What were they gonna do? He was all for getting rid of the fetus, however… what a _fucking mess!_

He gritted his teeth, getting out of the car and looking at the edge, the endless expanse of the ocean beneath the cliff. He stuck his hand in his pocket, getting out a cigarette, even though it had been a long time since he last had had a fag, he needed one to calm down now.

He lit it up, staring at the expanse before him.

He thought of the first time he and Laesa had kissed…

_’Understand the things I say, don’t turn away from me,’_

_They had been in the lab, on the third floor of R &D, both of them looking at what would eventually become the phone design for Dexter and, as usual as of late, they kept touching, they were always touching._

_“It’s too intrusive,” Tony had commented, his hand touching hers in what would become a familiar gesture years later._

_“Of course it is, it was designed to be.” Laesa had shrugged it off, her fingers entwining with his. They were side by side looking at the screen, much closer than coworkers would usually be._

_“Lawsuits? Remember those?”_

_“Of course but see, no one will be forced to use it. If they want the best phone ever they will, and we’ll know how our customers think and what they want, they can disable it at any time, however they will only have a basic smartphone when they do.”_

_“I do like the way you think,” he had smiled, turning to her, only to find a light blush on her face, Laesa diverting her eyes from him to the screen._

_“I thought you might,” she had whispered, turning to him once again, eyes bright, “I was also working on a prototype for an inner search field, for our use only, make it easier to look for things, like google.” She had smiled and Tony had leaned forward, sealing her lips with his, there was no hesitation when she had leaned forward too._

Laesa bit her lower lip, memories rushing forward to her, their first fight, the time they had decided not to put any sort of labels on their relationship, when they had that discussion about Stark Industries Rules…

_’Do you notice? Do you know? Do you see me? Do you see me? Does anyone care?’_

_“I heard you don’t hit on people who work for you, Tony.” She had started._

_“It’s true, it only leads to problems and that’s not something I want in the workplace.” He had agreed easily enough, tinkering with one toy or another._

_“So? Me?”_

_“We’re not dating, Laesa. We’re friends with benefits.” He smirked, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her lips._

_“True, but still! I thought it was a personal rule or something.” She inquired, leaning over his shoulder to see what he was tinkering with._

_“Every rule has exceptions, this one is no different. You’re too damn interesting for me not to go after you.” He had given her that bashful grin, Laesa had smirked and the project lay forgotten as they snogged. J.A.R.V.I.S. taking care of anyone who might approach them._

Tony took another drag, the moments passed him by as he looked at the ocean’s waves. He really did love her, didn’t he? They wouldn’t have shared moments if he didn’t, like that one time they had gotten distracted from work and ended up sort of singing Tom Jones’ _Burning Down the House_ , nor that more serious time he had woken up from a nightmare and things had gone downhill until she showed up.

_’Unhappiness where’s when I was young and we didn’t give a damn’_

_He had been on his couch, drinking his problems away and looking at old videos of himself with his parents, more than half-way drunk already, wondering how he got past childhood, when a decidedly warm, female body leaned into him. The act of putting his arm around her shoulders was automatic, and it should have been telling, but he was too buzzed to care._

_“Look at him, Mr. Howard Stark.” He had snorted, drinking from the bottle, “Mr. Perfect Genius. Nothing was ever good enough for him.” He had actually though ‘ _I wasn’t good enough for him,’_ but even so, while others wouldn’t understand, Laesa did, easily._

_“You’ve always been good enough, Tony. If not good for a dead man, than good enough for me.” She had smiled, gentle and not an ounce of pity in her gaze, he had pulled her closer, drinking the sight of her, her smell, her warmth, her wickedness. "You are more than worth it of his legacy and while you might choose to throw his name around in presentations to pretend you’re a family man, people are there for you and you alone. They’ll always be there for you.”_

_“Will you?”_

_“As long as you’ll have me.”_

_He had pretended to forget about their conversation the next day, but they both knew Tony hadn’t forgotten, hadn’t dismissed it and had taken Laesa’s admission as truth. She had never mentioned the subject again, though they did end up watching Howard’s videos again, both sober and sometimes drunk as well._

She prodded her flat belly again, Dolores' voice washing over her, thinking about life. Thinking of them playing videogames on Tony’s giant TV, of the first five million units of Dexter being activated, then playing with the search engine, laughing at other people’s lives and kinks. Though there had been a part which had left them sobering, had left them nauseous. The first time child-porn had come on the search engine.

She remembered the young girl’s face, she had been barely seven, crying to the phone’s camera, showing all her bruises, what the men had done to her. They had gladly hacked the asshole’s system and warned the police, making sure the pictures could not be erased at all from the phone.

It hadn’t been the last time, and they had devised a warning system to get in touch, anonymously, with the police.

_’Understand what I’ve become, it wasn’t my design,’_

_“Gosh, I hate that these people can use my tech to do this!” She ranted, going back and forth on Tony’s lab – it was really their lab now, wasn’t it?_

_“Our tech.” Tony corrected absent-mindedly, looking at the screen in disgust, writing the last codes on their warning system. He looked up at Laesa’s stormy face, anything to look away from the kid on the screen. “Not the time?”_

_“Not the time.” She agreed, biting her lip to keep from crying. “Is it ready?”_

_“Yeah, do you wanna send it?” He had asked, grabbing her hand._

_“No, we should do it anonymously, let it be a secret just for the two of us.” She thought about it, glancing at Tony, “Well, sort of. You’re sending to Rhodey?”_

_“Yes, he can get it to the right hands, anonymously.”_

_“Good. Let those assholes pay. Who does that do a kid?”_

They had gone on a cold period then, neither talking about what they had seen. They had needed to see each other’s pain and scars, had needed to break before they could be made again.

Tony thought about the being inside his lover. Was he ready to be a father? That would be a thousand times no. He knew Laesa wasn’t either. But would it really be so bad? He knew how a female body worked, knew how it would be when she started to eventually show.

He thought about her stomach growing, slowly at first, then steadily bigger. He thought about the baby and he hoped it would have Laesa’s startling green eyed.

He stopped, blinking and throwing the fag on the floor, stepping on it and heading to the car, leaving a $10 note on the girl’s guitar case. “Really now, what are you even doing here?” He sighed, stepping in the Lamborghini, driving to the airport.

He really was in this deep, wasn’t he?

Skuld watched him go with a smile, pocketing the $10 and making the guitar disappear. “Good luck, and good life Mr. Stark, you’re gonna need it.” She disappeared with a smile.

(~o~) 

Tony met her at the airport and Laesa could see the silver Lamborghini parked right there. _’Well,_ she thought, smiling, _it is Tony.’_

“What do you say we keep it?” He whispered, greeting her with a kiss on her lips, his hand automatically sliding to her waist.

“I thought we were going with plan A?” She asked, frowning in confusion. “We would be crazy parents, mad parents. Are you sure you wanna do it?”

“Nope, not sure at all.”

“Then why?”

“Because if anyone is supposed to be pregnant with my child, that someone is you, hands down.” He grinned, taking her hand and leading her to the car, missing the surprised look on Laesa’s face.

“Tony, I’d be a shitty parent. We have issues darling, big ass issues.”

“Doesn’t mean we couldn’t try.” He shrugged, getting behind the wheel.

“And if we suck at it, then what? We can’t give a five year old for adoption. And having a nanny? Do we really want to go that route?”

Tony kept quiet, thinking. Was he really ready for a kid? A baby?

“And you know how we get with a new project. Self-obsessed, we definitely don’t play well with others, we-“

“You’re right, we don’t. But we play really damn well together. And this is us, together, creating things. We can do it.”

“Tony…” Laesa started exasperated.

“Look, people with worse issues than us have children. Hell my father had a child, so did Obie’s parents, what’s to say we can’t do it?” He asked, driving out of the airport at high speed, taking the route to their home.

“You two are among those people with the most issues I’ve ever seen, Tony. Not to mention me! Self-obsessed? Abandonment issues? Mother-issues? And-”

“Intelligent, sexy, self-aware, beautiful, witty, want me to go on?”

“Flatterer.” Laesa smiled, blushing slightly at the praise.

“No, not really, no… now you’re supposed to be working on my self-esteem.”

“Oh your self-esteem needs work now?” She laughed.

“Of course it does, you seem to like beating it down.” He narrowed his eyes at her, mock scowling, and she smiled. The first true smile since she had gotten home and had that only been yesterday night? It seemed longer. It seemed like he hadn’t seen her smile in days.

“Oh fine, thou of wicked tongue!” She started, sighing as if put upon, “gorgeous, intelligent,”

“I’m a genius, baby.” He grinned and she snorted, hitting his arm.

“Shut up or I’ll stop!” She laughed, giving him a kiss. “Oh, where was I? Right… witty, extravagant, sexy, I love laughing with you.”

“Not at me? That’s good, that’s very good to know.”

“Well, that too.” She laughed again, looking at their house approaching.

“Ouch! You wound my feelings, honestly. Right in the feels!” He said, grinning at her.

“Oh stop it, you sound like a bad Internet meme.”

“My feelings, honey, stop hurting them.”

“Make me!” She challenged, leaning back on the seat.

“As soon as we get home I will, I will beat your arse… at Mario Kart!”

“Ha! As if you can… you might drive faster than me on the Lamborghini, but you’ll never, ever beat me at Mario Kart! Never!”

“You… oh you’re just asking for it. You sound like and evil genius, love.”

Laesa blinked at the nickname, it had been a long time since Tony had called her that, since they had started whatever this was. She looked at Tony, so was looking back at her with a soft look in his eyes. She couldn’t help but take his hand and gently squeeze it.

“Your evil genius, darling.”

“Of course you are, all mine.” He grinned as he parked right there on the dessert road leading to their house.

“Tony?” Laesa asked, looking at him.

“Come here, love.” He muttered, leaning back on his seat. Bemused, she settled on his lap, leaning back on the steering wheel. “Good, good. I think this is as good as any opportunity.”

“For what?”

_’To tell you how much I’m utterly in love with you,’_ he thought, shaking his head and dismissing it. There would be time to tell her that, later, much, much, much later. “I want you to keep the baby.”

“Tony…”

“I know, I know all your objections, but I think you’re gonna be a great mother. Keep it.” He said, hand on her belly, thumb caressing the part he knew covered her occupied womb.

“It’s ultimately my decision, isn’t it?”

“It is.” He said, tightening his grip on her. “Think about it?”

“I will.”

“Good, now really, come here.” He grinned at her, drawing her nearer, giving her a gentle kiss on her lips, drawing it out. Laesa hummed above him and Tony smiled again. His hand moved lower, to her bare legs.

“Anyone might see,” She objected, not really stopping his hand.

“We’re inside the property now, darling, no one’s gonna come.” He smirked.

They spent part of the noon in the car. It was 36 hours until the Apogee party.


	7. Divine Comedy: Inferno

**Tittle:** A Better Sort of Happiness

 **Fandom:** Iron Man  & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

 **Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

 **Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

**Divine Comedy: Inferno**

There was a very, very good reason Laesa did not work on the weapons vault. Tony knew it and Laesa, of course, knew it too. She was uncomfortably reminded of that when Obie Stane called them for a video conference, not even ten hours after they had gotten to Malibu.

“Really, Tony,” the man started, the paternal tone making her even more itchy. “In bed? A bit late for that, isn’t it?”

“Sorry Obie, bit of a late night.”

“And still with the bird in bed, that’s a new one.” He snorted, and Laesa fought the urge to curl in on herself. She had nothing to be ashamed off. Tony’s hand found her hip, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, about that actually… It’s Laesa.”

There was a noticeable pause, enough for Laesa to get her bearings and start to properly wake up, stretching her arms high above her head.

“Yes? What about her?”

“Don’t play the oblivious Obie, doesn't really suit you.” Tony sighed, annoyed.

“So, how long…?”

“Around four, five years,” Laesa muttered, getting up. She had one of Tony’s old band shirts on top, the Aerosmith design making it hard to trace her breats. “Hello Mr. Stane.”

“Laesa,” the man nodded, eyes focusing on Tony, “Is this why you two took the day off?”

“Not really, no. It’s because we needed to have a serious discussion about the future.” Tony shrugged, his arm easily going around Laesa’s shoulders and pulling her close.

“The future about...?" The man trailed off, clearly expecting an answer.

"I'm pregnant." Laesa shrugged, feigning unconcern. "Therefore we needed to talk." Simple, logical decisions. That's what she was known for.

"And...?"

"Tony left it up to me," she shrugged again, stretching and yawning, "I haven't decided what I'm gonna do." She finished with a yawn, rubbing her eyes with her fingers, trying to chase away the remnants of sleep.

"You two do realise this changes everything." It wasn't a question and neither of them took it as one.

"I have a plan," Tony said beside her, and Laesa felt the urge to facepalm as she looked at him and then at Obie.

"I'm afraid of your plans." She muttered, grinning at Obie. "I’ll take care of him, and of the little leech growing inside me.”

“Leech?”

“For now, yes.” She yawned, giving Tony a kiss on the cheek and getting up, ignoring Tony’s protests “gotta get ready for the day!” She went to the bathroom wearing only Tony’s old shirt, paddling through on bare feet and Tony was suddenly glad he didn’t allow J.A.R.V.I.S. to hook calls on the big screen.

“So, you and Laesa?” Obie asked, unimpressed.

“Yes. Before you ask yes, I do know my reputation and so does she and yes, this is pretty serious.”

“Tony…”

“This is serious, Obie. We haven’t… I haven’t…” Tony sighed, sitting up, dressed up in boxer shorts only and picking his phone, where Obadiah’s image was being transmitted, “look, this is serious, as serious as I could get with anyone.”

“What of Pepper?” The man asked, frowning.

“What about her?” Tony asked confused. “Pepper’s busy with my schedule after that award thingy today.”

“I… I see. I’ll let Laesa’s second in command know this then. And I shall let you two have your day out.” Obie smiled and Tony smiled back, that polite half-smile he showed when uncomfortable.

“J.A.R.V.I.S. already did that, but be my guest.” Tony shrugged, sitting on the side of the bed, looking at the bathroom door. “Are we ready for the party this evening?”

“Yes, yes… everything’s fine. Are you actually showing up?”

“Yes, I told you, I have plans! And I might need Pepper actually, thanks for reminding me Obie! Bye!” Tony hung up without another word, dialing Pepper’s number and rolling his eyes as his PA immediately asked after her friend. “Yes, she’s fine. We’re pretty well and the whole crisis thing is over. Well sort of.” He listened for a bit, grinning at Pepper’s voice took on the motherhen tone of voice Laesa was always going on about. “We’re fine Pepper, scout’s honour. Yes I do know I’ve never been a boy scout, thanks for reminding me. I need you to come in today.” He grinned, staring at the closed bathroom door. “Yes, yes I do remember I gave you the day off, but I need you for something. Call up my lawyers, about my will.”

His smiled softened as the door opened, Laesa coming out still wearing just Tony’s shirt. “Yes, yes I’m pretty sure.” He heard Pepper sigh on the other end and hung up again with a call of “thanks Pep.”

“Didn’t you give her the day off?” Laesa asked, stepping into Tony’s space, smiling as he hugged her middle, his goatee scratching her skin even under the shirt. She held onto his shoulders, smiling.

“I did, but I was reminded I just need a tiny little thing from her before today ends.” He muttered, bringing her closer and letting her fall on his lap, she did it with a laugh, holding on as he scooted a bit more to the middle of the bed.

“Do I need to know?”

“Nah, not yet, hopefully not ever!” He grinned, goatee scratching Laesa’s chin as he kissed her, going down her neck and behind her ear. He grinned as she started squirming trying to get away.

“Tony…!” She whined, pushing against him and laughing, trying to get away without any sort of success. “Tickling!”

“I know, what are you gonna do about it?” He grinned and she could hear the laughter in his voice as he mouthed her neck, arms holding her in place as he tickled her.

“No!” She whined again, laughing against her will as they fell onto the bed once again. J.A.R.V.I.S. turned the windows black again, putting a warning to any who came to disturb them, though none did, none but the two of them could hear the laughter.

(~o~)

_Tony Stark. Visionary. Genius. American Patriot. Even from an early age the son of legendary weapons developer Howard Stark quickly stole the spotlight with his brilliant and unique mind._

_At age four, he built his first circuit board._

_At age six, his first engine._

_And at 17, he graduated summa cum laude from MIT._

_Then, the passing of a titan._

_Howard Stark's lifelong friend and ally, Obadiah Stane, steps in to help fill the gap left by the legendary founder, until, at age 21, the prodigal son returns and is anointed the new CEO of Stark Industries._

_With the keys to the kingdom, Tony ushers in a new era for his father's legacy, creating smarter weapons, advanced robotics, satellite targeting._

_Today, Tony Stark has changed the face of the weapons industry by ensuring freedom and protecting America and her interests around the globe._

Laesa snorted as silently as she could sitting next to Tony as everyone clapped, clapping politely as well.

“And then he hired an engineer also from MIT who he would eventually become fuck buddies with.”

Tony grinned beside her, nodding at the people around him and ignoring Pepper’s warning look for them to behave. “I thought we were in a relationship!” He whispered, frowning in mock anger.

“I’ve no idea what you’re talking about Mr. Stark.” Laesa muttered, turning her nose up and away from Tony. Their banter was interrupted by another round of applause and Tony quickly stepped out of his seat, going to the stage and taking the award.

He lifted it up, as if toasting the crowd. “Thank you, Rhodey for that lovely introduction. Oh boy this is awkward, I didn't even prepare a speech! Well, thanks to the Army, the Navy and the Air Forces, I guess, for being wonderful customers!" He grinned at the laughter that scattered around him. "I think I should also thank my IT crew, seriously have you seen what they're doing? Look for news in March or April... Who else? Ms. Virginia Potts, Pep you're wonderful, you know that... Get yourself something nice for your birthday, on me." He pointed, winking at Pepper.

The cameras turned and Laesa just smiled as Pepper blushed. On the stage Tony continued, "Obie, can't forget Obie. My father figure after mum and dad passed away, he... Well there's no nice way to say this, he actually did finish raising me, so thank you!"

Obadiah Stane smiled, Laesa was uncomfortably reminded of those hyenas in the Lion King smiling, sly, dangerous... She shook her head as Obie spoke, "Trust me, Tony, it's a full time job! Someone has to do it"

Everyone laughed, but Laesa was still reminded of Hyenas and those little odious pigs from Angry Birds.

"I think I grew up very well..." Tony replied with a winning smile, more laughter around him, "speaking of growing up, I'd also like to thank Laesa, my Director of IT, we wouldn't be where we are without you darling." Laesa smiled at the flash of camera, green eyes bright and inviting.

"Speaking of Laesa," she stopped smiling, just staring at Tony. He wouldn't! "I think it would only be fair to announce it now..." Tony was speaking, Laesa was sure he was speaking, she could see his lips move, could feel people staring at her in either delight or shock. Her smile was frozen on her lips and she couldn't feel her legs anymore.

It was as if she was in a nightmare and as Tony raised his hand to greet her, to urge her to the stage to make her come out as his lover, the… the… she thought about running, about just turning away and running from the eyes on her, though about just walking out and-

“You can do it,” Pepper muttered, grabbing her hand and squeezing it until her ring bit into Laesa’s hand. “He’s a moron, but you can do it.” Laesa just smiled at her with a tiny nod, her hands shaking.

She walked to the stage feeling all eyes, all the cameras on her face, on her walk… She was never quite sure how she got to the stage without tripping, without making a fool out of herself but she did, her shaking hands easily slipping alongside Tony’s. She could feel Tony’s worried gaze on her as she squeezed his hand. Her hands were trembling, though her voice remained strong.

“Lovely introduction, darling.” She grinned and she knew to everyone else it would seem like a woman smiling, happy with her date. Tony would probably know what she was feeling, if not now then later on; he could feel her shaking hand, the odd cadence in her voice as she thanked everyone and made a joke or two with their relationship, the polite laugh that followed more than normal for these situations.

If Tony was a consumed showman, then so was she. If Tony was the ringmaster, then she was the fucking acrobat.

“… but this is not really my show, is it? I should let you all get back to your dinner, and let your award winner say a few more words.” She finished, still smiling, shrugging Tony’s hand off.

This was not a time to show weakness… it was a time to show at least an united from in front of allies and the press and they would eat her alive if she showed weakness.

She subtly shrugged Tony’s hand off hers, allowing him to kiss her and allowing him to run his hands on her arms, she even managed a smile for his benefit. A normal couple by every standard. Inside she was seething.

Now that the shock had worn off, she could feel bile rising up her throat, could feel her hands still shaking but this time with more than fear and shock, she could feel them shaking with hatred too.

Obadiah intercepted her on the way back, on the stage Tony continued to talk about his weapons division and the developments the army and the navy could look forward to. She was certain some generals were creaming themselves as Tony spoke.

“Laesa!” The man called, taking a hold of her arm and leading her away from the lights, “I had no idea you and Tony were coming out as a couple.”

“I had no idea we were either,” she replied, her smile just a tad side darker than before.

“Tony just dumped this on your lap then?”

“So to speak… I only found out when he mentioned my name at the end, when he actually announced things.” She couldn’t help but grimace.

“That’s our Tony.”

“Yeah. You know these things better than I do, Mr. Stane- “

“Obadiah, please.” He interrupted.

“Obadiah then,” she allowed with a nod and a tight-lipped smile, “would it be bad form to just get out and have some fresh air? I need it after all that.” She said waving her fingers in the direction of the meeting-slash-award.

“If you take longer than five minutes, yes… but go, I’ll make some excuses about your make up or something.”

“Thank you.” She replied, side stepping him and going to the little garden in the middle of the hotel, Tony's words ringing in her head, calling her his long time girlfriend, calling her _mother_ of all things. She didn't want to be a mother, she didn't want to have the responsibility of another life in her hands!

She clenched her fists, bitting her tongue to keep from crying in frustration. She didn't want it. She really didn't want it inside her, like a leech or a virus, sucking her dry if not now then later.

And Tony had just gone ahead and celebrated the creation of a child as if it was an occasion for celebration.

A mistake was never cause for celebration. And now she couldn't get rid of it, not now that Tony had gone ahead and announced they were pregnant.

"Laesa?" She sighed in relieve, it was Pepper.

"Where's Tony?" She asked, turning around.

"Finishing his speech, come on before you're missed."

Laesa nodded, taking a deep breath as she turned to Pepper freezing, unable to take another step.

“Laesa?”

“I don’t want the baby.” She blurted, looking at Pepper, closing her eyes, fists clenched. “I don’t want it! I can’t stand the idea of it growing inside me!” She muttered, loud enough so only Pepper could hear her.

“Then you should have been more careful.” Pepper sighed, looking at Laesa and fighting between business and pity. “Come, we need to go back.” She turned around, walking back to the party. She turned around again when she didn’t hear the click of Laesa’s heels following hers. Her friend was staring at her as if she had never seen Pepper before and the redhead couldn’t help but sigh.

“Look, I know it’s tough, and Tony’s being an ass for dropping this on your lap like that, but now is not the time to have a breakdown! So pull yourself together and go back there!”

“You’re right… I just…”

“Don’t think about it. Pretend he just asked you to marry him or something like that, whatever you need to think to get through tonight as if you’re still the same happy couple you were before that travel to Africa.”

“Just… just one moment.” Laesa sighed, closing her eyes and thinking; mentally wrapping all her emotions, all her memories of this night in a marble box, locking it behind a door leading to nowhere. She straightened, her fears and anger wrapped tight for the moment as she headed back to the party.

Pepper looked on, her own masks falling down and showing her pity. She walked behind her friend not touching her the way Pepper wanted to, she knew all touches would be refused. Including Tony’s which Laesa would just have to endure due to the announcement.

(~o~)

Tony could tell something was seriously off the moment he saw Laesa walking back to the party. She was in no way different, though Tony could swear he saw the poisonous aura around her. He didn’t actually believe that bullshit, but still!

He saw some of the women throwing his Laesa dirty looks and even envying looks. He would be sure to research them further, especially now that the game was out for everyone to scrutinize them.

He knew she would be mad, knew she would be pretty fucking pissed. But it was something he had to do if he wanted to protect her and the child from the vultures. He had made her part of his will, had made the child part of his will too regardless of the fact Laesa might abort it. He had left it open enough to allow the abortion though he was hoping she would choose against it.

He finished his speech, bowing to the mass of vultures and friends bellow as he walked back to their table, smiling at his girlfriend – and wouldn’t _that_ be in the news?! – sitting down beside her. He could feel the click of cameras and the flashes on them as he leaned towards her.

“I know you’re angry, but I had my reasons.” He muttered, just between the two of them.

“I give a rat’s arse about your reasons, Tony. I wanted to be consulted before you dropped this shit on my lap.” She muttered back, all smiles for the cameras, two consummate ringmasters.

Tony refrained from touching her the way he wanted, letting his hands roam on her back and on her arms or just pulling her close, he restrained himself to only holding hands and smiling, knowing that regardless of where they were Laesa would walk away if he crowded her too much.

“Just trust me in this, it was for the best.”

“Really, Tony? Really? Announcing an unwanted pregnancy was for the best?!” She hissed back, letting Tony order them water and wine as she pretended to look at the choices in food.

Tony just smiled charmingly at the waiter, ordering food and drinks and remaining quiet. It might be worse, but it would be better to let Laesa cool down before he said anything that would make her even more mad.

They spent the evening quiet between each other, his hand holding hers for brief periods of time, and both of them talking to people, getting news and ideas and promises. He thought he would have been able to hug her, to actually cuddle in public... Not so apparently. And that had been something he had wanted to try for some time now.

Things started to go downhill when they headed to the car, Laesa walking in a step or two before him, Happy giving him a deer-in-headlights look as she approached, all womanly fury and high heels. Their bodyguards keeping a respectful distance from both of them as Laesa marched, Tony following behind her with an easy step though dreading the moment they would be alone.

“Mr. Stark! Excuse me, Mr. Stark!” A female voice called from behind, Tony didn’t turn to look though Laesa did, her mask easily coming to place and Tony could feel his stomach drop. He knew that easy smile, had become acquaintances with it one or four times during their time together.

“Christine Everhart, Vanity Fair magazine, can I ask you a couple of questions?” The voice sounded determined if exasperated by their bodyguards.

He made eye contact with Happy, quickly turning around once Laesa greeted the reporter, he reached for her hand, loathing to play the happy couple while they had _Things To Talk About_.

“Hi,” he greeted and he knew he could count on his ringmistress to follow his lead. That was part of the reason they always worked well together.

“What can we do for you Ms. Everhart?” Laesa asked, all easy smiles.

“Just a couple of questions.” The blond repeated, and Tony would admit if he didn’t have Laesa, if he didn’t love her as much as he did – even if she was foaming at him – he would at least be tempted, the reporter was cute.

“Yeah, okay, go.”

“You’ve been called the Da Vinci of our time. What do you say to that?”

“Absolutely ridiculous, I don’t paint.” Laesa just snorted beside him, giving him that arch look she sometimes did during phone interviews.

“You’re being ridiculous!” She said, “don’t mind him, he’s being ridiculous. Though yes he can’t paint if his life depended on it.”

“I resent that.” He frowned, in mock anger.

“You also can’t cook if your life depended on it. Anyway, I think they all mean it with the design of inventions, darling, and in that one aspect I think you are like Da Vinci.” She gave him that arch look again, before snorting and rubbing her own chin, “though you do need to work on that beard a bit.”

“I thought you liked my beard.” He grinned, hand going to the small of Laesa’s back.

“I like your goatee, your beard scratches.” She frowned at him, touching the goatee.

“Yes,” the reporter interrupted, flustered. “What do you say to your other nickname ‘the merchant of death’?”

“That’s not bad,” Tony said, glancing at Laesa out of the corner of his eye to see her rolling her eyes, “let me guess, Berkley?”

“Brown, actually.” Ms. Brown said with a tight smile.

“Well, Ms. Brown, it’s an imperfect world, but it’s the only one we got,” he begun, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

“In other words,” Laesa interrupted, glancing at the reporter up and down. “The military funding you’re so afraid of? If it didn’t exist, you wouldn’t have that little recorder you have and the hidden camera I can see on your necklace. We wouldn’t have the Intelli-crops throughout the world keeping people from starvation, no medical breakthroughs.” Laesa shrugged, squeezing Tony’s hand. She hated that nickname, Merchant of Death.

The reporter’s smile turned sardonic, her eyes hooded. “Do you two ever lose an hour of sleep at night?”

“Sure we do, might even loose a few tonight.” Tony winked at the reporter, squeezing Laesa’s hand and bringing it to his lips, his eyes turning soft for a moment as he looked at her.

“That’s what got us in trouble, darling.” Laesa said, her stomach dropping and wishing for one second that the façade they were putting up was true. That she was actually glad to have a child and not considering abortion. No, she couldn’t actually get an abortion could she? Tony had made sure the press would be onto her if she aborted.

“I wouldn’t mind getting into more trouble with you.” Tony muttered, holding his lover close. “If you’ll excuse us Ms. Brown?” He didn’t wait for an answer, leading Laesa back to the car.

The door clicked softly as they entered, Happy driving away and to the airport and back to California, they made the journey in silence though the tension and frustration were palpable. Laesa kept her distance, looking through the window and the sea of dark clouds around them.

The drive to the tower was also made in silence, it was only as they got home that the silenced shattered.

(~o~)

“Have you found anything of his whereabouts?” Hella asked as Odin entered her domains, she leaned forward waiting for his answer.

“I have felt spikes of magic similar to his old signature,” Odin sighed, a chair growing behind him as to his will and he sat down, leaning back. He thought it odd and disheartening that it was only now as they had no familiar bond that they talked and got along. It said something about him that he didn’t like.

“Spikes?”

“Yes, emotional spikes as if he’s trying to get through, to communicate, but he’s unable to.”

“You think someone’s holding on to him?” Hella asked, blinking. Loki the god of Fire… to hold him still would take enormous effort, something few had.

“I do not know.” It irked him to say it, to admit weakness. “Those spikes come from everywhere, from Asgard, from Alfheimr, from here even… I cannot trace it.”

Hella frowned, thinking, she couldn’t feel it. That bond she had always had with Loki, she could not feel it. “I need to find him.” She whispered.

“We all do, we need Loki.” Odin whispered back, looking away. Frigga and Sigyn had not stopped mourning the unbirth of Loki, had not stopped looking for him through their means.

He couldn’t stop looking for him either but he could remember wasted opportunities as the boy ran after him, when he had been too busy with kingdom and realm to notice.

“Do you think this would have happened if I had ever given Loki more attention?” He asked, not expecting an answer.

“I do not know.” Hella replied. But they both knew she was lying.

(~o~)

She was sitting on the couch, refusing to look at Tony, Tony was in front of her, sitting on the wooden table where their tablets usually were.

“Listen,” Tony begun, touching Laesa’s hands.

“Please don’t touch me.”

“Laesa, please listen.” He pleaded, removing his hands. “I know you’re mad-“

“You know nothing!” She hissed, getting up. “Do you know what’s going to happen now?”

“You’ll be out as my significant other, out as the mother of my child. What’s so bad about that?”

“I wanted an abortion Tony. I wanted to get rid of it. I don’t want to be a mother!” she cried, pacing up and down on the living room. “I don’t want to be responsible for the life of another human being!” She took a deep breath, turning her back to him. “The moment you announced I was pregnant I felt like the world was turning on me. I know I’ll be judged for my every action… from the place I’m in to the unwanted pregnancy, everything, every action, every invention.”

“And you think I won’t?”

“I’m gonna be on the spotlight even more. I’m an unknown woman, you were born into it. You can bet your personal fortune that I’m gonna be known as the untalented gold-digger...”

“And we all know you’re not.”

“We all? Tony, there’s only you, me, Rhodey and Pepper. Who else?”

“Happy?” He tried, though he knew she might be on to something.

“Happy is your friend, not mine… I don’t think I even have Pepper to be honest.” She shook her head at the look she got, “girl-stuff.”

“What do you want then? What do you want me to do?” He asked, his mood souring.

“I don’t know! I know I didn’t want you to announce it, I know I just wanted to be your lover. Damn it!” She shouted, wanting to turn over and hit something, to make something bleed. “I wanted to be your lover, I didn’t want to be your significant other. We don’t fit that way we never have.”

“What the fuck…? Don’t you dare say that to me now! You could have said it when we begun, when I fucking invited you to live with me. So don’t go shouting that now, not after five freaking years you’ve been living here!”

“WE.DO.NOT.FIT.TOGETHER!” She shouted, turning to Tony, “we bring out the worst in each other, our ideas fit, our bodies fit, everything else?” She asked, throwing her hands up and walking up the stair. She didn’t want to be here.

“You’re mad… you’re fucking mad! We have always fit! Everything, even the rough edges,” he ran after her, grabbing her arm, “don’t you run away from me. What’s wrong with you? You’re not like that.”

“What’s wrong? You’re wrong… I don’t… I can’t see you right now, I feel like you’re making me have his… this monstrosity, this abnormity.” She stopped as he grabbed her arm, turning to face Tony. “Do you have any idea how much I hate you right now?” She hissed, leaning forward then wrenching her arm out of his hand, marching up the stairs.

Tony stared after her, wondering if he should just go after her, if he should disappear down to his workshop, if he should just go back in fucking time and stop his speech. Though he knew it was for the best.

It was for the best that everyone knew Laesa was his, it was for the best everyone knew about the child, it was for the best so no one would challenge his will.

But he couldn’t remain here. He couldn’t remain and look on asLaesa stormed the place, he just couldn’t stay here.

“J.A.R.V.I.S. tell me if anything changes, if… if she cools down. I’ll be in the workshop.”

“Certainly, sir.”

He snorted, taking a bottle of whisky with him. He needed to forget about everything right now, including the look of hate in Laesa’s eyes.

(~o~)

The music was blasting through the speakers, the bottle of whisky was half-empty (Tony counted that as victory) on the other side of the workshop as he tinkered with one of his cars, he didn’t turn as he listened to the heels going down the stairs. Laesa never wore heels while at home, she preferred running tennis and anyway, she had left sometime around 3am to god only knew where.

“Give me an exploded view.” He muttered, watching as the screen blasted through the engine view.

“The compression in cylinder three appears to be low.” J.A.R.V.I.S. replied.

“Log that.” He continued to tinker as Pepper entered the workshop, talking to someone he didn’t care about and didn’t really need to know. “Please don’t turn down my music.”

Pepper ignored him, “You are supposed to be halfway around the world right now.”

He ignored her, focusing on the car, Pepper continued anyway, her eyes taking in the workshop around her, the empty workshop around her. Usually Laesa would be there as well, tinkering right alongside Tony, unless she had a meeting or actually needed to be at work. Maybe something had happened in her own labs?

“Why are you trying to hustle me out of here?” He muttered, telling himself he was focusing on the engine and not how his stomach burned, how _he_ burned at the knowledge that there was someone missing.

“Your flight was scheduled to leave an hour and a half ago.”

“That’s funny, I thought with it being my plane and all, that it would just wait for me to get there.”

Pepper ignored him complaining. Tony always complained. Always. And it was always harder when Laesa wasn’t there to talk sense into him. “Tony I need to speak to you about a couple things before I get you out of the door.”

“Doesn’t it kind of defeat the whole purpose of having your own plane if it departs before you arrive?” He muttered, cleaning his hands on a rag and sitting on the white tire of the 1932 Ford.

Pepper sighed, just staring at him and fighting the urge to roll her eyes, “Larry called. He’s got another buyer for the Jackson Pollock in the wings. Do you want it, yes or no?”

“Is it a good representation of his spring period?”

Pepper just looked at him for a moment, fighting a laugh, “Ah… no. The Springs was actually the neighborhood in East Hampton where he lived and worked, not spring like the season.”

“So?”

“I think it’s a fair example… I think it’s incredibly overpriced.”

“I need it. Buy it. Store it.” Pepper smiled, hiding her laughter as Tony passed by in the other direction, she just followed, crossing another item from her list.

“o-kay. The MIT Commencement speech…

“Is in June,” Tony interrupted, “please don’t harangue me about stuff that’s way, way down...”

“They’re haranguing me, so I’m gonna say yes.

“Deflect it and absorb it, don’t transmit it back to me.”

“I need you to sign this before you get on the plane.” Pepper said, shuffling her papers until she got to the one she needed.

Tony just sighed. Scrabbling his name on the paper and handing it back to Pepper, “what happened yesterday between you and Laesa?”

“What do you mean?” Pepper asked, putting the papers in order. They had barely exchanged words during the party, she had only been there as Tony’s PA, Laesa needed to be there because she needed to be there.

“We were arguing, she mentioned you had exchanged words.” He frowned, putting his tools away.

“I told her she should’ve been more careful, that’s all.” Pepper shrugged, following Tony out of the workshop. “I’m gonna leave you alone now, can I trust you’re gonna get to the airport on your own?”

“Yeah, yeah… go. I need to get ready just, do me a favour and talk to Laesa, all right?”

“I will, we’re supposed to meet tonight anyway.”

“Really? What are you doing?”

“Girls night out.” At his expectant look Pepper elaborated “It’s my birthday.”

“It’s your birthday?”

“Yes.”

“I knew that, already?”

“Yes, isn’t that strange? It’s the same day as last year.” She grinned, wisps of red hair falling on her face.

“Get yourself something nice from me.”

“Laesa and I already did that, but you did promise me something yesterday night, I remember.”

“Do it again, go spend something, just don’t flatline my credit card.” He grinned, disregarding how forced it felt.

“All right… do I need to send Happy to get you to the airport?”

“No, I can-“

“I’m sending Happy.” Pepper interrupted.

(~o~)

Laesa woke with a start, the old clock ticking… she was in her old apartment, wearing a pair of sweat pants and an old and faded Depeche Mode shirt. She blinked, trying to burrow under the mountain of pillows, her mouth tasted like cheap tequila and sleep.

She likes this place, had kept it, bought it, even after moving in with Tony. She groaned, thinking of their fight… she had to apologize. She didn’t actually hate him, quite the contrary really.

The ticking came again, and Laesa finally noticed it wasn’t actually the clock but someone knocking insistently on the door.

“What?!” She shouted, holding her head in her hands, fucking hell it hurt! How much had she drank?

“Laesa open up, we need to talk!” A man shouted on the other side. Neil. She had completely forgotten about him. “Laesa!”

“I’m going!” She shouted back, staggering to her feet and to the door, snorting to herself. Tony hated Neil. He had the notion that he was trying to hit on her though nothing could be farther from the truth.

She opened the door with some effort, a part of her brain still drunk out of her mind, why hadn’t she stayed with Tony? Oh yeah, that big-ass fight. Damn. “What?”

“What the fuck happened? You’re a mess!” He asked as he walked inside, closing the door behind him. “No nevermind. You’re gonna tell me later but right now Stark Industries needs you for a collective statement. Stark’s gone MIA.”

That halted her thoughts, her stomach dropping though she mind was refusing to catch up to her. “What?”

“Stark, Tony Stark, your lover? He’s gone MIA.”

Laesa blinked again, staring at Neil, her brain still refusing to accept it. He couldn’t have. Tony would have alerted her before he went travelling, he always did before, no need to do things differently today.

“He can’t have… his flight…”

“Was today.” Neil finished for her, sitting her down. “Tony’s gone missing in Afghanistan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Parts of this were really taken from the Iron Man script, which I do not own. Also: Please don't kill me?


	8. Through The Fire And The Flames

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you know, the timeline for Laesa and Tony is slightly different.

**Tittle:** A Better Sort of Happiness

 **Fandom:** Iron Man  & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

 **Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

 **Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

 

**Through The Fire And The Flames**

Tony knew pain, he had never been a fan of it, personally, but he knew pain. It had never been like this however, encompassing, making him weak, making everything hurt. He moaned in pain, flashes coming through to him, pain, pain, pain, pain everywhere.

He remembered something being put over his mouth and he had sunk into the black abyss of unconsciousness. He had dreamt of her, of course he had dreamt of her, had dreamt of long legs, hugs, kisses… everything he couldn’t have anymore.

Tony was certain he was going to die, if not now then later. If not from the pain then from the bomb. He knew what it was, knew where it came from, knew what it could do. He had run freaking tests on that thing and what it could actually do and how far it would go!

He woke with a start, thirsty, cold, hungry, chest aching with more than heartache. He clenched his fists, feeling something moving in the back of his throat, something going down his nose...

He felt for his nose, feeling the cord inside of him. Huh, not a cord then, a feeding tube. Grimacing from the pain, Tony pulled the tube out, gasping as it stuck to his nose and ripping the bandage off.

It hurt to move, what had they done to him?

He spilled the water as he reached for it, his mouth dry, damn it it hurt to fucking move! He looked at the bald guy trimming his beard and ignoring him. Not one for bedside manner was he? Well Tony wasn’t feeling too accommodating himself.

He turned around, reaching for the water, feeling something tug at his chest.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” the guy muttered, looking into the mirror and glancing at Tony through the corner of his eyes. Yep, awful bedside manners. Tony leaned back, looking at the battery, following the cable... attached to him... He ripped the gauze on his chest, breathing hard and gods did that hurt!! He stared at the thing in his chest with wide eyes.

"What the hell did you do to me?" He asked, groaning.

 

(~o~)

She stared at her reflection, touching her makeup with a grimace. She hated makeup, hated those things in her face, though apparently it was needed. They had yet another conference, this time to give an official statement and not just give the news that Tony was missing.

Those had been the most painful two hours of her life, she had been hung over, still a bit drunk from the cheap tequila and with the knowledge that Tony was missing and they had departed in seriously bad terms, though it had been mostly, if not all of it, her fault, she was well aware of that.

“Laesa?” The male voiced asked, knocking on her door.

“I’m going… is the press here?”

“Yes, like eager little sharks looking for blood… I think it might be your blood.” The man said and Laesa had a clear view of him leaning against the door, playing with a pen instead of his usual cigar.

“Oh joy,” Laesa said, opening the door and glancing at Neil, the man was leaning against the wall, pants, white shirt and a black vest. If it wasn’t for his dirty blond hair and lack of goatee she could easily envision Tony in him. She missed her engineer far too much and it wasn’t even a day since Tony’s capture. “Who’s there? Besides me that is.”

“The usual crew… Ingrid, Howard, Rudolph, Obadiah, Paul, Stephen, Edward… everyone.” He looked at her, appreciating the suit and the shirt which screamed ‘engineer’ at everyone. “You look gorgeous… are you feeling all right?”

“Yeah… no, not really.” Laesa shook her head, walking ahead of Neil and towards the conference.

“Talk to me later? After everything is said and done?” He asked, touching her elbow as they walked.

“Meet me for lunch? Though I doubt I’ll have much in the matter of appetite.” She grimaced slightly, stepping on the podium near Ingrid and Rudolph. She tried to disregard the cameras as Edward walked on the stage with Paul and things started rolling.

First Obadiah, about Tony officially going missing – as if that wasn’t true the first time they hastily announced it! – and the efforts to find him, how they would all keep Stark Industries rolling and going until Tony was back.

There wasn’t much need about personal affairs until one of the reporters – a man in his mid-forties apparently – started to ask after Tony’s will.

“Until such a time Mr. Stark is officially declared dead his will must not be opened.”

“But there have been rumours that Stark’s will was changed on the same day of his disappearance.” The reporter insisted and Laesa could feel her fingers stiff, wanting to clench her hand. She resisted the urge, however.

“As you have just said, those are rumours and we will not confirm nor deny it.” Obadiah said, face pinched, “I have faith that Tony will come back, so there will be no need to talk about such affairs”

“What about Mr. Stark’s announcement that his girlfriend, Ms. Nafertiti was pregnant?”

Laesa just stared at the man for a moment, her lips twitching in amusement as she stepped forward, looking at the man and arching an eyebrow at him, she was well aware the cameras were working and pictures were being taken but she couldn’t really help the snort that followed.

“It’s Nafnlaus actually,” she said, smiling a little, “and yes I am pregnant with Tony’s child.” She endured the flashes on her face, endured the shouted questions – as if the real announcement hadn’t been made two days previously.

“One at a time please, let’s keep this short, this is not about me or the child though I can see why you are all curious about it.” She sighed, feeling Ingrid’s strong perfume beside her. Opportunist snake, Laesa felt the urge to smile at her.

“When did you two meet?”

“When did you found out you were pregnant?”

“What was Mr. Stark’s take on your pregnancy?”

“Was it planned?”

“How long have you two been seeing each other?”

“Why keep the relationship a secret for so long?”

“How much of the company do you own? Do you participate on the decisions?”

“Your take over as the head of IT in Stark Industries is fairly recent, does it have any relation to your own relationship with Stark?”

“Let me answer that last one,” Ingrid stepped forward, her sly smile dangerous to any who had yet to meet her, though Laesa could feel the woman’s nails on her arm as a sign of affection. It was endearingly creepy.

“Ms. Nafnlaus was promoted by the board of directors due to her feats, not due to her prowess in bed. She was promoted because she is the best, not only on this job but all others as we have been directly involved since she and Mr. Stark started their relationship. I can attest to it that any and all privileges are on merit alone, not due to favouritism.”

Laesa smiled gratefully at Ingrid, knowing that she now owned the woman a favour. Ingrid was sly like that.

“As to the other questions, I own nothing of the company, I’m not interested in stocks nor do I know how to play with them, our relationship was secret to all but close friends and key members of the board, until two days ago when Tony announced it at the Apogee award, along with my pregnancy, and no there has never been an abortion before, nor any hidden children.”

She stepped back, refusing any other questions. Millie would have to schedule an interview now, something to let her air out what was going on, but not at the moment. Maybe that magazine Tony liked to give interviews to, or maybe not.

 

(~o~)

“Do you think I can finally shout on tumblr about how my OTP is cannon now?” Neil said, already sitting on a table as she arrived. She knew there would be at least one paparazzi nearby, so she had put on some of her best clothes, though not high heels…

High heels were the devil’s work and she refused to use it unless people paid her for it.

“I think so? What are you even talking about?” She asked, seating down and taking the menu from the waiter with a muttered ‘thanks.’

“My One True Pairing. You and Stark.” They looked at each other before breaking down in giggles. Neil stopped first, mock-glaring at her, “my god Laesa! Don’t you read fanfiction?”

“I do, but not RPF! And what are you doing reading fanfiction about me?!”

“I have this need to know about your sex life with Stark but you won’t tell me anything!”

“That’s because it’s not any of your business… and anyway, people get that all wrong, what’s our ship called anyway, and who are you at war with?”

“You’re called RoyalIT and we’re currently at war with Pepperony. Now I can finally throw on their faces that RoyalIT is cannon while Pepperony isn’t.” The man grinned, triumphant while Laesa just snickered to herself, hiding her face in her hands. “So, can I post it?” He asked again, watching his friend laugh again, relieved that she still could.

“Oh yes, fine… go for it. And what’s Pepperony?” She asked once she was in control again.

“That’s the name for Pepper and Tony’s ship. People think she’s a controlling bitch and I’ve no idea why.” He sighed, crossing his arms and looking at Laesa. “Ready to order?”

“Yep… get me some tuna sashimi, temakizushi and iced tea.” She replied, leaning back on the chair. She could really do with some Jack Daniels, but drinking now would be a Bad Idea.

“Yes, your highness. Of course, your highness.” Neil sighed, exasperated.

“Good minion.” Laesa smirked, letting her friend order them food, her stomach dropping at the sight of it anyway, she couldn’t help but think of Tony and all the times they had ordered sushi and spent the night watching movies on Netflix.

“Hey now, don’t make that face, people are gonna think you’re sad… look even the paparazzi are making sad faces now. Come on, you gotta stop thinking about Stark, you’re about to eat, I don't know about you, but Stark always ruins my mood.” He cajoled her, looking at Laesa in worry, he had never seen her like this, with no appetite, run down, worried… she usually worried about her own tech, about the next phone and the next tablet. She had never worried about people – not that he knew about anyway – had never needed to. “I know you miss him, but you gotta stop for a moment, you know Stark’s resourceful, you know he’s gonna come back if not for Stark Industries then definitely for you.”

“I know but… it’s my fault he’s missing.”

“No it’s not. You two had a fight before he left, that doesn’t make it your fault.” He nodded as the waiter bought their food, ignoring it for the moment and leaning forward on his elbow, “stop it, or I’ll put the sign for ‘warning: Emotional pregnant female ahead’ don’t think I won’t!’

Laesa laughed again, shaking her head, she glanced to her right, seeing a flash of green at the edge of her vision, looking around questioningly.

“What is it?” Neil asked, sitting back.

“Did you see anything?”

“Nope, you’re imagining things, Lie.”

 

(~o~)

_Laesa felt herself heavy, her middle round and uncomfortable. The thing inside her kicking with too many legs to be natural..._

_“I didn’t want it either when the babe was first conceived.” Someone murmured behind her. It was a part of herself, she knew that, a part that was usually hidden, usually silent, usually so deep inside herself that she had no control over. Except for those odd feelings she got sometimes, those odd intuitions telling her to go forward or not, telling her to take a turn, telling her to take her chances._

_“You didn’t?” there was no need to ask who that was, Laesa knew, even though she couldn’t give it a name._

_“I did not. Unlike yours, though, I was raped by the father, not made love to with the tenderness Stark shows you.”_

_“Should I say I’m sorry?” Laesa asked, she couldn’t think of Tony now._

_“It was lifetimes ago, it was someone else’s fault it happened, and they paid for it.” She could feel the shrug at her back, though she knew if she turned there would be no one there._

_“Did you accept it?”_

_“No, no I didn’t. I gave it away at the end.”_

_“Did you regret it?”_

_“Never… I’ve hated this thing from the moment of its conception until I saw it die.”_

_“Harsh.”_

_“I didn’t want it.” It shrugged again, and Laesa could feel the tiny little feet kicking her, one feet on her kidney, another on her stomach, another under her right ribs, another pressing against her bladder, another pressing against the bladder bones… too many legs._

_“I don’t want it.” She whispered to herself, hands closing in a tight fist as she refused to touch the tainted skin._

_“Are you sure? You might come to love the little leech, your conception was unlike mine, you have no bad memories of it before it was born.”_

_She could feel the legs – too many legs – moving inside herself in awkward and sly movements, could feel the knees – too many to count – moving and rubbing against the inside of her belly._

_“I don’t want it.” She repeated._

_It sighed behind her, resigned yet understanding, entwining her fingers with its hot and cool ones. “My own experiences have tainted yours. I should say I’m sorry –“_

_“But you’re not.” Laesa laughed, she gave the same excuse sometimes. “Can you take it off?”_

_“Usually I could, but someone else is already doing the job for us.” She could hear the smile on the other’s voice, a voice neither feminine nor manly._

_“What?” Laesa startled, blink_

ing awake. The dark greeted her, a different kind of dark. The dark of NYC at night, not the total and complete absence of light of her dream; her fists were still clenched beside her, on either side of her pregnant stomach. She was still flat but she could feel it growing and growing inside her.

She sat up with a groan, reaching for the other pillow only to remember there was no Tony beside her, not anymore, maybe not ev-

She shook her head, no. Tony was very much alive, she could feel it, if not see it. She grabbed his pillow anyway, hugging it close as she got up, wearing only a pair of panties, stopping before the wall-to-ceiling windows, looking out at NYC, at the cabs – as tiny as a child’s toy from that height – lazily driving through the street.

“J.A.R.V.I.S. what time is it?”

“It’s two-fifty-three in the morning, Miss, weather is slowly changing and the news currently predict a drop in temperature along with rain.”

“All right,” she yawned, looking down. She wanted to be there, down there, walking around the street with Tony as they had talked once or twice, she wanted to have him hugging her from behind as they watched the couples walk hand in hand, she wanted him to be asleep beside her! Damn it all!!

She rubbed her neck, burring her face on Tony's pillow, it had only been fifteen days so far and yet... She sighed, she had never expected to need him as much as she did. No, not need. She wasn't dependant on him, she had never been dependant on him, but they fit. They fit together in such a way that made her better than she would be by herself.

She shook her head, she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep again, not after that dream, not after feeling those flutterings in her stomach.

Damn it all!

"J.A.R.V.I.S.? Set up the lab, I won't be able to sleep anymore, might as well work." She sighed, throwing the pillow on the bed and grabbing one of her old shirts, the same Aerosmith one from the last time they were in bed together.

 _'Stop being sentimental, it's not like he's never coming back!'_ She scolded herself, frowning.

She headed to the lab, not caring about her state of undress, there was no one to see her there, no one besides herself, two AI's and a bunch of Tony's robots. Not exactly the most talkative bunch...

 

(~o~)

It was humbling - not to mention upsetting, outrageous, insane, and murder-rage inducing - the fact those people had his weapons, had his whole arsenal. When he first saw it, Tony begun to think of a list of possible culprits that could be responsible for selling his weapons to someone other than the army and related allies. It wasn't a very big list.

He had understood some of the spoken language up to a point. Regardless of how fluent he might be in Farsi - or Dari as they called it - he had never been interested in learning the local dialects and the minor languages used in the Middle East. Farsi had been enough.

It wasn't. Well it was and it wasn't. He could understand well enough when those people spoke in Dari, but all other used dialects? He had really needed Yinsen then. Though not as much as the translator-slash-scientist-slash-doctor and his employers (and he used the term loosely) might think.

Out of all the things Tony Stark was proud of about himself the top three consisted of: his apparent ability to keep a long-term relationship, his brain power and his fortune - both personal and otherwise. The first was a joint effort with his other half, the second a mix of willpower, genetics and bull-headed determination, the third a consequence of number two.

He had understood what the big bearded Taliban had said. Had understood the request, though he choose to let the man, Yinsen, translate for him. Over the weeks he had been in captivity he had learned more than he had let on.

 _'We want you to build the Jericho,'_ they had said, as if it had been that simple, as if he would be able to...

No scratch that, of course he would be able to turn that pile of junk into a missile, and it wouldn't be as hard as they probably expected. He was a genius baby, a fucking, genuine, bull headed, big-headed genius.

He tapped the miniature reactor on his chest; it left a bitter taste in his mouth to use it, to have to trust someone other than his team (only no, it was not really trust, was it?) to have to work for the people who kept him in captivity like he was cheap labor. Only no, he didn’t receive anything, did he? Oh no… only his life that was promised by a liar. He knew one or two liars – not to mention himself – well enough to know when someone was lying through their teeth.

It burned him to have to show Yinsen the plans he made. Yinsen was a good guy, Tony had no doubt about it, but he was also the one translating back and forth between those creepers and himself. Tony trusted him as far as he trusted the new members of his team; none at all until they proved themselves.

He laid back on his makeshift bed, staring at the dark, thinking back on the days before the trice-damned presentation; thinking of thin arms wrapping around him from behind even as he felt soft flesh on his back. He sighed, rubbing his eyes with thumb and pointer finger.

Yinsen was walking away from him, leaving Tony on the bed, the newly-installed arc reactor glowing bright blue on his chest. He had felt the shrapnel moving inside him, tearing tissue and entering muscle before the arc reactor was placed.

He stood still for a moment, just breathing.

“You still haven’t told me where you’re from.” He croaked, throat dry.

“I’m from a small town called Gulmira. It’s actually a nice place,” the man smiled, and Tony found himself returning it.

“Got a family?” He asked, turning his face away.

“Yes! And I will see them when I leave here. And you, Stark?”

“Yes, I think I do… but she kinda hates me at the moment so who knows?” Tony shrugged, getting up.

 

(~o~)

"You know, I never thought I would ever see the inside of Tony Stark's bedroom... It's not as grand as I thought it would be!" Laesa snorted at Neil, while Pepper rolled her eyes, she had, unfortunately, seen the inside Tony's bedroom one to many times during his time as a playboy.

"Oh do shut up! I wanna see Lie's interview!" Pepper said, exasperated, she was laying on her stomach, shoes discarded on the side, skirt riding a bit high, Neil looked, he couldn't help but look.

"Stop it. You're here for support, not to ogle Pepper's legs.

"I like to ogle her legs... She has beautiful legs. By the way, did I tell you what I found?" The blond asked, moving to sit on the floor in front of the bed, leaning against it.

"Not another fanfic!" Pepper groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

"There is nothing wrong with fanfiction! And anyway, I found femslash." He grinned, turning his head to look at Pepper.

"Pepper and I?" Laesa asked, sitting up a bit, she was laying on the bed, eyes closed, she had been on the fucking interview, she had talked to the damn reporter, she knew what he was bound to say and do and how the damned interview was to be edited. "What are we called?"

Neil stared at her for a moment, smirking, "Spice Girls."

"Oh come on! You fucker!" Laesa laughed, laying back down and closing her eyes, sighing and rubbing her right side. She had been feeling pains on that side for a month or so, the doctor said they were usual pains, that her body was getting used to the baby, that's he should feel a lack of appetite to accompany the pains but it was important to try and eat. And to keep the consumption of tuna to a minimum, since the one filtering the mercury would be the baby, not her body.

Laesa had agreed, if only to get the asshole to shut up.

They had taken blood tests shortly after the press conference and her mercury levels had come up slightly altered, a week of eating tuna would do that to anyone. She had also been having cravings for medium rare meat, and hamburgers.

"Shhh it's starting!" Pepper hissed and they descended into silence, the noise of the TV making her drowsy...

_She could feel the flutterings in her stomach again, could feel those too many feet crawling under he skin. She couldn't move, she was laying on the bed, unable to move as the thing moved inside her._

_"Mummy?"_

_Oh God, please no!_

_"Mummy? It's time to get out. Can I get out?"_

_Oh heavens no, it was too soon! It was way too soon! She didn't want it! She wasn't ready, she didn't want it to come out! No, no, no, no!_

_"Mummy I'm coming out, all right?"_

_Her stomach started to inflate, bubbling like hot water, growing like fermented bread, she could see the mark of feet and hands all around her middle, could see the deformed toes, could see them pushing and pushing against her. She felt like screaming, like tearing at her stomach until the leech inside her got out, out OUT!!!_

_"Mummy, aren't you going to help me?"_

_No. Gods above, please no... She lifted her head, looking at her distended stomach, looking as those fingers, all those hands, all those feet blended together into something thick._

_She could see it tearing her stomach, a thick, hairy black claw opening her from the inside out, ripping flesh and muscle and Laesa screamed, as loud as she could, screamed until all she knew was the sound and the pain..._

She woke with a shout, eyes wide, her lower _flat_ abdomen in pain, a pool of blood around her, Pepper's hand on her face, Neil's voice distant, talking to someone.

"It's gonna be alright, Lie, we're going to the hospital, it's gonna be alright." Pepper tried to reason with her, but Laesa knew it was all over, no more baby facade and she couldn't decide if she was heartbroken or relieved.

 

(~o~)

_"This late afternoon, Ms. Laesa Nafnlaus, girlfriend of the missing billionaire Tony Stark, was admitted to the hospital due to miscarriage, Ms. Nafnlaus' condition is unknown."_

_"Tony Stark was declared missing in action in Afghanistan about a month ago after a demonstration for the army, some believe him to be dead, while others hold on to hope, those numbers are fewer and fewer as days go by without news about Mr. Stark's whereabouts."_

He turned off the TV, sighing.


	9. Ring of Fire

**Tittle:** A Better Sort of Happiness

 **Fandom:** Iron Man  & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

 **Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

 **Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

**Ring of Fire**

"I'm so sorry Slepnir... I honestly did not know Loki's feelings would transfer. But we have time to try again. Compared to us, the mortals really don’t last very long." The woman smiled, petting the eight-legged horse behind his ears, she was floating beside the majestic horse, smiling sadly to herself.

She had known Loki had hated his firstborn, of course she did, everyone knew Loki loathed his firstborn and loathed Odin as well for what he had done, but to allow that travesty to happen in his new reality? Skuld smiled sadly again, whipping a tear from her eye. "I'm sorry, Slepnir... If I had known she would channel Loki's feelings, I wouldn't have put you as the firstborn. I wouldn't have put you in touch with Loki again."

The horse bristled, his mane whipping angrily from side-to-side, as two of his legs kicked the ground; Skuld sighed, touching his flank. "I know, I know you want to meet them... And I know it's not your fault. But Loki is different, he won't just accept it, the bastard has to fight it every step of the way. I'm sorry Slepnir, I'm so sorry you had to go through that..." Skuld half-hugged the horse, feeling its breath on her neck, the goddess who wrote the future she might be, but she could not control free will.

“You turned the Ragnarok into a mortal? A mortal?!” Came the slightly hysterical laugh from beyond the clearing then Urd walked in, her dark hair falling on her shoulders, the white roots making her look much older.

“Aye,” Skuld agreed with a careless shrug, silently descending to the ground, “what are you doing eavesdropping?”

“I came looking for you. I never thought to find you here, with the beast.” She shrugged carelessly, looking briefly at Slepnir.

“And now that you have, now that you know, what are you doing to do?”

“Right your wrongs.” Urd sighed, disapproval dripping from her voice and addressing her as if Skuld was a naughty child. “This has been going on for far too long, it’s time things follow their natural course.”

“It’s far too late for that and you know it.” Skuld countered, crossing her arms across her chest, “I’ve changed too much, _Loki_ has changed too much… Loki is no longer the bringer of Ragnarok.” Skuld smiled, leaning against Slepnir.

“We’ll see about that…”

“We will.” Skuld agreed, smirking. She had changed far too much for things to go back to their normal course, Laesa herself had changed; and, to her surprise, so had Tony Stark. The mortal was no longer the famous lonely playboy from other lifetimes no… Despite self-esteem issues, Tony Stark was much more content, happy and optimistic than any of his previous incarnations. It had been a stroke of genius to pair them up!

“I think I’m gonna have to give you back to the Allfather,” Skuld sighed, dropping to the ground in front of the horse, watching in delight as Slepnir bent forward, eating the grass in front of her.

(~o~)

Laesa opened her eyes, her surroundings were dark and her bed was too hard… it wasn’t their room she was in. She rubbed her eyes with a hand, yawning and feeling something pull in her hand, it wasn’t heavy just… there… just something… she touched it with her right hand, feeling the thin tube and the bandage. A hospital then, but why?

She blinked, trying to wake up properly. The chair beside her was occupied, the man slouching in it, arms crossed, she blinked again, her vision still hazy, "Tony?"

"Took you long enough." The man said, his voice as foggy and as far away as her eyes. She could barely focus on anything in the room, everything was hazy...

"Tony?" She repeated, trying to focus on him.

"Yeah... Why did you abort the baby?" He asked, voice sharp in her ears, commanding.

"I didn't." She tried to whisper, fighting to keep her eyes open.

"You did." Tony hissed, standing up. "You killed him! You didn't want him, you never did!" Tony shouted, standing up, pacing from one end of the room to the other. To Laesa he still seemed to shimmer slightly at the edges when he paced.

Laesa tried to deny the accusations, tried to say it wasn't true... But it was, wasn't it? She has never wanted the baby. She had never wanted to be pregnant in the first place. She closed her eyes, listening to Tony calling her names. She did deserve it, didn't she? She deserved to be called whatever he wanted to call her. The words drifted through her, baby-killer, murderer, slut…

Laesa tried to laugh it off, her voice croaking, rasping. _‘You’re not Tony’_ she tried to say, whatever it was, whoever they were, they were not Tony… Her lover could be many things but he had never shamed a woman just because, though he did take offence to any who shamed Stark Industries. She closed her eyes, feeling her eyes water as the male voice washed over her. The man sounded like the news, sounded like those awful afternoon shows in which there was nothing but gossip. But the man wasn’t Tony, she was sure of it.

Her Tony was dead.

(~o~)

They were sitting in the dark, the light coming from a barely-lit window and from the fire Tony was sitting in front of, wrapped in a thin blanket as Yinsen paced beside him, they had just come from the parade the terrorists had made of his weapons. He wasn’t sure if he was pissed at them for having it or at himself for being so blind! A transaction of that size couldn’t be hidden.

No, it could. He could think of at least two ways to do it but still, he should have noticed, he should have _known_ something was amiss in his own fucking company!

“Look,” Yinsen begun, crouching next to him, “what you just saw… that is your legacy, Stark; your life’s work, in the hands of those murderers! Is that how you want to go out?”

Tony’s jaw clenched, he wanted to deny it, to shout that no, that wasn’t his legacy! His legacy was somewhere else, his legacy was the company Laesa would inherit upon his death, his legacy was the embryo growing inside her womb, his legacy was what they had built together. He knew Laesa didn’t want the baby but even so… even if she aborted, even then his legacy wasn’t the weapons, not really, it was something only they knew about. His legacy was U and DUM-E and J.A.R.V.I.S. and Laesa herself… he wouldn’t dream of leaving her to someone else - just the thought of it made him grind his teeth - but she would carry the name Stark, and wasn’t that the biggest legacy he could leave?

“Is this the last act of defiance of the great Tony Stark, or are you going to do something about it?”

Tony’s jaw unclenched as he deflated internally, as comprehension finally pushed through the walls he had built around his mind. He wasn’t going to leave, he had known that of course but now… these mountains would be his grave.

“Why should I do anything? They’re going to kill me, you, either way. And if they don’t I’ll probably be dead in a week.”

“Well then, this is a very important week for you, isn’t it?”

Tony just stared ahead, thinking… what was he willing to do to get back? Get back home, get back at those fuckers for murdering people with his weapons. What would it take? What was he willing to sacrifice?

A whole freaking lot, that’s what.

(~o~)

“How are you?” Pepper asked as she entered the New York penthouse at the top of Stark Tower where Laesa was residing in. The doctors had told her to rest, to sleep, to do everything but what she was doing.

“Peachy.” She replied, changing channels again, Court TV then Rachel Ray then old episodes of Disney, Tyra Banks, The View… wait…

“The doctors told you not to stress so much.” Pepper sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as she sat beside her friend.

“It’s either this or work, and they have forbidden work.” Laesa grumbled, she had yet to look at Pepper.

“It’s stress either way. Have you thought of reading a book?”

“Yes… turns out it only works when there’s something interesting to actually read. As much as I adore Physics and Integrated circuits, there’s only so much I can read before it gets boring.”

_‘Billionaire’s girlfriend, Ms. Laesa Nafnlaus, has left the hospital this week according to ok! Magazine, which is not saying much, sources close to her tell us she didn’t want the baby.’_

_‘Really? Oh my god! So many women wanting to have babies, and she..!’_

_‘I know! And not only that, there’s an investigation going on about her involvement in Tony Stark’s disappearance. News travels fast, and it’s apparent that Ms. Nafnlaus had something to do with Stark going MIA.’_

_‘You don’t say! One source close to Stark told us he changed his will to add her and the dead baby!’_

_‘Do you think it can be contested?’_

_‘A Stark-will? I doubt it.’_

Laesa blinked at the TV, turning to Pepper for the first time. “That can’t be true, do you think?”

“Not about your involvement, obviously... but about the will I’m really not sure.”

“He wouldn’t do it, would he?” Laesa asked, frowning, he voice rather doubtful.

“You tell me,” Pepper sighed, shifting close to Laesa on the bed as she grabbed the remote – ignoring Laesa’s protests – and changed the channel. It was another talk show and Pepper quickly turned off the TV, at least she now knew what everyone would be talking about when she ran back to the office.

“I think he would, the bastard.” She intoned without any real heat, just a sort of apathy that worried Pepper.

“You really think so?”

“Yes… do you think they’ll declare him dead, Pepper?”

“Why? It’s been only two months. Usually it takes years for a person to be declared dead. And you sound like you don’t believe he’s alive, Lie.” Pepper inquired quietly.

“I don’t. He’s taking too long to come back, Pep.” Laesa said, laying on her side, turning her back to her friend, Tony was taking too long, so that meant it was either a triumphant arrival or Tony really was dead somewhere in Afghanistan. If that was so Laesa wouldn’t hesitate to blow the trice-damned country out of the fucking map!

“He is… but you know how much of a diva Tony is, he’s waiting for the proper moment to come back.” Pepper said, going for a rather light voice, looking at Laesa’s back in worry. She knew Laesa was slipping, everyone with a pair of working eyes could see her slipping into depression and Pepper had no idea if it was the miscarriage or Tony.

(~o~)

“You know, we might be more productive if you include me in the planning process.” Yinsen said, a hint of a question as Tony worked on dismantling the missile, Tony agreed absent-mindedly, applying force where force was due.

The bad thing about the man, aside from the fact Tony did not trust him, was that he was always hovering. Always. He hovered as Tony had taken out the Palladium from his missiles, he hovered as Tony stood by the fire, he hovered as he dismantled the missiles for other parts of his master plan.

It was annoying.

True it was the guy’s job as his one and only translator, but even so…

The days were mixing together and Tony pushed himself to his limits. He needed to get home, needed to be not there, needed to… he had no clue, but he missed home. He missed the penthouse, the mansion in Malibu, he missed Pepper, Happy, Rhodey, he missed _her_. Tony avoided mentioning her as much as possible, that didn’t keep the leaders from mentioning her either in passing or not.

He knew he had to grid his teeth and take it, take Raza mentioning Laesa, calling her his wife and how they were looking out for her, so she wouldn’t get hurt.

_“I know you wanna get home, Stark.” Yinsen translated at Raza spoke, Tony’s eyes on the other man, keeping himself from narrowing his eyes or clenching his jaw. “I know you think what we’re doing is terrorism, I know you might think of escaping, but please remember your wife.”_

_Tony had blinked in honest confusion, then frowning as the implications made itself known. Either the guy was seriously confusing which women he dealt with or…_

_“I believe her name is Ms. Laesa Nafnlaus?”_

_Tony didn’t correct him, rather he just stared at the guy, eyebrow raised even as his heart beat faster. If those bastards had hurt Laesa, Tony would hurt them, he would find a way to hurt them. Not the exoskeleton he was planning on building to get out but actual hurt, physically hurting them. He couldn’t help but narrow his eyes at the man._

_“Just know that we’ll be keeping an eye on her for you. Out of consideration.” Raza had finished, walking out of the cave with his head held high, the gunmen flaking to his side. Yinsen had looked at Tony, a question in his eyes and Tony just shook his head. She was his other half and that was not something they need to know. Neither Yinsen nor the Ten Rings needed to know what she really meant to him._

It was honestly odd how much he thought of her theses days or, rather, nights. It wasn’t even the sex he thought about, but their conversations, the way they used to laugh at B-movies, it was the heated discussions over technology and chemicals used on Stark Industries’ weapons, it was how they had worked on a hoverboard after watching Back to the Future II and Tony had turned it into part of the prototype for the autonomous underwater vehicle while Laesa converted it into the first waterproof phone, it was how they could just work on the ’32 Ford Roadster, or rather, he worked as she just watched the readings, taking notes. It was how they exchanged notes on math formula, they were always right, of course, but the point wasn’t the result of the formula, but the hidden language between them.

It wasn’t even the kisses. It was how they held hands, how Tony liked touching the small of her back, how her fingers felt on his scalp, how they looked at each other while the rest of the world continued around them. How she got his stupid science-jokes, how he could make her laugh with just a poke of a finger in her ribs, it was how they could remain in complete and utter silence while working, but still be in sync with each other.

It was the thought that kept him up at night, working diligently while Yinsen slept, the thought of never seeing her again, it was how he felt every day slipping through his fingers, it was how he thought of his lover getting tired of waiting for him and going for someone else. He felt almost certain she wouldn’t, she wasn’t like that, but after their last fight only the patron saint of engineering knew.

He was just finishing the last blueprint when Yinsen woke up. He watched from the corner of his eye as the man went through his morning routine (was it even morning? Tony couldn’t tell) before he stopped at the table Tony was diligently working on.

“Have you spent the whole night up?”

“Probably,” Tony replied with a careless shrug, putting the finishing touches on the blueprint. He wanted proper paper, he wanted proper pens and tools but he made do with what he had. He’s Tony fucking Stark and he’s resourceful like that. “I couldn’t sleep, I suffer from insomnia sometimes.”

“I see, and what are you working on? That doesn’t look like a Jericho missile.” A hint of question again, but even though Tony should be used to it now, he still found it annoying.

“This… this is out ticket out of here.”

“What is it?”

“Flatten them out and look.” Tony said, flattening all the pages until the image of the exoskeleton came in focus. A bit fucking suit of armour to be worn by him, to be attached to the arc reactor in his chest; if he died so be it, but he would take them out with him.

“Oh, impressive.” Yinsen said, smiling at the picture. It was impressive, Tony knew it was. It would be even more if he had the same tools he had at home, but he didn’t so he couldn’t make it the way he wanted to make it. This would have to do.

The next few weeks were spent in relative silence, surrounded by raw (or not so raw) material, metal from the dismantled missiles, fuel, hydrogen, nails, welding torch, tea, lots and lots of tea (whoever said Tony never drank tea was wrong), cables, wires, motor oil, engines and the blueprints around them, different pieces with different parts, Tony meticulously destroyed everything as the parts were completed.

Tony was welding, the dark goggles protecting his eyesight when the shout came from beyond his cell, the little visor-thingy opening with a clang before the door opened. Tony was quick to take position, again, hands above his head and facing forward as he watched the men walk in with his weapons. It still made his heart ache to see those people with things he had projected for his biggest client. No, not the terrorists.

Raza walked in looking at Yinsen and then at him. Tony faced him head on, it wasn’t due a to lack of fear – he was terrified – it was a matter of pride.

“Relax,” the man ordered, the friendly tone at odds with the weapons hanging on his hip. Raza kept playing with the ring on his right hand.

The bald man came closer, looking at the blue glow under Tony’s shirt, grabbing the neck of the rather loose shirt with a finger and pushing it down. His arc reactor exposed. Tony cursed himself for using something so easily breached. He wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

“The bow and arrow,” Raza begun, looking at the reactor on his chest. Tony couldn’t help but think how easy it would be to pull it off, “once was the pinnacle of weapons technology.” He let go of the shirt, moving to the assembled pieces on the table, fingering a wire. Tony couldn’t help but look at him and follow his movements; if Raza figured it out… it would be all over.

Instead he continued speaking “It allowed the great Genghis Khan to rule from the Pacific to the Ukraine. An empire twice the size of Alexander the Great and four times the size of the Roman Empire.”

Tony could feel cold sweat going down his back even as he stared at Raza, knowing there was nothing for the man to see. “But today,” he continued and Tony could feel his hate for the man rising, “whoever holds the latest Stark weapons rules these lands.” He glanced away, at Yinsen, fidgeting nervously on the other side.

“And soon, it will be my turn.” He stepped away from the blueprints, standing face-to-face with Tony.

 _”Why have you failed me?”_ The man asked, looking directly at Tony but Tony knew it was Yinsen he was talking to.

 _”We’re working.”_ Yinsen said, and Tony was part relieved part apprehensive that he couldn’t join in. No one here knew he could speak Farsi. _”Diligently.”_

_“I let you live. This is how you repay me?”_

_“It’s very complex.”_ Yinsen said, apologising and Tony felt the stirring of guilt in his stomach. _”He’s trying very hard.”_

 _“On his knees.”_ Raza ordered and the gunmen immediately stepped forward, pushing and pulling the man so he was on his knees in front of Raza, each man holding him by the elbows, keeping him on the ground.

 _”You think I’m a fool?_ Raza asked, his back to his prisoners. The sound of a zipper opening _”I’ll get the truth.”_

_“We’re both working.”_

_“Open his mouth.”_ Raza said, turning to them again, a blazing red piece of coal held in an iron tong.

“What does he want?” Tony asked, looking wide-eyed at the men.

 _“You think I’m a fool?”_ Raza asked, grabbing Yinsen’s head and pulling him. The men holding him down pushing him forward, towards Raza; Tony stared wide-eyed at them as they put his head on the anvil.

_”What’s going on? Tell me the truth.”_

_“He’s building your Jericho.”_ Tony kept from breathing in relief, just staring. He was sure Yinsen would tell the truth to the bald guy and that would be it. He couldn’t help but be relieved when he lied.

“What do you want? A delivery date?” Tony asked them, stepping forward, only to have all the weapons turned to him with a shout from the gunmen. Tony tried to not pay any attention, those men needed him.

He kept from rolling his eyes by sheer force of will, instead raising his arms the tiniest bit in surrender, looking from the gunmen to Raza and to Yinsen.

“I need him.” He said, pretending not to see Yinsen swallowing as he looked at the red coal. “Good assistant.”

He saw Yinsen breath shakily as Raza put the coal right next to his head, releasing the tongs. Raza turned to him instead, “You have till tomorrow to assemble my missile.”

Well now, their time had just gotten a whole lot shorter, hadn’t it?

(~o~)

_She was dreaming, she was sure of it. There was no way Tony was there, with her, just sitting on their living room, as dirty as if he had been rolling on the mud_ 'or living in a cave for three months' _her mind whispered._

_"Tony?"_

_"You do know I love you, don't you, Lie?" Tony said, his voice rough. The beard unshaved, not with the usual outline she had come to like, had come to appreciate._

_"You never said it before, though yes, I know. You do know I love you too, right?" She whispered, all was silent around them, dark as a night without city lights, there was only the faint lamp-light around them, showing the surrounding, there was no sounds besides their whispers and Laesa didn't want to break that._

_"I know," Tony whispered, kneeling in front of her, holding her hands and placing a kiss on each. "I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow, but I wanted say goodbye, just in case." He gave her that rogue grin, the sadness lingering in his eyes._

_"Just in case of what, Tony?" She asked, hands trembling in anxiety. Tony held them tighter, entwining their fingers, his tanned hand a contrast to her peach skin._

_"My last chance is tomorrow, my time is over Lie. It's either survive or be killed." There was nothing else to say but the truth, rash though it might be._

_"Please come back to me?" She tried to keep the pleading tone out, staring at Tony through half-lidded eyes._

_"I'll try? That's the best I can promise right now." He tried to smile, his dry, dirty hand gripping hers tightly, Laesa didn't mind, it was their first contact in months._

_"I trust you to do your best." She tried to smile at him, though from his face it failed. "Go get them elskan." She grinned at Tony's confused face, "darling."_

_"How do you pronounce it?" He asked frowning._

_"Elskan," Laesa repeated, smiling. Tony just smiled sadly at her, his dirty hand gripping her neck, thumb caressing the skin, bringing their foreheads together._

_"I just needed to say goodbye before tomorrow happens." He bit his lip, uncharacteristically nervous, Laesa understood, she didn't want to let go either._

_"I'll see you later." She said instead, trying to keep the trembling out of her voice. She moved forward, looking curiously at the blue glow under Tony’s shirt..._

She woke with a start, almost falling out of the couch, looking for signs of Tony. Of course there were none. She had dreamt it only, it was only a dream, only a dream and Tony was still in Afghanistan…

She rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand, grimacing at feeling them so dry, as if she had touched dried mud. She blinked at her hands, turning her palms up and down. There was nothing unusual, but she was sure she had used lotion after her shower… 

Swallowing past the lump in her throat, Laesa dug her phone from the couch, frantically searching for a name before putting the phone on her ear, ignoring the trace of tears, hastily putting on a pair of shorts as she walked out of the penthouse, where reception was marginally better.

“Rhodey? It’s me, Laesa. Yes, yes I know it’s 4am and it’s even earlier there. You’re not with someone over there, are you? So what if you’re on duty, that has never stopped… I know you’re not Tony, Jesus man the last time Tony did that was around five years ago! And I promised to castrate him if he ever did it again.” She grinned to herself, feeling much better after that one dream, “of course it worked. Anyway… yes I’m calling about Tony.” She sighed as she heard Rhodey trying to talk her out without even listening to her, how rude!

She leaned the phone on her shoulder, holding it down as she buttoned up one of Tony’s shirts, looking over the city. “That’s not what I want, trust me it isn’t. I want you to search for Tony again, today. I know you’re in Afghanistan Rhodey. Of course I know, you’re my friend, why wouldn’t I keep tabs on you? Anyway, I want you to search for Tony again, near the mountains, please.”

She finished buttoning the red shirt, turning her back to the city and leaning on the rail, listening as the cars passed by on the street, her friend silent. “Rhodey?” She called, feeling her heart skip a beat. She couldn’t physically go to Tony, but she could send someone.

Laesa breathed a sigh of relief as James replied, her shoulders easing the tension “yes, near the mountains, the desert around it… just do one more search, please? Bring him home?” She pleaded, looking at the illuminated living room, she remembered Tony sitting on that very same couch as she walked around, busy building something or other.

“Bring him home.”

(~o~)

He spent the night working, lost in daydreams as he welded metal and assembled flames, he had no idea if this would be enough, though he hoped. He spent the night with his mind far away, in NYC where he knew Laesa would be, where else would she be?

He had no idea if he would survive, though he still hoped, and the best he could do was think on how his goodbyes would be, how he would tell the woman he loved her more than anything, how he would say farewell and see you soon instead of goodbye. They had never really said goodbye.

He shivered, thinking of their talks, feeling the phantom touch of cold fingers in his sweat-slick hand.

“Stark?” Yinsen interrupted, shaking Tony out of his own world.

“Do you happen to know what elskan means?” He asked, glancing at the man out of the corner of his eye.

“No, what language is that?”

“I don’t know, just a word I picked up somewhere." He shrugged, what a daydream! His brain was even inventing words!

They started to assemble the armour in the early hours of the day, first the underclothes, so he wouldn't be in direct contact with the metal, the body of the suit was next, and Tony took a moment to get used to the weight.

"Okay, can you move?" Yinsen asked, staring at the assembled armour. Tony could, but only just. He clenched his hands, feeling the armour contract at his movements, he had a bitter moment when he couldn't help but compare what he had now with what he could do if he has his workshop.

Regardless of his feelings, this needed to work, if it didn't he would take down at least half of these fuckers!

"Okay, say it again." Yinsen asked as they adjusted the armour.

"Forty-one steps straight ahead. Then sixteen steps, that's for the door. Fork right, thirty-three steps, turn right." Tony repeated the path they had made, rushed, voice low.

The bangs at the door and the people shouting their names made his heart beat faster, time was up. It was up even before he asked Yinsen to reply.

"Say something." He whispered, though there was no one to listen but the two of them. "Say something back to him."

"They're speaking Hungarian! I-I don't..."

"Then speak Hungarian!"

"Ok, ok I know..."

"What do you know?" Tony asked, staring.

Yinsen shouted something he couldn't understand, repeating when the terrorists didn't stop banging on the locked door. Tony glanced at the explosive by the door, burning to see one of them try and get it to open, burning to see the fire engulf at least some of them, burning to buy them time they didn’t really have.

Raza wasn’t supposed to see the live feed until two hours from now, who would’ve known that terrorists woke up early?

The terrorists shouted, in Hungarian apparently since neither he nor Yinsen could understand. Honestly, how did these people expect to communicate if they literally couldn’t understand each other! At least the leader spoke English.

He couldn’t help the smile of bitter satisfaction as they opened the door, feeling the ground shake and the flames roar behind him, it was only years and years of training that kept him from smirking.

“How’d that work?” He asked, looking at Yinsen.

“Oh my goodness, it worked all right.” Yinsen said, but while Tony was beginning to feel the stirring of adrenaline, Yinsen just looked on in shock.

“That’s what I do.” Tony said, shrugging under the suit.

“Let me finish this.”

“Ini-Initialize the power sequence.” Tony ordered, knowing they were on borrowed time. It would be a matter of seconds before the rest of the hoard showed up.

“Okay…”

“Now!”

“Tell me, tell me.” Yinsen said, Tony could see him fighting the shock as he typed.

“Function-eleven, tell me when you see a progress bar." He breathed, waiting. "It should be up right now.” Tony rolled his eyes, they were under pressure and apparently Yinsen didn’t work under pressure. “Talk to me, tell me when you see it.”

“I have it!”

“Press Control-I”

“’I’ got it.”

“’I,’ ‘enter,’” he said, barely keeping himself from ordering Yinsen like he would one of his interns, “‘I’ and ‘enter’” he repeated, “come here and button me up.”

They could hear the men coming as Yinsen approached with that nervous look on his face, muttering agreements, “every other hex-bolt.”

“They’re coming.”

“Nothing pretty, just get it done. Just get it done.” He repeated, looking at the man, doing his best to calm him down.

“They’re coming!” Yinsen repeated, eyes wide. Tony could see him slowly panicking, slowly loosing his mind to the adrenaline.

“Make sure the checkpoints are clear before you follow me out, okay?” He said, looking over at Yinsen.

“We need more time.” Yinsen muttered and it was the first time since they had assembled the armour that he looked calm and collected. Fuck. “Hey, I’m gonna buy you some time.”

Tony shook his head as much as he could, looking at the doctor “Stick to the plan!” he shouted again as Yinsen ran away, behind him, to the point of the explosion “Yinsen!” he shouted after him, still unable to move due to the armour but listening the random shots, he knew those weren’t the terrorists. He looked back to the screen willing the progress bar to go faster, to load it faster! Damn it all! 

It seemed to take forever for the bar to fucking move! He grit his teeth as the bar loaded to the end, the power going off in the whole complex and the armour finally able to move.

He could hear the men approaching the cage, his hearing much better now that all was silent. The first man approached him and Tony clenched his fist, the rubber gloves making their characteristic noise as the man approached him. Tony had no qualms about punching the man in the face, grimacing in satisfaction when he could hear the bones snapping on the man’s neck. One down, two dozens to go.

He couldn’t feel the bullets the men shot at him as he walked out, counting the steps in his head as he did, Tony couldn’t help but smile – more like an animal showing its teeth – as he killed the other three. He found he didn’t really care about their deaths.

The suit was heavy, clumsy, and his eyes were vulnerable – if any of them shot him! – but it did what it was designed to do. Tony walked towards the exit, his metal arms waving around and killing who he needed to kill. It wasn’t glee that made itself known, but the good taste of retribution.

He walked with confidence he hadn’t felt in the three months he had been held captive. He walked slowly but with purpose, the sound of snapping bones in his wake as he made sure to hit those motherfuckers in the face. No, he wouldn't loose sleep over them.

Tony almost rolled his eyes as the terrorists locked the heavy iron doors, leaving one of their own with him. Were they really such cowards? Who was he kidding, of course they were.

He breathed harder, going head to head with his kidnappers, the crunch and sharp snap of bones against metal and rock the beginning of his redemption song. It was as he arrived at the end of the road, when he could see the glare of natural sunlight that he saw what he feared; Yinsen, laying bloody and still on the floor. He could see the man was still breathing, and yet...

“Yinsen!” He shouted, heading for the man.

"Watch out." The man said, voice trembling.

He turned to the side to see the leader, Raza, shooting one of his own grenades at him, how rude! Tony turned, unable to feel the wind as the grenade passed him by, but feeling the floor tremble as the rocks exploded and fell. The utter bastard. Tony activated his own version, rustic, lacking in elegance but definitely functional, he aimed for the wall behind Raza, this was one man he didn't want to kill, this was one man he wanted brought to justice, this was one man he wanted on his knees.

He watched as Raza was thrown to the ground, probably with a mild concussion. He would worry about the bastard later, Yinsen came first.

"Stark."

"Come on." Tony said, lifting the visor, "we got to go. Move for me, come on. We gotta plan, we're gonna stick to it."

"This was always the plan, Stark." Tony looked at him, feeling his temper rise as his stomach dropped, no. That stupid, idiotic, kamikaze son of a bitch! No, Tony refused to believe it!

“Come on, you’re gonna go see your family. Get up.”

“My family’s dead. I’m going to see them now, Stark.” Tony just stared at him, breathing hard, trying to wrap his mind around what Yinsen was saying. The motherfucking son of a bitch! After everything… after, after… Tony swallowed as he looked at Yinsen’s mangled body.

“It’s okay. I want this. I want this.”

Tony chuckled, low and breathy and with too much bitterness behind it, smiling for a dead man’s sake, even if said man had his eyes closed

“Thank you for saving me.” It was all he could say, all he could do as Yinsen’s breath got even shallower than before. Tony knew in this place there was no hope for him, and the good doctor didn’t want hope, he wanted to go.

“Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your life.” It was then that the shallow breaths stopped, with one more inhale, the doctor turned away, facing the roof of the cave, in the place he never got to leave.

Tony got up, pulling the faceplate down as he moved to the entrance. He looked on as he faced the men waiting for him; hardened men and young, holding weapons. Holding _his_ weapons.

He stood facing them, heart in his throat as those people shot him. Some were scared, he could see that, but some only wanted him dead. He could see it in their eyes.

The armour held up. Of course it held up, it was made of the finest piece of metal Stark Industries could find. Shit was damn expensive but damn it if he wasn’t relieved to have it.

“My turn.” He said as the shots stopped, the men running out of ammunition, igniting the flamethrowers in each hand, setting the camp on fire. If that didn’t call someone’s attention he had no idea what would. He felt no pity, no remorse over those people, he could only feel the anger festering and the bitter taste of revenge. 

It was a furnace, hell on earth, the flames, the sheer heat, the explosions around him, the people shooting at him from different distances, the combination damaging one off his metal legs and he couldn’t help but think _‘No! Not here, not now, not with these people!’_

He got up, under fire and flames – quite literally – igniting the one thing he hadn’t told Yinsen about: the flight propulsions.

Tony thought this was what getting out of an exploding volcano would be like, heat, heat everywhere, pressure all around him, oxygen being turned into flames, the pressure under him growing to ridiculous proportions and pushing him further and further and thankfully _away_ from his place of captivity.

Not that it helped much, the jets malfunctioned mid-flight, leading to a forceful and rather ungraceful land in the middle of the thankfully soft sand. He would need to work on the flight stabilisers and the propulsions and a better alloy to construct the next… piece… of… armour. Huh, how about that?

He took the gauntlets and the faceplate away, contemplating the array of metal around him. He would definitely need to work on a better alloy. “Not bad.” He muttered to himself, gathering the pieces he could, protecting from the harsh sun as much as he could as he pulled himself out of the hole and away from the mountains. That was enough mountains to last a lifetime…

The sound of the helicopters came with little surprise, though they were late – but then again, they were always late…

“How was the Fun-vee?” Rhodey asked as he stepped out of the chopper towards Tony. Tony just closed his eyes, smiling. Tired, so fucking tired, exhausted, as he was pulled into a warm embrace from someone he had begun to think he would never see again.

“Next time you ride with me, okay?” Rhodey asked, tugging him close and Tony could do nothing but comply, nodding as Rhodey took him away, into the chopper, away from the desert.

It was off to the camp first, where they gave him water and Tony could have wept had he been the type, the first mouthful of clean water he had had in months! He kept quiet about the incident, at least until they took him to Germany. CIA and the NSA were waiting, along with Interpol and one or two guys he thought might belong to the MI6, but he couldn’t actually be sure.

The questions were all the same, regardless of how they asked…

 _Were there any other bases?_ Not that he knew of, they had only taken him to one.

 _What organization was it?_ The Ten Rings.

 _Did he have to build something for them?_ Yes, the Jericho missile, but he decided to go with another weapon so they could escape.

 _They who?_ Him and Yinsen, but Yinsen died out of foolishness.

 _Had they tortured him?_ Of course they had! One didn’t get the pretty scars just because!

 _Had he divulged anything? Any secrets?_ No since they only wanted him for the missile.

 _Not even the President’s phone number?_ No since Tony couldn’t remember the bastard’s phone by heart. If the Ten Rings did get his phone they might have gotten the Secretary of Defense’s private phone.

 _What happened to the armour?_ It exploded a bit during the fire, it dismantled while falling down.

 _Could he built another one?_ Hardly, too much work, not enough motivation.

That was a big fat lie and Rhodey should’ve called him in on it, were him in his right mind, but one could always forgive a soldier for having a heart. Then it was his turn for the questions…

 _How long had they been looking?_ A month and a half.

 _Why now? If they were ready to declare him dead, why search for him now?_ Rhodey had gotten a call he couldn’t and wouldn’t ignore. With or without his superior’s approval, he was going to look for Tony whether they liked it or not.

 _Who had called? And why?_ Laesa, demanding another search, one last search for him.

Tony had snorted, as captain something-or-other clapped a hand on his shoulder, making tony wince from the pain and the contact. “Your wife is certainly a formidable woman, Mr. Stark. It’s not everyone who could have gotten the choppers moving for someone thought dead, and on a hunch even.” The man smiled, getting out of the medical wing as the doctor came with more bandages.

“How is she?” Tony asked, turning to Rhodey.

“She misses you.” Rhodey said, uncomfortable, Tony blinked at him, waiting for a proper explanation. When none was forthcoming, Tony rolled his eyes, feeling yet again as if his stomach had dropped off a cliff. “The baby?” Rhodey just shook his head, and Tony couldn’t help but look down at the ground. “Did she…?”

“No. No, she didn’t. It was the stress of everything that made her loose the child.” Rhodey sighed, clapping Tony’s neck, bringing them close until their foreheads were touching. “I’m sorry Tony.”

“Nah, it’s… I know she didn’t want it. I know but… how is she?”

“Stressed, she had a stress-relapse last week, but Pepper, Millie and Happy assure me she’s fine.”

“Millie?”

“Her P.A. Tony. Remember her?”

“Sort of… no, not really, no.” Tony shrugged wincing at the pain.

“That’s a broken arm right there,” the doctor said, a tall, blonde, blue eyes man in a green vest. “Come, we have to bandage it. I doubt you had proper medical care wherever you were.”

“No, can’t say I have, no.” Tony replied, allowing the doctor to wrap and then encase his arm.

After that it was a quick trip back to the States. It was nice to see Pepper again, there was nothing quite like a redhead to get him bantering and ready for the press conference, nothing quite like a full day to stop him from getting disappointed at the lack of someone.

She had been slowly but surely pushing for a more high-tech division in the Weapon’s vault, something along the lines of espionage. He knew she, at least, would be proud of what he had done. Even if the world at large doubted and mocked his decisions. The world at large would buy whatever he told them to buy.

He stepped inside the penthouse, closing the door behind him with a click. Pepper and Rhodey had left him there, with a pat and a hug and instructions to not leave.

He looked around the penthouse, trying to remember how things were. Everything was working, everything was fine, the house was clean, quiet… too quiet, with the smell of a house which had not been lived in in a while.

He looked for signs of his lover, her shoes, her notebooks, her tablets… anything…

He sighed, and he couldn’t help but think she had given up on him, there was no trace of her anywhere, no shoes thrown about near the piano, no messages on his brand-new phone, no bowls of midnight ice cream in the kitchen, no pot slowly cooking until it burned, no sound.

Everything was dark, empty… only the sounds of the cars all the way down in the street made him believe he wasn’t back in that cave, trying to get warm, trying to survive, trying to-

He turned around as he heard the sound of footsteps, naked footsteps. He could feel his eyes widen as he looked at her, dressed in a pair of shorts, one of his shirts – the red one from the Apogee award – naked feet, hair in disarray as if she had just woken up, but to him she was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

“Tony?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this chapter was taken from Iron Man 1, do you have any idea the kind of work it is to work with a script? Geez! A special thanks to my girls, Hali, Momo and Tempy who have to put up with my temper tantrums, and to Everfascinated who beta-d this for me =)


	10. Reborn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very very special thanks for Sofiel [also known as Momo] for looking this over for me =)

**Tittle:** A Better Sort of Happiness

**Fandom:** Iron Man  & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

**Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

**Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green eyed baby is born.

**Reborn**

They looked at each other in disbelief, Tony drinking in the sight of Laesa, looking at the woman he had dreamt with for the past three months, the way the shorts fell on her hips, slightly too big, the way his shirt fell off her shoulders...

Laesa just stared at him. Tony was tanned, his hands dirty, his arm bandaged, his suit half a size too big. She took a step in his direction staring at the goatee, the cuts in his face, the hair falling on his forehead... It couldn't be. Her Tony was dead, wasn't he?

"I know I'm not dreaming, I can't be." Laesa muttered, inching closer to Tony. "Is it really you? Please don't be another illusion." She pleaded, standing as close to Tony as she could without touching him.

"It's me," Tony replied taking her hand in his, feeling her hand rough in his, their fingers easily finding the usual stance, touching, together, entwined. He moved her hand to his face, letting her feel the stubble, the fine hairs in his face, the feel of his lips on her palm.

"Tony..." She pleaded, right hand still holding his as she moved forward, holding him close. She had missed him, the feel of his body against hers, his stubble on her neck, the sheer _smell_ of him... She let go of the hand still holding hers, preferring to hug and cling to Tony as she felt his one good arm holding her close. God she had missed him!

They stayed like that for a while, maybe a minute, an hour, she didn't know nor cared.

Eventually they moved to the white couch, just touching each other, Tony feeling Laesa breath in his arm, just feeling her close the way he wasn't able to before. There would be questions later, he knew that, but he wanted to avoid them for as long as possible. He wanted her, wanted to hear her talking to him the way they used to but he knew it as impossible, nothing would ever be the same again.

"Anything interesting happened while I was away?" He asked, feeling her shiver against him, his shoulder slightly damp where she was laying on him.

"Some... Where do you wanna start?" She asked, raising her face to look at Tony, her eyes red.

"When you left Malibu, where did you go?"

"My flat, here in New York." She said, touching Tony's face with her fingers. "I ended up getting drunk, alone in the flat, on cheap tequila. Then came the news of your disappearance." She leaned her forehead on his, closing her eyes, just feeling him close. "What happened to you?"

"I did the presentation, offered them drinks even," Laesa snorted on his shoulder and he held her closer, drinking in her smell, "then we left, Rhodey was in one car and I was in another along with three soldiers."

"There was an ambush." Laesa finished when Tony remained silent too long.

"There was an ambush." Tony agreed, remembering it clearly. He probably always would remember those few moments, "there was a bomb." He continued, uncomfortable. "What happened when you woke up?"

They spent the night relieving their worst memories against their will, though they both knew they would have to, If they wanted a semblance of normalcy between them. Laesa going through three months alone, three months in which she experienced for the first time how much hate people could muster, and what that hate could do. Reliving loosing the baby, the heavy atmosphere in Stark Industries since his disappearance, her doubts, her relief at the abortion. Tony didn't judge her, didn't condemn her for her relief though she could see it hurt him that she didn't want their child. Tony told her about captivity, how it felt to be held at gun point while being forced to watch your creations being used by people not meant to use it, the torture so he would build the missiles for them, Tony deciding to forge his own path with the scraps he had, how he didn't dare think about their time together unless it was in the dead of night least he gave the terrorists something to focus, to threaten him with; he knew he would give in had they threatened her directly. He told her about Yinsen, the man sacrificing himself so Tony could live.

"Show me," Laesa asked, touching his heart above the arc reactor. She felt Tony stiffen under her. "Tony, please." She said, unrelenting in the face of Tony's refusal.

"Laesa..."

"Show me." She demanded, but made no move to tear his shirt off herself.

Tony looked away as he removed her hands, unbuttoning his shirt, exposing the most fragile part of himself. He knew J.A.R.V.I.S. was recording everything, he knew he would watch it later, look at her reaction to the arc reactor and he would torture himself seeing her face of disgust.

Laesa looked curiously at the reactor. She had, of course, seen the bigger version, seen how it didn't really work it was just something to appease the hipsters or something along those lines. Looking at it now, on Tony's chest, the cold blue light shinning from it, powering _whatever_ it held inside... She loved him more for it. For taking a defective power source and turning it into something that kept him alive, mindblowing didn't begin to cover it.

"You... You absolutely infuriating man!" Laesa growled, turning Tony's face to her and giving him a sharp kiss on the lips. "Please don't tell me you were thinking of hiding it from me. How were you thinking you were gonna sleep next to me, with your shirt on?" She rolled her eyes at his cringed look, "Tony!"

"It's..."

"A marvel of engineering? Something only you could have built?"

"Are you trying to stoke my ego?"

"If it'll stop you sulking over something that's keeping you alive."

They looked at each other for a moment longer, Laesa touching the rim where metal met skin, "does it hurt?"

"It's numb, I can't feel your touch, I can't feel anything around it." He sighed. Pulling her closer and giving her another kiss. "Is this okay?"

"Of course it is, elskan." Laesa smiled, holding his face in her hands and licking his cheek, "you do taste a bit like metal, though."

"Really?"

"Yes, unusual, but I think it's only to be expected you did put the powering metal almost in direct contact with your inner organs. What did you use?"

"Palladium,"

"That's dangerous." She said, giving Tony another kiss on his lips.

"We can look for something else to use, we have a lot of time now." Tony smiled at her, his hand settling on the small of her back, feeling her on his lap, a person he had never thought he would see again.

They spent the night touching, it wasn’t about sex, it was the need to touch, it was the need to see that yes, they were both alive, both whole, sane - somewhat anyway - and _there_.

Tony continued on, telling her about the speech they had made while Tony was half-unconscious thinking he wouldn’t understand, the suit, the escape. There was no reason to keep information from her.

Laesa turned his face her way, kissing his lips, feeling the flutterings in her stomach - so different from her pregnancy - smiling as she felt his breath hitch. “Do you still have the blueprint?”

"What?"

"Tony, I know you... I know you have blueprints in your brain from that suit and I know you’ll be trying to make it better. I can’t quite figure out why.”

He took her hand in his, kissing her knuckles, grinning. He did love how she knew him, and he could see the glint in her eyes of finding a new puzzle to play with. He did love how utterly she completed him.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too." He whispered instead of answering, lacing her fingers with his, he couldn't stop touching her, feeling her against him, it was like a need to consume her whole. "I missed you too much, I..."

"I know," she whispered against his lips again. "Trust me, I know, I feel it too." She moved on to tell him about her odd dreams, dreaming with the spider moving inside her, of the hallucinations with Tony due to the miscarriage and the horrible man spilling all the things from the dark part of her mind, of the dream of another entity, maybe even a side of herself she had no knowledge of whispering that someone was responsible for the miscarriage.

"I had thoughts about you as well," Tony whispered, running his thumb under Laesa's panda eyes, she looked ran out, drained yet utterly beautiful in his eyes. "Hell on the last night there, before the escape I had to imagine myself saying goodbye to you." He whispered, kissing her lips again.

"You what?" She asked, confused.

"I had to imagine saying goodbye to you, in this very living room, what's that look for?" He wondered looking at her.

"I... I sort of had the same dream, I think?" She frowned, biting her lower lip. "You were here, just taking my hand, saying that you..."

"That I love you? More than anything in this earth? More than it's probably healthy, more than myself; and if our meeting was on some deity's schedule than I would thank them myself?" He smiled self-depreciating, "surely you knew that elskan."

"I did, I mean I do!" She quickly corrected, "you know I do too, don't you? That I love you?" She asked, his face in her hands as she caressed the cuts on his face. "Don't make me get sappy." She pleaded.

He snorted, kissing her knuckles again, "I know, trust me, I know."

They remained quiet for a moment, just staring at each other before Tony sighed, easily pushing Laesa to her feet and getting up himself, taking her hand in his and going to their bedroom.

"Shower, a nap, and then we're going out."

"Tony..." Laesa started, her voice warning.

"It's not what you think," Tony said, removing his suit as Laesa feasted at the sight of him, "I need to feel at home again, I need to see my people, I need to..."

"I get it."

"Do you?" Tony asked, smirking at her as he noticed her wandering eyes.

"You need to see you're here, not there." She smiled, hearing the sound of the shower running. She must have dozed off because the next thing she felt was Tony getting in bed besides her, felt him pulling the covers after he pulled her close. "This habit of yours must stop." She complained, muttering.

"What?" Tony said, smiling with his nose on the back of her neck, an arm holding her close.

"This habit you have of pushing and pulling. You know I'm yours already." She muttered again, turning to lay on his shoulder, her voice heavy with sleep. Tony wasn't sure she even knew what she was talking about.

(~o~)

Pepper glanced at the TV as she worked, Tony's agenda would be full within the week what with the CIA, the FBI and the DOD, not to mention that agent from the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division. Still a mouthful that. As she worked on Tony's schedule, the TV remained a pleasant buzz behind her, the sound lulling her to peace as only Tony's and Laesa's voices could, years of listening to their talk made her easily descend into work mode, never mind it was only 8am on Saturday morning and she only needed to be at work around midday. She glanced at the TV again and stopped typing at once, just glancing at the TV.

"What the hell?" She muttered, looking at blurry pictures obviously belonging to Tony and Laesa, holding hands, just walking around the beach. "What do they think they're doing?" She whispered, mouth slightly open as the reporter showed more pictures, the two of them holding hands, a sharper picture of the two of them kissing - that must have taken a while since the other pictures where slightly blurry.

Well, Neil would have a field day with that... If he didn't kill Tony first.

She turned up the news.

_"—girlfriend Laesa Nafnlaus. Ms. Nafnlaus had an abortion soon after Mr. Stark's captivity in Afghanistan and there's still doubt if she had anything to do with the kidnapping. Sources close to Mr. Stark deny the accusations."_

Pepper frowned, _'Sources close to Mr. Stark?'_ Oh she would like to know who those sources were.

_"Witnesses say that soon after Mr. Stark's return to his Malibu house the couple was seen arguing in the coffee shop."_ The woman continued and Pepper could only roll her eyes, arguing probably over Laesa's coffee, since Tony had the habit of drinking out of her cup and his. _"Witnesses state Mr. Stark refused to allow his girlfriend a cup."_ Oh yeah, definitely arguing over Laesa's coffee.

_"Mr. Stark here is shown taking Ms. Nafnlaus' cup in hand,"_ Pepper rolled her eyes, turning the sound from the TV off, she knew her friend and she also knew her boss, idly she put 'talk with Legal about slander on TV' on the agenda.

Smirking faintly she sent a message to Neil, _'Your OTP's on the TV'_

(~o~)

Laesa rolled her eyes in annoyance as her phone vibrated for the third time in under two minutes, she glanced at it quickly, snorting and sending a message back to Neil. Tony was glancing at her as he finished his calculations. "Apparently we're fighting on TV, and I'm responsible for your kidnapping."

"Who?" Tony asked, voice hard.

"Never mind that now, Pepper's probably looking into it." Laesa put her phone on the table with a quick warning for DUM-E to not touch it. "How are the calculations going?” She asked, sitting a cup of coffee near the keyboard.

“Coming up, I might have to triple up the amount of Palladium though.” Tony shrugged, unconcerned.

“You’ll end up dying if you do, and then where would I be?” Laesa asked, sitting on the table near Tony, legs dangling near the engineer.

“You’ll end up the CEO of Stark Industries if I do die.” Tony replied without missing a beat, and Laesa rolled her eyes at him, kicking his knee lightly, “I’m not joking.” Tony said, gazing as her through the corner of his eyes, “if I do die, I’m leaving the company to you, along with everything else I own.”

“Please don’t tell me you changed your will.” Laesa pleaded, hiding her face in her hands. Tony momentarily forgot about the calculations for the new arc reactor as he gazed at her, snorting.

“I did, but I don’t plan on dying anytime soon.” Tony grinned, taking her hands in his, her eyes were downcast and he wondered if he did anything bad this time to make her sad. “Hey, hey come on! I just came back!”

“Tony…” Laesa whispered, looking with red-rimmed eyes at him. “You just came back, and you changed your will before you left. You could have died there and I wouldn’t have known, not until someone notified me. Don’t ever do that again.”

“What?”

“Don’t keep things from me, especially when they concern us, especially when they concern you.” Laesa leaned forward, resting her forehead on his, breathing in his scent, mixed in with motor oil, coffee and something metallic “I want to know everything about you, everything that concerns you, I wanna know you inside out… but I can’t if you keep things from me, big changes like that.”

“I was going to tell you, but then…”

“We fought, I know. Could have sent me an e-mail, ástvinur, you know I check them all the time.”

“Then don’t keep things from me either, darling." He said, voice soft yet with a hint of steel to it.

"I don't—" she started, only to be interrupted by Tony's hand over her lower stomach.

"When I saw you after that trip you were freaking out, elskan, it scared me to see you like that." He admitted with a grim smile, running his hand from her stomach to her waist, "I'm just the same you know." He said, his smile turning into a real one and Laesa flushed, part in shame part in pleasure.

"I'm sorry."

"I know how I used to be with other girls, Lie, trust me, I know. But don't be afraid of me."

"I'm not... I wasn't—" she tried to deny, but Tony just arched an eyebrow at her and Laesa sighed, looking at him, "and what if it happens again?"

"Oddly enough if it's with you the idea doesn't scare me as much as it probably should." He shrugged, drawing her in for a quick kiss. "Back to calculations?"

She was momentarily stunned, frowning at Tony as he continued to type. She shook her head out of her stupor, getting down from the table she was sitting on and to the schematics table, looking at the 3D sketch thoughtfully, Tony's words ringing in the back of her mind.

She rolled her eyes as the words played again, deciding to store them away for later. She sighed, looking at the Palladium. It would just result in poisoning, she knew, and soon. She ran through a mental list of the metals she remembered with similar properties. All of them would just result in poisoning either faster than the Palladium or soon after.

"Tony?" She called over her shoulder, turning to him, "Tony!"

"What?" He said, turning on his chair to look at her.

"Promise me something," she didn't ask, she stated, "promise me that when the toxicity in your blood starts to rise you'll tell me."

"The what now?"

"Your blood. We're putting metal inside of you, there's bound to be consequences, when they start tell me."

"I promise," Tony said and looked down then back at the computer.

_'Lies,'_ her mind whispered, but she would keep an eye on him, no use getting into an argument now.

Looking at the mini arc reactor in front of her, she tweaked a bit, removing wires and unneeded parts, parts Tony had to use while in that cave and didn't _that_ make her grind her teeth?

It wasn't long before they were both finished, Laesa with her tweaks and Tony with the necessary calculation. The building of the arc itself was somewhat anticlimactic, wires, metal, power source, putting it together. Nothing unusual in a day's work. Except that they would have to put it inside Tony.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go to a hospital or something? You know remove the…" Laesa asked as Tony took his shirt off and laid on the table, waving her fingers in the direction of his chest.

"Yes, yes I am. Besides you and Pepper, I don't know who I can trust. So I prefer to keep this between us."

"Tony I'm not a doctor!" Laesa sighed, clearly put upon. "I'm an engineer."

"You also have a degree in Neuroscience." Tony pointed out.

"And that's nowhere near the heart!" Laesa snapped, "I could kill you if I did anything wrong."

"Not gonna happen, it's not... All right it _is_ an open heart surgery, but it's simple enough, anyone can do it."

"Then have Pepper do it." Laesa stated, eyes wide.

"Pepper would kill me!"

"And I just might!" Laesa said, but she put the electrodes in Tony's chest anyway.

"I trust you?" Tony tried, giving her a crooked grin.

"I'm calling Pepper!" Laesa decided, turning away from Tony.

"Lie! Come on!" Tony said, staring at Laesa's back.

"I need her to witness your madness in case I do end up killing you."

"So you're gonna do it?"

"Yes," she snapped, more tired than mad, "as soon as Pepper gets here, J.A.R.V.I.S.?"

"I'm calling Ms. Potts now.” The AI replied, his voice calming Laesa in a way people rarely could.

(~o~)

Pepper walked down the stairs to the workshop slowly, quickly typing her three-digit code just to see Tony laying down and Laesa besides him, holding a device in her hands and in regular work gear – jeans, shirt, protective goggles on her forehead, a set of boots a few feet away. Tony, in contrast, was laying on the makeshift bed, hooked to a device that looked eerily like the medical bay’s heart monitor.

Pepper couldn’t help but look at the device in Tony’s chest, the odd blue light shining from it.

“My God, is that the thing that’s keeping you alive?”

“It was, it is now, an antique.” Tony replied, looking at Pepper. Laesa rolled her eyes at the two of them.

“It is not, it’s a spare with a much lower power range, which we’ll use for the next phase of Stark Industries.” She shrugged as Pepper turned to her, “I’m thinking fuel, let’s finish with the Oil business monopoly over fuel and gas or something. Tony doesn’t want it known yet.” She nodded back to Tony, who was glaring at her.

“It’s too dangerous, you know that.”

“I also know that the motto for Stark Industries’ homeland line is ‘tomorrow’s life, today.’” She quoted to him, arching an eyebrow at him.

“I don’t want it, I’m not comfortable with it.”

"Trust me, I know!" Laesa said, giving Tony an impatient look. "We can talk about this later of you want to."

"Why would I want to talk about it? There's nothing to say, we're not doing it!" Tony snapped, Laesa rolling her eyes at him, she knew he was still feeling Afghanistan, she also knew she could point out the benefits later and he would see them from the scientific point of view she knew he had. Anyway, this was not the time to talk about it.

"Whatever you say ástvinur." Laesa agreed easily.

"Laesa, I'm serious."

"I know, and I respect you enough to not bring it up again," she said, adding _'for the foreseeable future anyway,'_ in her head. "So," she started, grabbing the glowing, blue, round thing Tony was holding and showing it for Pepper to see, "this is what will be keeping him alive. We're swapping it for an upgraded unit, but there's a little speed bump." Laesa said, handling the arc reactor back to Tony and perching on the bed, pushing his leg away.

"What do you mean 'speed bump?'" Pepper asked, looking horrified at Tony.

"You explain it, it's your show." Laesa said, looking at Tony.

"It's nothing," Tony sighed, "just a little snag, a little bump. There's an exposed wire underneath this device" he said, twisting the unit in his chest, the reactor holding on with just a thick wire connecting it to Tony. "And it's contacting the socket wall and causing a little bit of a short, it's fine." Tony said rolling his eyes in the face of Pepper's worry.

"What do you want me to do?" Pepper said, staring from one to the other.

"I want you on the lookout in case I end up killing Tony."

"What?!" Pepper asked, horrified, taking half a step back.

"She's joking, Lie don't freak her out." Tony said, sighing.

"I'm not joking Tony! You know I'm not! If I do it wrong it could kill you!" Laesa turned, glaring at him.

Pepper stared at them with a fond smile, it was just like them to go on an tangent and forget she was there. As Laesa and Tony descended into petty bickering, Pepper decided to intervene. "What do you need me for?"

"Pretty much watch," Laesa said as she turned her back on Tony, "I'm going to reach in, lift and remove the wire then replace the unit. I want you on standby if something goes wrong."

"Nothing's going to go wrong, Lie, it's fine!" He said, taking her hand in his, "you can do it, you can do anything."

"Tony..."

"Please? I'm serious, it has to be you." He said, staring at her with the intensity she remembered from their early days, when they were both unsure about each other.

“All right.” Laesa agreed, pulling the arc reactor from Tony, forgetting the thump-thump of her heart. She had something to do, she had one job. And it was to keep Tony Stark alive.

(~o~)

He glanced at the couple from afar, letting them keep their affairs private, as much as possible anyway, apparently they were both ingenious and famous.

The man was on the balcony, ordering two helpings of the dark, bitter liquid, the woman was sitting by the table, watching the man intently, however making no move to get up and go to him.

Odin could see how and why they fit together, he could see the red thread linking them together, could see part of Loki on the man and vice-versa.

It hurt.

It hurt in a way he had not expected to, to see his son alive, healthy, grown up. Loki would always be the son of his heart regardless of gender, place of birth or how many eons had passed. He should have seen it before, should have realized sooner, in other lifetimes…

Loki, of course, did not know him. There was no wide-eyed wonder, no sneer of distaste, no call to him, no hatred. There was nothing, to Loki he was a stranger, someone he had never seen before, someone that meant… nothing.

It hurt in a way Odin always thought he was immune to, to be regarded as an unknown by his son. Loki had no memories of the past, else she would have recognized him the moment he wanted into the ‘coffee shop.’

He could see she was happy in a way she had never been before, not in any of their past lives, was it because of the man she was connected to? Because Asgard had no play in her upbringing? He did not know, and that also hurt. To acknowledge he had overlooked his son’s happiness for so long and so through that the love once shared between them turned to hatred.

“Can I get you anything else?” The boy said, wearing an apron with the logo of the shop.

“No, thank you. The bill…?” He asked, looking at the boy – little more than a child – staring at him.

“Up front mister…”

“Thank you, lad.” Odin said, getting up. He patted the boy on his shoulder, staring into brown eyes, “tonight… I know you got plans tonight, don’t do it, your life has much more to offer than just paying attention at school and caring about the bullies.” He patted the boy, his fingers tingling as he passed on courage and strength where he could see none.

He turned from the lad, watching Loki and the other man. The man was still up front, watching the employee making his beverages. He approached Loki with caution, a carnation forming in his hand, the steam green, the flower creamy with purple borders.

“Miss?” He started, watching avidly Loki’s face for a sign of anything, recognition, hatred, love, anything. He drank in her face, the lines, the tilt of her head, the green eyes, the dark hair gently falling around her face in barely-there waves.

“Yes? Can I help you?” Laesa asked, frowning.

“I wish…” Odin stopped, taking a deep breath and taking her hand in his, holding it firmly, his words stuck in his throat. “I wish you all the luck in the world.” He pushed the words out and kissed her knuckles, giving her the carnation, turning around and heading for the register. He heard the man come back as he left.

“Who was that?” The voice was strong, full of suspicion.

“I’ve no idea.” The voice was the same as ever, proud, light, arrogant, suspicious, _Loki_.

“How did you find her?” A woman asked, stepping up to him and taking his hand. He knew who she was, and she shouldn’t be here, not really.

“I’m a father looking for his son, I did what any powerful man with unlimited resources would. I searched. I could feel her emotions, the waves of her bound magic throughout the realms, few can, thankfully.”

Skuld nodded, continuing her track with Odin as they stepped out of Midgard and into the hidden paths. “What do you think?”

“She’s… she’s finally happy. I’m glad, saddened, but glad.” He sighed, walking towards Asgard, “did you bind her magic?”

“No, her logic did. She might unlock it someday, it depends on Stark.”

“The man?”

“Yes.” Skuld agreed, letting go of Odin as they reached the outbounds of Asgard. “Will you tell anyone?”

“No, no.” He said, shaking his head, “Loki deserves to be left alone. Will you watch over him?”

“Yes. But I won’t change her fate. I’ve tampered enough. You won’t tell Heimdall?” She asked, light on her feet.

“No. If I did all of the nine realms would know sooner or later, I can’t curb his hatred and I won’t put my child in danger.”

“But she’s not. She’s not your child.”

Odin shook his head, a bitter smile on his lips as he looked at the Norn that weaved the future. For all of her knowledge, she knew little of hearts. “Loki will always be the child of my heart, if not by blood. Why did you change her story?”

Skuld pondered for a moment, looking at the god before her. She tugged him down, whispering the secret of the change in his ear, binding his lips against relaying them again. She left as Odin fell to his knees, tears falling from his eye, his hands fisted on his trousers as his shoulders rocked.

(~o~)

Laesa pondered the flower, putting it in the potted land as she had researched online. She wasn’t really big on flowers, but this one was pretty, though she did wonder why the old man gave her a purple carnation of all things…

‘Flower of God’ J.A.R.V.I.S. had told her, to her bemusement.

“You’re keeping it?” Tony asked as he stepped out of the shower, his body quickly adapting to the new reactor.

“It’s pretty,” she shrugged, turning to him, “how’s the reactor?”

“Same as the last one, doesn’t actually feel different you know.” He shrugged, getting to bed.

“Are you going to build it?”

“I am…”

“I want in.”

“You already are.” He replied, giving her a kiss.


	11. Moving Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some thank you notes first:  
> First of all to the absolutely amazing and lovely Mizstorge/Pipenerd: She's lovely and amazing and literally kicked my grammar and this chapter into place.
> 
> Second: To the equally amazing Skoll, without whom the last scene would've been a lot less realistic than it currently is. 
> 
> Also, I literally JUST finished the chapter and I didn't let Mizstorge read the second draft because I was anxious to get this out since it's been way too fucking long. Anyway, enjoy =)

**Title:**  A Better Sort of Happiness

**Fandom:**   Iron Man & Thor & Avengers [films, not comics]

**Pairing:** female!Loki/Tony

**Summary:** After this cycle of Ragnarok, Loki is nowhere to be found on the higher realms. On earth a green-eyed baby is born.

 

**Moving Forward**

 

Laesa was laying on the bed as schematics glowed on her tablet, it was more than an exoskeleton, more like armour and she couldn't help but wonder if Tony was just hiding inside it. She would help him, of course she would, the armour was just that damned cool, but she worried.

"J.A.R.V.I.S.? Give me the run down specifications, also, pull up footage of lab five, I wanna know how my minions are doing."

"Minions? I'd say they would strongly object to that title." Tony said as he walked in, falling on the bed and taking a look at the Mark II on her tablet. "Is that for me?"

"I thought they would too, they like it, oddly enough." She replied with an attempted shrug. "And this one," she continued, throwing a leg over Tony's, his hand automatically moving to caress her thigh, "is mine, look at the breast plate." She said, drawing circles in the suit's chest plate. J.A.R.V.I.S. obligingly changing the blueprints to a more feminine look, Tony rolled his eyes at the both of them.

"You're not putting on the suit."

"Of course I am, if you think you can leave me out of it, you have another thing coming, ástvinur." She snorted, looking at his face, "would you relax?! I'm not planning on cutting a hole in my chest just so I can use the suits. There are other methods, honey." She rolled her eyes at him, changing the suits specifications to Tony's measurements again.

"If you can find another way, go ahead."

She smiled, drawing him into a long kiss, biting his lower lip playfully. "You wouldn't stop me even if you really wanted to."

"Oh yeah?" He growled, his hand itching higher along her thigh, smirking as he heard her breath hitch.

"Yes," she muttered, pretending to look at the tablet, but paying attention to Tony's fingers inching higher and higher.

"Oh, I don't think so, elskan, I think I know just the way to stop you." He whispered in her ear, nuzzling her neck just the way that made her knees weak, Laesa bent her head back, giving him more access. Tony just smirked, his fingers inching along her arm, grabbing the tablet and throwing it away from them, trapping her wrists above her head in a playful grip.

Laesa just let herself be held, aloof; even as she tested his grip her eyes feasted on him. Tony grinned as his other hand caressed the inside of her thighs, inching higher as Tony looked at her. She looked back at him, arching as eyebrow in challenge even as the heel of her feet grazed Tony's leg.

"You are a menace to society." Tony growled, watching her closely, paying attention as her breath hitched again when he ran his fingers over the fabric of her underwear, "I feel it is my duty to keep you away from people, lest you take over other men's minds and bodies." He smirked, his fingers pushing her knickers to the side as he continued to caress her folds.

She smiled, wetting her lower lip, "how are you planning on doing that?"

"Perhaps I might just keep you in my bed forever?" He smiled as she pretended to struggle against him, his fingertips going deeper inside her, even as her thigh rubbed against his half-hard cock. Tony was looking forward to when she tired of playing, but they did so enjoy their games.

"You'll never catch me!" She hissed against his lips, part in pleasure part in mock defiance.

"I think I have you now." He said, his lips barely touching hers, and he couldn't wait until playtime was over and he got to devour her whole. This was sweet torture though, having her like this, getting her slowly worked up. It had been way too long.

"See," Laesa whispered, stealing kisses as she talked, "I don't think so, darling." She smirked, freeing one of her hands just to grab Tony's, holding it in place as she threw her weight forward on her leg, easily changing their positions. Laesa closed her eyes with a sigh, Tony's fingers buried inside her as she sat on his hips.

"Fuck," she hissed, taking a deep breath.

"Planning on it sweetheart," he grinned, wiggling his fingers inside her, her gasp making him smirk.

She groaned on his fingers, hips moving back and forth in search of friction. Tony loved to see her like that, slowly losing control because of him. She released his hand, palms flat against him chest, a need to move beginning to stir in her belly.

"Tony," she whined, "I want you inside," she said, not in the mood for games anymore

"You wouldn't last a minute, darling." He said, teasing her with his fingers, feeling her wet and slick on him, his thumb grazing her clit with fleeting touches, feeling her shudder above him. He smirked, grabbing her neck with his other hand and bringing her near, "you wouldn't last a second with me inside you." He whispered against her lips.

"Tony." She breathed against him, almost a whimper. It had been way too long, she hadn't been in her right mind or mood, Tony hadn't been there and now she was so, so close...

"Already?" Tony asked, amused, slipping another finger inside her, actively fucking his Eigin— Tony stopped thinking for a moment, fingers stilling inside Laesa.

_"Darling, please,"_ _s_ he pleaded, slipping into Icelandic automatically. She always did when her pleasure hitched a fever pitch, Tony loved it when she did that, incoherence suited her.

"Come for me, honey." Tony coaxed, fingers moving in and out of her as hard and fast as he could, her wetness dripping on his hand; his other hand holding her in place as she moaned his name, clenching above Tony, breathing hard.

Tony just stared at her; seeing Laesa fall apart on top of him - or under him - was something he would never get tired of seeing. He cradled her as she let herself fall on top of him, breathing hard and whimpering as Tony slowly removed his fingers.

"That was fast," he breathed in her ear.

"It's been a while," she whispered, hiding her face in his shoulder. Tony could see the tips of her ear turning red.

"Not even with the..." He trailed off, thinking about their toys.

"No," she said, breathing out a laugh. "You weren't here, there was no reason to."

He just stared at her, caressing her hair. They stayed like that for a while, just feeling each other, Laesa's fingers exploring Tony's torso with fleeting touches. Tony stiffened as she got closer and closer to the arc reactor, going completely rigid as Laesa touched the skin around the arc.

"Can I?" She asked, seeing the moment of panic in Tony's eyes. The last time she had touched it had been a medical procedure, to replace it for something better. This, this was something completely different.

"Tony?"

"I... No, don't touch it." He said, covering her hand with his. He didn't force her to remove the hand, forcing Laesa to do something usually had unforeseen consequences. She removed her hand on her own, moving down to Tony's half-hard cock. He stilled her hand shaking his head.

"Killed the mood, huh?" She said with a self-depreciating smile.

"Yeah, sort of." He shrugged as she got up, cleaning his hand on the sheets.

"I did, and I'm sorry." She sighed, sitting next to him and drawing him for another kiss, "I'll make it up to you latter?" she said.

"Yes please," he said, leering. "What are you up to today?" he asked as he watched her dress, jeans, a white dress shirt and boots.

"I've got a meeting with the entire crew today, gotta test the new prototype and, later today, we have a board meeting." She stopped, just looking at him. "You have to show up."

"I know, I'll be there." He sighed, also getting up. "But first I gotta see Rhodey."

"You think he might be interested?" Laesa asked, applying the sunscreen to her pale skin. Everyday routines were so boring, necessary though they might be.

"I think so, yeah." Tony got up, hugging her from behind, kissing her again. "He'd be insane not to."

Laesa sighed, leaning against him for a moment, "I know you don't wanna hear this, but Rhodey is Military, he might refuse. Plausible deniability and all that." She shrugged with the shoulder he was not leaning on, taking hold of Tony's hand on her abdomen.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, maybe..." she said with an unreadable look. "You did a number with that press conference, ástvinur, not that I don't support you, mind, but the military threw a fit at it." she said. "If Rhodey hears about the suit, or, Tesla-forbid, his higher ups? You know they'll want it."

"Well they can't have it," Tony said, gripping her waist tighter. "Private property."

"Are you sure that's what it is?" Laesa snorted, skeptical.

"I'm sure that's my property and that's all I care about." Tony said rolling his eyes at her and letting her go. He also needed to get ready.

"Suit yourself," Laesa shrugged, grabbing Tony's hand and pulling him into a quick kiss. "See you at the meeting?"

"I'll be there," Tony reassured her with a grim smile.

(~o~)

"So, ladies, gents, machines and the peanut gallery," Laesa started, waving at the aisle where the new minions where quietly sitting, most of them were in suits, nervous, just out of universities. "What do we have on the agenda today?!" she asked, standing up on one of the tables and looking around her.

"First," she continued, not waiting an answer, "we have the presentation of the new Stark-tablet to look forward to in a month or so. Who's working on that one?" She asked as if she didn't know every project and every person in her department.

A few gents and one lady lifted their hand, one of the males going red in the face. "Good, good, I have some plans to share with you guys and it’s gonna blow your minds. Also, you get two of the new minions to break in, Nathan, wait for me in the back, we're gonna choose your minions."

The man, tall, dark-skinned and bald waved at her, heading to the back.

"Now, Stark OS?! Where are you guys?" She glanced around, waiting for the ladies and gents to lift their hands. She knew who they were, of course she did, she waited nonetheless. She arched an eyebrow when one-quarter of the team lifted their hands, she would talk to them later too.

"Good, you get two new minions, Diana, wait for me in the back too." She gave them an encouraging smile, no need to call out on them now.

"Weapons OS team, you guys still here right?!" she smiled as a good part of the males lifted their hands. "Awesome! Well, first of all Tony's decision to close down the weapons vault stands," she stated looking at all the grim faces around her, "that does not, however, means we're gonna fire you guys. You're all getting reassigned to something bigger and, hopefully, just as lucrative. The same standards for the weapon vault will continue for most of you. I have plans to speak with you guys individually, however we can't today." She sighed, visibly rolling her eyes, "Board meeting."

That got a laugh all around, most of the minions knew she detested Board meetings, even if she did attend them.

"Moving on, Angel team?!" A few people raised their hands, Neil among them. "You get one minion and two new prototypes Tony and I were thinking about last night." She rolled her eyes as the team cheered. "No guys, he's not joining us, Tony has his own plans." She snorted at their groan.

"I'm feeling the love, guys, I really am! William, in the back" Some people chuckled, others just smiled along, the peanut gallery looked on faces ranging from affronted to confused.

“And, last but certainly not least, our Espionage network, you guys are still on. We stopped making weapons, not adult toys. Andrea, to the back! Alright people, time to get to work, we have a deadline! We have to release the teaser then hand it to the Marketing crew!” Laesa finished, bowing to her employees, as she jumped off the table and went to meet the heads of her team, getting them all in the peanut gallery.

It was easy work to sort out the new recruits and hand them to the teams, easier still to reassign people she had known for ages into a separate team to be on standby while Tony or the Board decided what they wanted to do with the Weapon's Vault. She left them at eleven, heading out for the lounge.

Laesa turned on the headset with a click while Dexter got the computer and the drawing table ready for her. She worked around the table, giving him directions with the stylus.

"Millie?" she asked, moving the helmet drawing sideways and slashing through the virtual construct. "Call Stark, we need to remind him we have a meeting today at two and he must be there." Laesa sighed, biting her lip as she tried to think of an easy way to translate brainwaves into recognisable and readable patterns one could easily control. It was tougher than she thought it would be. "If you get the voicemail transfer to me immediately." she said. Millie couldn't override Tony's protocols, but Laesa could.

Millie agreed on the other end, and Laesa could hear her calling, the phone ringing in the other room as she tried to figure out the path before her. She would need an MRI to start with, see if the machines could pick up the Insert commands, see if there was any difference, see if-

"Ms.?" Millie called from the other end. Laesa blinked slowly, gradually coming back to awareness, her unwitting trance leaving her mind at a slower pace than usual.

"Pass me the call, Millie." Laesa said, shaking her head. Hearing Millie merge the call, she quickly dropped Millie's line, this was private. "J.A.R.V.I.S.? Is Tony there?"

"Yes ma'am, however I'm under orders to not let any call go through; sir is working on a project."

Laesa sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose, "J.A.R.V.I.S. override Beta, four, two, Gama, six, Tango." The beep signaled the override, Tony's phone rung twice before he picked up and she couldn't help but smile fondly at herself, Tony could be so predictable sometimes.

"Darling, you know I love you, but–"

"But you have a Board of Directors meeting at two." She interrupted, biting her lower lip as she glanced out of the office window. "It's already eleven forty-three, it'll take you at least an hour to get here."

"Already? Damnit!" Tony continued to swear, Laesa's stifling laughter as he berated Butterfingers for not warning him.

"Do I want to know what's going on over there?" she asked, her voice carrying laughter as Tony continued to curse on the other end.

"I'll tell you later? I'm working on something."

"I can tell." She smiled to herself, knowing Tony would pick it up. "How big is it?"

"Big enough for me."

"All right, now for the unpleasant part." She breathed in and out a few times, steeling herself, she had an inkling Tony would flip. "To close the weapons' vault you need to give us something else with the same potential to be lucrative. I was thinking maybe–"

"I'm not giving up the arc reactor," he interrupted, voice hard and tense.

"I'm not asking you to," she countered immediately, shrugging, even though Tony couldn't see her, "I saw how uncomfortable you were this morning, I'm not gonna ask it of you."

"Not building one for the company either." Tony said and Laesa blinked in surprise, how did he...? Right, Tony. "I'm serious, no shrinking that monstrosity down," he said.

"Okay, I can promise that," Laesa said, taken back by Tony's animosity. "But you need to give us something else to work with. Eliminating sixty-percent of income is not good for business and everyone's uneasy, I just had to reassure the team we're not cutting down the budget nor their jobs. I can guarantee the R&D, can you guarantee the foot workers without compromising our gain?" Tony kept his silence at the other end, Laesa sighed, letting the holograms play at the other end of her office as she looked outside her window, focused on the conversation. "I thought so, how many do we have to cut?"

"I'm not sure, but not all, Jesus, no."

"Get here Tony, think about what we'll have to do on the way over."

"I will." Tony hung up.

Laesa let her head hit the window. She hated cutting resources when they didn't need to. And they wouldn't have to if Tony had been smart about the whole deal. But no, he had had a conscience attack and now sixty-percent of income had been shut down. "Goddamn it, Stark!" She shouted, punching the reinforced glass. She would stand by him, of course she would, didn't mean she agreed about the way he was doing business. But Tony delighted in reminding her that he was the visionary businessmen, not her.

But she had promised – if only to herself – she wouldn't let him fall if she could.

(~o~)

Tony had been a few minutes late and Laesa would probably always remember the looks of relief and apprehension in her fellows' faces. Stane looked like he was trying to smile through his hatred.

Laesa wondered what had happened. Stane had always been receptive of Tony, could it be their relationship? She hated to think so, but he had been looking at them differently, analysing, considering, testing boundaries.

"Are you sure you should be here?" Stane asked, the face of a concerned parent when he turned to look directly at Tony.

"It's a Board meeting, of course I should be here." Tony said, sitting down, unbuttoning the suit and getting comfortable. He stared around the room, meeting each face and asserting why he was the CEO of Stark Industries.

The meeting went as well as could be expected, which was just a nice way to put that three-fourths of the Board members didn't trust Tony to lead the company, the other part was mildly loyal due to convenience alone. At the end an injunction had been filled, Obadiah claiming Tony was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and shouldn't be burdened with leading a multi-billion dollar company until he was back to normal.

The vote wasn't unanimous, but it was enough to have Tony take the back seat while Stane took virtual control all over again

Tony did get one over them still, claiming he had already signed the papers to close down the weapons vault that very morning, after Laesa had gone to work. Laesa knew he hadn't, but that was a matter of technicalities.

She held back the urge to snort as Tony thanked all the members, shaking hands with a stoic face. She shook his hand as well as she passed him by, earning a half smile from him.

(~o~)

"Well that could've gone better," Tony said, sitting on the table and staring at Obie, arching an eyebrow.

"Tony..." Obadiah started slow and clearly planning excuses, but Tony wasn't in the mood to listen.

"Don't. Just don't," Tony said, shaking his head. "You were planning on putting me on the back seat regardless if I showed up or not."

"You just shut down sixty percent of or company! What did you expect me to do? Take it lying down while you wrecked the empire I built?

"I expected you to trust that I knew what I was doing!" Tony shouted. The injunction, the looks of distrust and pity had all left a bitter taste on his mouth. "You think it came out of nowhere?!"

"What am I supposed to think? You were gone for three months, involuntary though it might've been, you come back and you shut down the most lucrative part of the company. That came out of nowhere to us, Tony."

Tony snorted, looking around the room in disgust, bile rising up his throat. Had he really promoted those people? No, not really, maybe two or five besides Laesa, but that was it. Obadiah didn't understand and Tony wouldn't force him to. "I had two things to think of when I was in that cave," Tony began again, staring at Obadiah. "First: How to escape. Second: what to do with the new knowledge that my weapons were being used by the very targets they were meant to kill. So no, it wasn't a sudden decision." Tony said.

"I thought you were a pacifist now, Tony," Obadiah said with a sardonic grin.

"Hardly," Tony said, serious and straight forward. "I just know what I should do."

"And that means closing the Vault?! You can't be serious! You heard what they said! PTSD, public secrets and the direction you were trying to leading us in? Not in the company's best interest."

"I'm being responsible!" Tony shouted, standing up abruptly, just to start striding up and down the room. "That's a new direction for me, for the company." He stopped gesturing with his hands as he tried to explain his thoughts, that he had finally been confronted with who was actually using his weapons, what they did, to whom and how. "I mean… me on the company's behalf." He floundered, how could he explain? How could he explain the sudden - not all that sudden really - attack of conscience? "Being responsible for the way that..." He trailed off as he stared at the look of amusement on Obadiah’s face.

“This is great," he huffed, heading for the door. “I’ll be in the workshop.” Tony shook his head, waving two fingers back at Obadiah.

“Tony, hey Tony!” Obadiah shouted, catching up to Tony and taking hold of his shoulder, “I’m gonna try to turn this thing around but-”

“Try to turn it around?” Tony asked, his voice just this side of sardonic as he shrugged free of Obadiah’s hold. "Are you fucking kidding me? Weren’t you the one to suggest the Board cut me off or was I at a different meeting?”

“You gotta stop being so naïve.” Obadiah sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, the engineer rounded on him with a glare, “I did what I had to do to keep this company going, and yes I do think you need some time off to think things through.”

He shook his head, grabbing Tony’s shoulder again, giving it a hard shake as he stared right back. “I worry about you, Tony, you close yourself off, you remain hidden from everyone but Pepper and Ms. Nafnlaus.”

“I thought that was the whole idea? To lay low while you took care of things?”

“With the press!”

“Yeah, whatever. Bye Obie!” Tony shook himself free again, ignoring Obadiah’s narrowed gaze as he walked towards the door. He bypassed Pepper, ignoring her startled look as he stalked out of Stark Industries’ HQ.

(~o~)

"J.A.R.V.I.S., Tony’s at the workshop, right?" Laesa asked even though she didn't wait for an answer. She removed her shoes heading for the workshop and stopping on the threshold. "You're so gonna hurt yourself."

Tony was tinkering with what looked like part of a metal bracelet on his wrist with the marks of an exoskeleton up to his armpits. On his palm was a white circular stabilizer, and she knew exactly what he was planning on doing. Laesa just stared at him for a long moment. "You're definitely going to hurt yourself." She felt the need to repeat, putting on a pair of Crocs, for safety, as she walked into the workshop.

Tony snorted when he saw her, fancy work clothes and bright green Crocs, yet Laesa could see the anger in his eyes.

She knew he would be pissed, and she knew who would be the one to try and make him see past that anger, to try and make him see the opportunity handed to him and reason with him. She wasn't in the mood, she wanted reassurance as much as he wanted to lash out right now. Oh well, the joys of living with Tony Stark.

"Tony?"

"It's a flight stabiliser, it's harmless," he said, turning the screws one last time and putting down the screwdriver.

"See, I doubt that," she said, leaning against the glass wall and crossing her arms. She watched in a mixture of glee and apprehension, with a knot in her stomach, as Tony turned on the stabiliser. She watched as he was lifted up for half an inch and was flung away from the table and crashed into a wall, the workshop rumbling with the impact. Flight stabilisers were harmless on planes, not on people, no matter how low their power was.

Laesa walked up to Tony, rolling her eyes as he grunted. "J.A.R.V.I.S. record that," she said, kneeling by him and brushing the plaster off his hair, unable to keep from rolling her eyes again. "I hold the rights to say 'I told you so' as much as I want until tomorrow," she grinned, smug.

She arched an eyebrow at Tony as he got up, glaring at her.

"You knew that would happen," he said, and she knew he wasn't talking about the most recent test.

"Your little test with the stabiliser? Yes, you put too much power into it." She replied nonchalant, shrugging. "Ten percent of power? Really, Tony?"

"The meeting."

"I knew there was something planned, that they wanted something, I didn't know Stane would go for complete lockout."

"There's no way you couldn't have known, you have eyes and ears everywhere." Tony growled, stalking towards her, Laesa smirked, she couldn't help it.

"I do, in places that interest me. I had no idea Stane would ambush you like he did. I thought we could trust him." She shrugged again, steeling herself for the argument Tony clearly wanted to have. If that's what he wanted then so be it, she could feel her own temper rising.

"Then why did you warn me? Why did you say they needed something?" Tony shouted, trapping Laesa against the wall, a hand on each side of her head.

"Because that's how we think when it comes to business." She said, face set in stone, "that's how the world works, Tony, stop being so naïve, you take something from us you gotta give us something back! Equal or greater value."

They stared at each other, Laesa counting her heartbeats, while Tony searched for something on her face. She had heard what Stane had said, hell everyone had, she knew it would strike a cord with him and force him to think.

"Is that all you care about? Profit?" Tony asked, voice trying for detached but failing miserably into quiet rage.

"What am I supposed to care for? Caring about profit is part of my job description." She replied with a sardonic smile. "What did you expect me to care for?"

She knew she was goading him on, feeding into his need to lash out. It was better they had this fight now, when their tempers were high, when Laesa felt as much need to lash out as he did. It had been three months without seeing each other, and the frustration, the fear, the anger, the sleepless nights worrying about him did take a tool on her. Not to mention the hallucinations in the morning, of Tony being _there_ , when he wasn't...

Tony remained quiet, glaring at her, his hand clenching and unclenching next to her, his fingers digging into the busted wall, debris raining right beside her head.

"What am I supposed to care for, Stark? You? Your feelings? Please... You're supposed to be a grown boy." She smiled again, well aware she was goading him right into the fight Tony wanted so much. "Did you grow up at all, Stark, or are you the same naive man from years back?"

"You think you're funny?"

"Oh I think I can be very funny, right now I'm just throwing your truths back at you. How does it feel?"

He stopped for a moment, just looking at her, feeling his anger soar and suddenly deflate. The need to have his arms around her echoing in the back of his head, he could feel the anger drain out of him as if someone had just opened the metaphorical emotional drain, it was slowly turning into fatigue.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked, closing his eyes, his jaw set, trying to hold on to his anger, even as he knew it was in no way directed at her.

"Because you're being unreasonable, I'm not the one you're mad at," Laesa said, daring to card her fingers through the back of his neck. "Stop taking it out on me," she whispered in his ear. “I won’t shy away from you, I won’t spare your feelings, and I hate hurting you like that.”

Tony's hands automatically found her hips, circling her waist and hugging her. Laesa let him, letting her temper deflate as fast as it had risen, leaving only the emptiness left by a long period of loneliness. She hugged Tony close, her arms around his neck, letting her head fall back against the wall, Tony's falling forward.

"I expect an apology for that outburst," she said, carding her fingers on Tony's hair.

"I'm sorry," Tony whispered against the hollow of her neck, she could feel his lips twitch in amusement. She could feel the tenderness of his feelings, like a thin string slowly filling the void left behind for those three months away.

"Not that sort of apology," she said lightly.

They stayed like that for a moment; hugging, leaning against the wall with plaster all around them and the skeleton of the gauntlet near their feet. It was all silent around them, the outburst leaving them drained after a rather stressful day.

Tony straightened up, his arms still around Laesa as he took a step back from the plaster. Laesa followed his lead, narrowing her eyes in confusion.

Tony smiled at her, pressing a finger to her lips, then letting his head fall forward again, touching hers as he slowly started to sway to music only they could hear. Laesa allowed it gracefully, letting him lead as they started to dance in silence, to a tune only they could listen to.

They exchanged glances, shy at first, as their steps shuffled around, then ease and certainty bled through and fleeting touches turned to steady hands, shyness turned into eagerness as they melted together.

Tony took her hand, twirling her around, and bringing her close again, holding her hips as she held on to his shoulders. They kissed as they danced in the middle of the workshop, J.A.R.V.I.S. kept things quiet for them as night fell outside.

They danced for a moment, it could've been ten minutes, one hour, the whole of existence as they lost themselves in each other, letting go of fear, anger, madness and letting themselves be happy for once. Away from everything but their own world.

Laesa looked up at Tony, her eyes widening as her feet gave out under her, suddenly clinging to Tony as she lost all feeling from her knees down. She glanced fearfully at him as he took on her full weight, slowly lowering her down.

"Darling?" He asked, looking down at her, his eyes wide as he took in her legs, still whole, yes, but not working.

"I... I don't know what's going on. I can't feel my feet anymore." She glanced at him, eyes wide as panic started to claw its way in.

"Breath elskan, we're gonna get you through this, you're gonna be fine," Tony said, feeling the strings of panic in the back of his mind, her panic. "J.A.R.V.I.S.?" Tony called.

"I don't wanna go to a hospital, Tony," Laesa said even as her voice started to sound unsteady. "I've got work to do, I've got the release of three different products and I can't be in a hospital." She said, gritting her teeth.

Tony rolled his eyes, ignoring her complaints. "You can't release a new product if you're not fine, better yet, I'm not gonna let you release anything unless you're walking!" Tony said, sitting on the floor with plaster still dirtying his hair as he dragged Laesa's legs to his lap.

He looked at her, waiting for permission before he pinched her leg. "Can you feel that?"

"No," she shook her head, reaching out and pinching herself again. "Nothing."

"That's it, we're going to the hospital, J.A.R.V.I.S.?!"

"Tony!" Laesa protested, even as her Eigin picked her up. Not effortlessly, not by a long shot, but with enough ease to leave her speechless for a moment.

"I took the liberty of calling an ambulance, sir, it will be here shortly."

"Traitors," Laesa muttered, trying to wiggle her toes inside her Crocs as Tony carried her up. She couldn't feel anything below her knees. She wondered morbidly if that was how amputation victims felt, knowing there was supposed to be a limb there but unable to feel it but for he vague sense of wrongness.

"I can already see the headlines tomorrow," Laesa muttered, one arm holding on to Tony while she continues to pinch herself with the other hand. She knew her legs would be black and blue come morning. "'Nafnlaus sick, Stark Industries looking for a new head of IT'."

"'Concerned boyfriend rampages hospital'," Tony countered, letting her down on the couch, he could hear the sirens coming up to his door, the blue and white glow and the sound making his wince.

They waited in silence as the paramedics entered, exchanging looks as the young men entered their home with quiet efficiency.

One of them took her pressure and vitals while the other started with questions. Her name, where she was and what time of the night it was, however she had no idea why she had suddenly lost feeling in her legs.

Tony hovered in the background as one of the paramedics put a oxygen mask over Laesa’s face, silently reminding himself to have J.A.R.V.I.S. make stills of the footage later.

The Crocs were removed from her feet, one of the paramedics pressing his hand against them. “Can you feel that?” he asked, Laesa shook her head in answers. “Can you push down against my hand?”

Laesa frowned, taking off the oxygen mask, “I’m trying to.”

The other paramedic moved to check her back, as the first one took up the questions and felt for a pulse “Ms, did you fall down?”

“No, I-“

“She didn’t,” Tony interrupted, still hovering, “I caught her when she lost her footing.”

“It happened out of nowhere,” Laesa said, rolling her eyes at Tony’s look of stern concern. “One minute we were dancing and then… nothing.”

“You just lost feeling? There was no numbness, nothing?”

“There might’ve been,” Laesa admitted, shrugging, “I didn’t notice, I was focused on something else.”

“You didn’t notice your legs going numb?” Tony asked, rounding on her, his hands nervously rubbing each other.

“We were fighting at the time, excuse me if I was preoccupied with something else! My legs don’t usually give out on a day to day basis for me to notice a pattern!” Laesa snapped. She noticed from the corner of her eye the paramedics sharing a look, but she kept quiet, let the boys do their job.

“This fight… I see you’re both covered in a white substance, can you tell me what happened?”

“Tony was trying new flight stabilizers, but they had too much power in them. He ended up hitting a wall.” Laesa smirked at him, as the paramedics moved her to a stretcher. “I went to help him, we argued. It’s just plaster and paint.”

“Anything physical?”

“I would never!” Tony growled, even as Laesa shook her head.

“No, never, he knows better than that and I tend to leave marks when I hit him.” Laesa replied, smirking faintly as she tried to diffuse the heavy feeling settling over them.

“Alright, are you on any meds? Has anything like this ever happened before?” One of the men asked, pushing the stretcher to the ambulance, Tony trailing after them.

“No, never, this is the first time.” Laesa said.

“Any history of hospitalization? Prescribed meds?” One of them asked as the other moved to the front seat, Tony getting in the back with his lover as the paramedics put the oxygen mask over her face again.

“No… just the miscarriage a few months ago, but that couldn’t be related, could it?” Tony asked as they drove by the cars and houses in the direction of the nearest hospital.

“Probably not, we’ll know more when we get to the hospital. Anything different occurred, Ms?”

“When Tony was away…” Laesa begun, taking off the oxygen mask again, “I sometimes had hallucinations that he was back here.

“Okay, look, I just have to ask, we need to know because we’re trying to help okay? Have you been drinking excessively or doing drugs?”

“No, just my regular birth control pill, I was tested some months ago when I got pregnant and after the pregnancy, everything seemed fine.”

“Alright, we’ll get you to the hospital, see what’s going on.”

Tony  took out his phone, looking at Laesa for a moment before he began speaking with Millie, saying Laesa was not gonna show up for work for a few days and that Neil and Diana would be the ones in charge until everything was settled.

They remained in relative silence during the trip, Laesa answering questions quietly, while Tony kept an eye on her and on his phone. Laesa could see the schematics forming and she couldn’t help roll her eyes at him, a scientist through and through…

Laesa winced, grimacing as the feel of pins and needles started, as feeling started to return to her legs, well, they would be in the hospital soon and the doctor would see it. There was absolutely no reason for concern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fear some of you might be confused, since I use a lot of Icelandic in this chapter.  
> If you googled those words you might know where I'm heading with the fic. I urge you not to, however.
> 
> There's a good reason those words are there, don't spoil yourselves by looking for them. [If you're on tumblr or skype with me you're already spoiled, sorry.]


End file.
